- Scanlan: Am I currently being beaten by a whore dwarf right now?
- Dungeon Master: Make a constitution check.
- Vex'ahlia: We're gonna try to check out what it looks like, see what the guards are like.
- Vax'ildan: Yeah, we'll pretend to take a stroll, pose as a married couple.
- Vex'ahlia: Ew, no.
- Vax'ildan: Just for the purposes of sneaking around the house.
- Vex'ahlia: How about we pose as brother and sister, creepy?
- Vax'ildan: You come on to every human, orc, and half-elf in the entire kingdom, but pretending to be my wife for 30 minutes is too much?
- Vex'ahlia: Yes, it's disgusting, so no.
- Vax'ildan: You're probably right.
- Scanlan: May I make a request that you kill them anyway?
- Grog: It's like playing croquet at this point, so yes.
- Dungeon Master: Grog, it's your turn.
- Grog: I would like to rage, and I would like to move to the right of all those stinking goblins!
- Dungeon Master: Right over here?
- Grog: Well, a little more to the right. A little more. Yeah, keep going. All the way, flanking it, yeah, yeah... and then I would like to give him the cleanest shave possible.
- Vex'ahlia: Look at that one with the carving, it's amazing!
- Vax'ildan: The architecture is divine.
- Vex'ahlia: Divine!
- Scanlan: They're posing as the Howell's?
- Dungeon Master: [In Thurston Howell voice] The marble texture on this is gorgeous!
- Dungeon Master: Look, we're letting you off this once, but if you so much as spit in the direction of any other dwarf in this city, we're gonna bury you so far underneath the dungeon, you won't see the light of day again until the day you rot. You hear me dragonborn?
- Tiberius: I mean, yes. My hearing is perfectly fine.
- Vax'ildan: As you can see, we've brought one of your citizens with us to show us a tour of the city.
- Dungeon Master: Citizen? I haven't seen you about, what's your name.
- Tiberius: Oh, my name is Tiberius Kraghammer.
- Scanlan: Like Johnny New York. We're in Kraghammer. Johnny New York.