- Erlich Bachman: Shuttering a company in the tech world is almost a rite of passage, like herpes simplex one. At first, it's ugly and embarrassing and you're disgusted by your own dick.
- Richard Hendricks: Wait, so she lied? Why would she lie about using the beta?
- Bertram Gilfoyle: Yeah, why would Dinesh lie about having friends? Why would Tara lie to me about fucking other guys when we have a totally open and hedonistic relationship that allows for behavior like that? Because people like to lie, Richard. It's a war of all against all. The history of humanity is a book written in blood. We're all just animals in a pit.
- Donald 'Jared' Dunn: Well, people do create imaginary friends to meet their emotional needs. When I was little, I used to pretend that I shared a room with Harriet Tubman and we were always planning our big escape.