Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series)
Kimmy Is Bad at Math! (2015)
Tituss Burgess: Titus Andromedon
Quotes
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Kimmy Schmidt : I'm never gonna get my high school diploma! I need Dong.
Titus Andromedon : Trust me, that's not gonna solve all your problems.
Kimmy Schmidt : Dong is the name of the Vietnamese guy in my class. He's good at math.
Titus Andromedon : That's racist!
Kimmy Schmidt : But he is good at math.
Titus Andromedon : I don't make the rules.
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Lillian Kaushtupper : [entering Titus and Kimmy's apartment] Oof! Do not go in there.
Titus Andromedon : Where? Outside?
Lillian Kaushtupper : You heard me.
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Titus Andromedon : Be wary of a rich man's interest. Odds are, it's a prank. That's how I got duped on the unaired VH3 reality program "Joe Invisible Millionaire."
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Titus Andromedon : I got treated better as a werewolf than I ever did as a black man. That's messed up.
Lillian Kaushtupper : I'm gonna tell you what's messed up. Our bodega started selling Greek yogurt and bottled water and unexpired meats. Who's that for? They're comin', those white sons of bitches.
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Kimmy Schmidt : Titus, why are you dressed like that? You didn't even go to work today.
Titus Andromedon : I've decided to live as a werewolf.
Kimmy Schmidt : Wha'?
Titus Andromedon : It's so much easier than being an African-American man. Security guards don't follow me around in stores, dogs have stopped barking at me, and no one mistook me for Samuel L. Jackson all day!