- Homer Simpson: Don't worry, Marge. As a favor to you, I'm enrolling that precious little jerk in this fresh air summer camp.
- Marge Simpson: That's a prison road crew.
- Bart Simpson: I did that last summer. I'm not allowed back.
- Lisa: [narrating] Our Lord, Buddha, says: "The secret of existence is to pass beyond fear." My brother is about to meet fear... and as usual... he won't pass.
- Homer: If the "Expendables" movies have taught us anything, it's that people do their best work after they're old and forgotten.
- Milhouse: [running] I'm doing it! I'm doing it! And when I win, I'm changing my name to something cool like Winnie!
- [fireworks system overturns, aiming to the bystanders]
- Professor Frink: The term "target audience" is taking on a sinister connotation.
- Dr. Hibbert: [to Milhouse] Son! What happened to you in the dark place behind the school? Something good?