The Muppets. (TV Series)

Hostile Makeover (2015)

Steve Whitmire: Kermit the Frog, Rizzo the Rat, Beaker, Statler, The Newsman, Lips

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kermit the Frog : We've created a color code alert system to track Piggy's moods. Green, she's calm, but we've never been at green. Yellow, she's in tears. Orange, *I'm* in tears. And with a code red, if she locks eyes with you, it's already too late!

• Scooter : [terrified]  We got a big problem with Piggy! She's...

  Kermit the Frog : Scooter, Scooter, Scooter! Listen, relax. We talked about overreacting to things.

  Uncle Deadly : It's a code red.

  Kermit the Frog : [freaking out; to the other Muppets]  Code red! Code red! This is not a drill!

  [the Muppets are driven into a frenzy] 

• Fozzie Bear : Hey, guys! You're not gonna believe this. I just got an e-vite to a party at Jay Leno's house!

  Gonzo : Oh, I get those spam e-mails all the time. You know, from my "mother" who's "stuck overseas," "needs money." You just delete them.

  Kermit the Frog : Uh, Gonzo, isn't your mother on a South American cruise?

  Gonzo : Yeah, and I'm a little worried. I haven't heard from her in a while.

• [a frustrated Kermit drives his golf cart around the studio lot really fast and almost runs into Laurence Fishburne] 

  Laurence Fishburne : Hey!

  Kermit the Frog : Oh, oh, oh my goodness!

  Laurence Fishburne : Watch where you're going, frog!

  Kermit the Frog : I'm sorry, Laurence! Uh, uh... Hey, hey, when are you going to come to the show?

  Laurence Fishburne : Well, if it keeps on sucking the way it did last night - NEVER!

  [leaves] 

  Kermit the Frog : Good to see you, too.

• Laurence Fishburne : Hey, Kermit?

  Kermit the Frog : Yeah?

  Laurence Fishburne : I just want to say I'm sorry about what I said about your show sucking.

  Kermit the Frog : Yeah?

  Laurence Fishburne : I just had a really rough night.

  Kermit the Frog : Oh, I'm sorry. What happened?

  Laurence Fishburne : I watched your show - AND IT SUCKED!

  [laughs as he leaves again] 

• Kermit the Frog : Where's Piggy?

  Josh Groban : Oh, she's in the middle of getting a hot stone massage right now. Can I help you?

  Kermit the Frog : [seeing Piggy getting the massage Groban was talking about]  Piggy? I got to talk to her.

  Josh Groban : [blocking Kermit's path]  Anything you need to say to my lady, you can say to me.

  Kermit the Frog : Okay, then, fine. The guy you're dating is an absolute nightmare, and you got to get rid of him.

  Josh Groban : Oh yeah? Well, you're a little insecure swamp rat whom nobody's talking about! That was her response to you, not mine. I think you're terrific.

  Kermit the Frog : Will you stop trying to turn Piggy into you?

  Josh Groban : Wouldn't the world be a better place if everybody was a little more like me?

• [Kermit, Scooter, and Uncle Deadly are hiding under a desk during Miss Piggy's tirade] 

  Miss Piggy : [shouting]  Who replaced my thick Sharpies with fine-tipped Sharpies? I'm signing autographs, not writing the Bible on a grain of rice!

  Kermit the Frog : I have a feeling this isn't about pen thickness.

  Uncle Deadly : So, I was fitting Piggy for a new dress...

  Kermit the Frog : Oh, no, no. You forgot to cut out the tag? She knows her size?

  Uncle Deadly : Oh please. I've woven such a cocoon of lies, she doesn't know her size, weight, or even how old she is.

  Miss Piggy : [still shouting]  Look at this nonsense: pencils, highlighters, a BACKSCRATCHER? If you're itchy, take care of it at home!

  Kermit the Frog : What is going on?

  Scooter : The People's Choice Awards are coming up and she doesn't have a date.

  Uncle Deadly : Shocking. She seems like such pleasant company.

  [Kermit, Scooter, and Uncle Deadly laugh] 

  Miss Piggy : [still shouting]  How dare you try to calm me down with cake! Gimme that cake!