- Amy Farrah Fowler: If you don't mind me asking, why did you and your wife split up?
- Dave: Oh, you know how it is. We wanted different things. I wanted children, and she wanted a pastry chef named Jean-Philippe.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Oh, I'm, I'm so sorry.
- Dave: Ah, that's fine. That's why I left England. It reminded me too much of her - cold, gloomy and easily accessed by a Frenchman through a tunnel.
- Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me, no one does a better job pretending to be a person than I do. Siri comes close, but I know more jokes.
- Raj Koothrappali: How could you send her away?
- Sheldon Cooper: She was late. And she found atomic spectroscopy boring. I wouldn't coitus her with *your* genitals.
- Raj Koothrappali: Maybe you don't want someone exactly like you. You know what they say: opposites attract.
- Sheldon Cooper: By that logic, I should be with someone short, dull and needy. Not to cast aspersions, but I can't shake a stick around here without hitting that.
- Sheldon: That's it! The Sheldon Cooper Girlfriend Challenge is officially alive.
- Howard Wolowitz: Congratulations!
- Raj Koothrappali: This is exciting.
- Sheldon: Right now, somewhere, a woman is dividing the atomic weight of the best noble gas by the number of colors in the oldest national flag still in use!
- Howard Wolowitz: Then using that number as the average speed to calculate the travel time from Mordor to the Shire!
- Sheldon: And taking her first step towards a lifetime of laughter, love and, best of all, rules.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
- Penny Hofstadter: No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain just popped out of my shirt.
- [last lines]
- Dave: Thanks for driving me home.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: No problem. I'm really sorry about your car.
- Dave: Oh, it's all right. If you're free next weekend, I'd like to take you out again.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Um, listen, you're a really nice guy, but I just, I don't think this is working out.
- Dave: Oh. OK.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm, I'm really sorry.
- Dave: Aif- At least the same woman that rejected Sheldon Cooper rejected me.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: There you go, huh!
- Dave: If I ever do meet him, we'll have that in common.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sure, huh.
- Dave: And he's kissed you, and I've kissed you, so if you think about it...
- Amy Farrah Fowler: OK, get out.
- Penny Hofstadter: Damn, you're sneaky.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Yeah, but I'm little so it's adorable.
- Sheldon Cooper: That's a lot of carbohydrates for a man on the prowl. But you eat it; you're married; it doesn't matter what you look like.
- Penny Hofstadter: Don't take advice from a man who threw his shoe at a crow.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I don't understand why we're leaving so early for the movie.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, I forgot to tell you. We're gonna meet up with Bernadette to spy on Amy and her date.
- Leonard Hofstadter: What? I don't want to do that!
- Penny Hofstadter: What, and you think I want to see a documentary about aluminum can recycling?
- Leonard Hofstadter: This is the movie that Big Soda doesn't want you to see.
- Penny Hofstadter: No, it's the movie your wife doesn't want you to see.
- Dave: You know, I once drove 500 miles to hear him speak at Stanford.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I have a DVD of that lecture.
- Dave: Really? Wasn't it great?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Not as a Valentine's present, no.
- Dave: Well next time you watch it, I'm the bloke who asked the question that he said was stupid and obvious. It was the nicest thing he said to anyone there,
- Sheldon Cooper: I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum. Sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness.
- Raj Koothrappali: You're not wrong about Fruit Stripe. I- I was always a Hubba Bubba man.
- Howard Wolowitz: Hubba Bubba over Double Bubble? You're crazy.
- Raj Koothrappali: Hey, the jaw wants what it wants!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Are you done yet? I have to go to the bathroom.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [Hands Leonard a bottle] Right here.
- Penny Hofstadter: So where's tall, British Dave taking you?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Over for some tea and basketball?
- [first lines]
- Penny Hofstadter: I think it's so adorable you're making Sheldon breakfast.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Mm, he's having a rough time. Amy broke his heart. The DVR cut off the last minute of Dr. Who. That crow followed him home.
- Penny Hofstadter: Aren't you worried you're making french toast on oatmeal day?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Ah, well, what's this? A pot of oatmeal, or, thanks to you, what I will now call gloatmeal.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, I don't want credit for that.