- [last lines]
- Detective William Murdoch: Oh Julia, come and join me; the tea is here.
- Dr. Julia Ogden: Brilliant.
- [he presents her with a bouquet of roses]
- Dr. Julia Ogden: William! How thoughtful.
- Detective William Murdoch: I promise never to stop courting you.
- [guiding her to a seat]
- Detective William Murdoch: Please.
- [she sits on the 'flatulence sack']
- Detective William Murdoch: [laughing] It worked so well.
- [Julia beats him playfully with a cushion]
- Constable George Crabtree: Thank you for the sandwich.
- Edna Brooks: I won't use butter next time. You're even fussier than Simon is.
- Constable George Crabtree: Well, butter has its place in many things, Edna, but a friend of the sandwich it is not.
- [first lines]
- Constable Henry Higgins: Enough already!
- Constable George Crabtree: Let's have Bert Grady!
- Constable Henry Higgins: Yeah. Booooo!
- Constable George Crabtree: Oh, come on, Higgins.
- Bert Grady: [on stage] I sat down next to a guy at the tavern, a chatty type. He told me that his mother-in-law was an angel. I said, "Lucky you. Mine's still alive." Now, but that's not entirely true; I do have a soft spot for my mother-in-law. It's right behind this theater in fact. I missed her at first, so I reloaded and tried again. That did it. Now, you can't blame me. She told me she always wanted to go down under; I just didn't realize 'down under' meant Australia 'til it was too late. Now she's six feet under. Not that she cared for me much either, though. She said that she was going to dance on my grave. I said that I hope you do 'cause I plan to be buried at sea. Thank you all very much. Thank you.