- Brook Soso: Is moist, like, some kind of trigger word for you?
- Janae Watson: What did you say?
- Poussey Washington: Trigger, man. She said trigger.
- Cindy Hayes: [jokingly whispering] She said nigger. She said nigger.
- Joe Caputo: What am I gonna do with you, Maureen Kukudio?
- Maureen Kukudio: Send me to bed. But, feed me first then, send me to bed.
- Joe Caputo: You ran away.
- Maureen Kukudio: Yeah, everyone ran away.
- Joe Caputo: You extra ran away.
- Angie Rice: He got a big dick?
- Lorna Morello: Well, "Italian" don't rhyme with "stallion" for nothing. Although, I have always been very tight. I mean, even when I was doing his semi-regular with a guy who used to put his shoe up there.
- Gina Murphy: Excuse me?
- Lorna Morello: Oh! It wasn't the shoe he wore on his foot. It was a new shoe. We called it our special doin'-it shoe. It was a loafer. We was in Catholic school.
- Cindy Hayes: But we *sure* as shit can be as racist as everybody else, cuz this's america. Land of the free, home of the racist.
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: I... ate... lead.
- Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: Girl, we've all eaten lead. That's probably why half of us are in here.
- Frieda: I'd know better than to waste my time diggin one six-foot hole, when I could dig six one-foot holes. That's just murder math.
- Lolly Whitehill: You just gotta lie there and play dead. Act like you were having sex with an ugly dude. Have you ever had sex with a dude?
- [Luschek farts in Kaputo's cookie box and label it as Joe with a post-it]
- Judy King: And they say the art of gift giving is dead.
- [Alex and Lolly enter the greenhouse and get surprised to see Frieda there]
- Lolly Whitehill: What the fuck did you do?
- Joe Caputo: I am the warden.
- Maureen Kukudio: Really?
- Joe Caputo: A rose is a rose.
- Maureen Kukudio: I like your... sunflower.