- Adrian Pimento: Jimmy the Butcher made me drive a croquet wicket through a guy's eyes into his brain. Brain leaked out his eyes like he was crying his own mind.
- Gina Linetti: Would you tell the sky to stop being so blue?
- Captain Ray Holt: Yes, I wish it were tan. It's my favorite color. It's no nonsense.
- Captain Ray Holt: I made an application to the M. C. Guffin Foundation for a grant to upgrade our office equipment. Unfortunately, they require a video submission. I understand you have some filmmaking experience.
- Gina Linetti: Well, you know, I've been re-Vined by Rob Kardashian, so, yeah, I'm a director. Here's what I'm picturing: I enter, in, like, a Fellini-style getup. Rosa's dressed like a porcupine...
- Captain Ray Holt: [Interrupting] Oh, no, no. We're just gonna do a simple, straightforward tour of the precinct featuring Detective Diaz and me.
- Gina Linetti: Are you sure? You're not our most dynamic screen presences.
- Rosa Diaz: I can be dynamic. Exclamation point.
- Captain Ray Holt: Well, Diaz and I have that kind of easy chemistry - where we finish each other's...
- Rosa Diaz: Sentences.
- Captain Ray Holt: Please, don't interrupt me. That kind of nonsense won't happen on camera.