- Linda Martin: What's bothering you right now?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well... right now I'm experiencing a very odd feeling. It's - it's like a fat man sitting on my chest. But not in a fun way.
- Chloe Decker: You're really in therapy?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Why is that so surprising?
- Chloe Decker: You're the least reflective person I know.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I have layers. I'm like an onion. An irresistible one.
- Lucifer Morningstar: You're supposed to be on my side, you know.
- Linda Martin: No. I'm supposed to help you process your emotions so you can deal with them constructively.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Yes, by being on my side and realizing that I'm right.
- Chloe Decker: Unis found Sandy Shaw in her car in a parking structure.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, well, I hope our case didn't ruin your kissy-time with Dan.
- Chloe Decker: What is with your recent obsession with my love life?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Obsession?
- [laughs]
- Lucifer Morningstar: That's awfully defensive. Probably indicates deeper issues, wouldn't you say?
- Linda Martin: I agree. Why are you so defensive, Lucifer?
- Chloe Decker: Good question!
- Lucifer Morningstar: Et tu, Doctor?
- Linda Martin: Lucifer, you asked me to analyze the situation.
- Lucifer Morningstar: No, I asked you to help figure out what's wrong with her.
- [pointing at Decker]
- Chloe Decker: Did you now?
- Linda Martin: Nothing's wrong with her. She's a woman balancing a lot on her plate, and, as far as I can tell, doing a fantastic job.
- Chloe Decker: Why, thank you. You're right, Lucifer, she's amazing.
- Lucifer Morningstar: No, she's verbal Ebola. Where's the button to put the glass up?
- Chloe Decker: [scoffs] This isn't a limo, Lucifer. And, Dr. Linda, you should really join us more often.
- Lucifer Morningstar: [scoff, sighs] Getting double teamed is usually much more fun than this.
- Chloe Decker: Mmm. Gross.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Maze! You haven't wished me happy birthday.
- Mazikeen: The Devil doesn't have a birthday.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, I do now. I burned my wings. I feel reborn.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I just learned the strangest thing. Spoiler alert, Amenadiel found Dr. Linda. He was an angel on her shoulder, trying to control me. I wonder how my dear, angelic brother got such a wickedly clever idea.
- Mazikeen: I did it to protect you.
- Dan Espinoza: Trixie's finally down.
- Chloe Decker: She conned you into reading the book about the sneezing panda, didn't she?
- Dan Espinoza: Five times.