Documentary Now! (TV Series)

The Eye Doesn't Lie (2015)

Fred Armisen: Don Lentile, Paul Lentile

Quotes 

• Don Lentile : Does anyone have any Q-tips? Because I can't believe what I'm hearing."

• Don Lentile : Me and my ex-wife, we're actually very good friends. It was a very amicable divorce. I would describe it as immediately amicable.

• Don Lentile : This cop puts a confession in front of me and it says that I killed a man. And why would I sign something like this, you know? And he says "You're gonna sign it." And I said "I'm not gonna sign anything without my realtor looking it over first."

• Don Lentile : He says "You're gonna sign it, or you're never gonna see your wife again." I said, "Guess what. I'm happily divorced for 11 years." And he said "Guess what then. You're never gonna see your kids again." I said "I don't have any kids. You know, somethings wrong with my ex-wife's uterus." I don't want to go into it in detail, but her ovaries kind of recoil back like a vacuum cleaner cord.

• Don Lentile : They kept saying to me, "Don't you have any remorse?" I said, "No!"

• Marjorie Yoder : Her testimony should have been enough to acquit Don, but as soon as she took the stand, he lit into her for the whole TV static thing again.

  Don Lentile : I said, "Oh you're gonna come to court, but you don't walk down to room 42 to check out my tv?"

• Don Lentile : They have this saying that bad things happen to good people, and, you know, if that's true then I must be some kind of a Saint.

• Don Lentile : They said "are you a threat?" I said "you bet I'm a threat! To everybody! Watch it!"

• Don Lentile : Someone said to me "would you do it again?" I said, "I don't know what you're talking about, but I would do it a million times again. To you. To anybody."