- Jennifer Aniston: So Courtney, I hear you have a big date tonight.
- Courteney Cox: What? No, I don't have a date.
- Jennifer Aniston: You do now... with this espresso maker.
- [clobbers Courtney with the espresso maker]
- Mills Lane: [to Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan] OK gentlemen, you're both from the past, but only one of you has a future.
- Stone Cold Steve Austin: Gandhi apparently renounced his policy of non-violence for a policy of whoop-ass.
- Mahatma Gandhi: So you want a piece of Gandhi, huh?