You're the Worst (TV Series)

Pilot (2014)

Desmin Borges: Edgar Quintero

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jimmy : Why would I even listen to you? Eh? You're a mental case. You're on like a billion medications that all say, Take for batshit craziness!

  Edgar : I was defending our country.

  Jimmy : Oh, please. You weren't defending anything except for the business interests of evil men.

  Edgar : Jimmy, our country is the business interests of evil men.

  Jimmy : That may be the most intelligent thing you've ever said.

  Edgar : Thanks.

  Jimmy : You're still a goddamn lunatic.

• Gretchen : So, how do you guys know each other?

  Edgar : Ah, we met in college.

  Jimmy : No, we didn't.

  Edgar : Well, he was in college, and I sold weed to college kids. Then he started giving me books to read, 'cause he saw untapped potential in me.

  Jimmy : I gave you books that I stole from Borders, because I didn't have money for weed.

  Edgar : Semantics.

• [Jimmy is endorsing a royalty check for $17.43 when Edgar enters] 

  Edgar : I got your car towed back here. And look who I found getting out of a cab.

  [Gretchen enters and waves to Jimmy; he turns back to the check without acknowledging her] 

  Gretchen : Don't worry. I forgot my purse. Not on purpose or anything.

  Edgar : I'm gonna leave you two alone.

  [leaves] 

  Gretchen : He's sweet. It's nice that you let him live here.

  Jimmy : You know, your purse had food in it. It was covered in ants. Who keeps food in their purse?

  Gretchen : Whoa, what's your problem?

  Jimmy : Well, I've had a really shitty day. And then I come home to find that my bedroom is a goddamn '50s sci-fi movie. And why would you stay over? Huh? That's amateur hour.

  Gretchen : Here I was worried you were gonna get the wrong idea about last night. So thank you for saving me the speech.

  Jimmy : You were gonna make a speech?

  Gretchen : Okay, forget it.

  [leaves] 

  Jimmy : Yeah, no kidding. Save your breath.

  Gretchen : [reenters]  I don't know what planet that you're from, but on my planet, someone like *you* does not just get this. Congratulations. You bagged a weakened gazelle. That's right - I'm still stupid-hooked on someone else, who is eons further than you in the evolutionary scale in all categories except maybe unearned ego and back fat. Oh, what? You so value honesty, you had to chew a bride out on her wedding day in the name of it? Well, why don't you face this giant hunk of truth, Jimmy? There is a fat asterisk next to my name on your skank-ridden little bone list, and it reads, She probably would've gone home with anyone that night. So thank you! Thank you for my wake-up call, Jimmy Stupid-Three-Names. You are officially my bottom.

  [grabs her purse and storms out]