- Grant Anderson: Deandra, help me out - name an animal that we eat but doesn't eat us.
- Dee Reynolds: Well, Grant, I'll tell you what. I like to eat cock.
- Grant Anderson: Name something that people are afraid of.
- Frank Reynolds: [clears throat] We're gonna go with...
- Mac: Wait, wait, wait, Frank. You have to say it in the form of a question.
- Frank Reynolds: What is...?
- Grant Anderson: No, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't have to do that 'cause it's not Jeopardy. All right?
- Mac: Ah, it's not Jeopardy. Say "show me," Frank.
- Grant Anderson: Don't say "show me," Frank. Just say the word. Just say the word.
- Frank Reynolds: Show me clowns!
- Mac: Show me... cow!
- Grant Anderson: Nope, that's me. I say that word. I say the "show me" part. You just give me the answer. Okay, Ronald?
- Mac: Right, I'm sorry. Show me c...
- Grant Anderson: Don't say "show me." Don't say it. Just say the answer.
- Mac: Show... show me... is the part I say?
- Grant Anderson: Here's the one thing... there's only one thing in the whole world at this moment you shouldn't say: "show me." So just give me the answer, and then I'll say sh... You know what, go ahead and do it. Just go ahead and do it, then.
- Mac: Do what?
- Grant Anderson: Mother of... Show me cow!
- Dennis Reynolds: Dee, you and I are gonna play.
- Dee Reynolds: Yeah? Can I do my fart keychain?
- Dennis Reynolds: Absolutely goddamn not.
- Dennis Reynolds: All right, listen, this is Family Fight. This is a nationally televised program. This is a very big deal for us, okay? We're talking... What are you doing? Are you stealing an ashtray right now?
- Mac: Yeah.
- Dennis Reynolds: Why? We have ashtrays, and you don't even smoke.
- Mac: Okay, I'm afraid of game show rules.
- Dee Reynolds: You guys, I know what it is. It's failure.
- Dennis Reynolds: That's too pathetic.
- Frank Reynolds: Liberal yahoos taking my guns.
- Dennis Reynolds: That-that is a political firestorm, Frank. No!
- Charlie Kelly: Oh, oh! The Nightman.