Baby's Day Out Review (2010 Video)

Mike Stoklasa: Plinkett

Quotes 

• [repeated line] 

  Plinkett : Fuck the pain away.

• Plinkett : [on the phone]  I wanna check on a separate order I placed about a week ago. It was for about 16 merkins. Item #568, salt and pepper, extra absorbent.

  Brian : Okay... I am showing those as shipped and received. Are you sure you didn't get those, sir?

  Plinkett : Hmm, I'll have to look around. Sometimes my cat opens my mail. But I don't know what my cat would want with a box full of merkins.

  Brian : Maybe your cat mistook them for cat toys.

  Plinkett : I guess that's possible. Anything is possible with Bush in the White House.

• Plinkett : You see, Baby's Day Out was clearly modeled after the success of Home Alone. And when I say modeled, I mean RIPPED OFF!

• Plinkett : Baby's Day Out is about as interesting as my taint.

• Eddie : The Milwaukee Mob couldn't kill me...

  Plinkett : The Milwaukee Mob? What the fuck does that mean?

• Plinkett : My cat stole my merkins!

• Eddie : You wanna make jokes, join the circus.

  Plinkett : They don't tell jokes in the circus. It's more about acrobatics and animals and amazing feats, it's not really about jokes.

• Plinkett : Anybody wanna help me milk my cock?

  [shows a picture of a chicken] 

• Plinkett : When will I get my merkins in the mail?

• Brian : Okay, let's confirm: we have two dozen new hair plugs, 16 salt and pepper merkins, a box of industrial strength anal lube, 11 rolls of duct tape, 40 boxes of Hefty trash bags, black, 1 C-46 Black and Decker table top saw blade replacement, one case of Raid: fast kill, low irritant, and a DVD titled "Little People Having Big Fun." Will that complete your order, sir?

  Plinkett : Yeah. You guys got my credit card number on file? It's my brother in-law's credit card. It says Rick Berman on it. He said I could use it. You gotta trust me.

  Brian : Okay... your total comes to $2,568.00.

  Plinkett : Charge that card.

• Plinkett : Merkins!

• Plinkett : Why did they dress the baby up like Chucky?

• Plinkett : I mean, was this movie made JUST to piss me off?

• Plinkett : Carl Sandburg once said, "life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time. Sometimes you weep." Y'know, he's crawling around and... Carl Sandburg's a fucking retard.