Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV Series)

Sabotage (2015)

Chris Parnell: Geoffrey Hoytsman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Geoffrey Hoytsman : I had everything. I had friends, a wife, two beautiful children... out of three total. Not a bad ratio.

• Geoffrey Hoytsman : You never should have arrested me.

  Jake Peralta : But I basically got your cocaine charges dropped. You only had to do 40 hours of community service.

  Geoffrey Hoytsman : Right, but I wanted to get them all done at once, so for energy, I did way too much cocaine and meth. Went on a prolonged psychotic episode involving assault, public fornication, and, apparently, the touching of my scrotum to every doorknob in a synagogue.

• Geoffrey Hoytsman : I had to grab a few things at the art supply store. Kidnapping is 90 percent crafting.

• Jake Peralta : People are gonna notice if I disappear.

  [His phone beeps] 

  Jake Peralta : See? Someone's already looking for me. You're in big trouble, buddy.

  Geoffrey Hoytsman : [Reads]  Your e-coupon for Big Mike's Calzones expires today.

  Jake Peralta : You're damn right. And if I don't redeem that, Big Mike is gonna get real suspicious.

• Geoffrey Hoytsman : [after Jake headbutts him]  Ow! God! That's my nose! That's where I put the drugs in!