- [first lines]
- [Stephen Colbert sings the national anthem at various locations around the United States, joined by everyday people; at the beginning and end, he is at a Little League game in Central Park, flanked by an umpire and a coach]
- Jon Stewart: [removing umpire's mask and walking offscreen] Play ball!
- Stephen Colbert: [looking at umpire] ... Hey!
- Stephen Colbert: [responding to audience applause and cheers] Hello, nation! Folks - I don't know what that means - well, folks, if I knew you were gonna do that, I would have come out here *months* ago.