The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Sales Call Sublimation (2016)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : Good news gentlemen! Amy's at a conference this weekend, which means I'm available to be entertained. As today's youth might put it, who wants to get their Sheld-on?
Howard Wolowitz : Bernie and I are getting the house ready for the remodel. We could always use an extra pair of hands.
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, that sounds awful. Raj?
Raj Koothrappali : I've got time booked in the telescope room all weekend, scanning for rogue planets. You're more than welcome to join me.
Sheldon Cooper : That's the one to beat! Leonard?
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, if anything, I'm trying to get my Sheld-off.
Sheldon Cooper : Well then, it looks like we have a winner. Congratulations.
Raj Koothrappali : Well, I should warn you, it's just looking at data for hours and hours on a computer screen.
Sheldon Cooper : Stop selling it kid, you won.
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[first lines]
Sheldon Cooper : I'm glad to see you made it safely. How's your hotel?
Amy Farrah Fowler : [via computer] It's not the best Best Western I've been to, but let's say it's... the third best Best Western I've been to.
Sheldon Cooper : I know how you feel. The Best Buy by my house is only the third best Best Buy. They have the best buys, but having the best buys isn't the only thing that makes a Best Buy the best Best Buy.
Amy Farrah Fowler : What makes a best Best Buy the best Best Buy?
Sheldon Cooper : Hmm, that's a great question. I like when they're next to a Chipotle.
Amy Farrah Fowler : OK; well, I should unpack.
Sheldon Cooper : All right. Enjoy the neurobiology conference.
Amy Farrah Fowler : I will. I... wish you were here.
Sheldon Cooper : At a neurobiology confere- what a mean thing to say!
Amy Farrah Fowler : OK, I'm glad you're *not* here?
Sheldon Cooper : Aw, you always know just what to say after I tell you what to say.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Good-bye, Sheldon
Sheldon Cooper : Bye.
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Raj Koothrappali : How did you find that?
Sheldon Cooper : It wasn't difficult. You know how when you see prime numbers they appear red but when they're twin primes they're pink and smell like gasoline?
Raj Koothrappali : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Huh, I guess I'm a special boy. You know, sometimes when a boy is special he gets a Fudgsicle. Which, by the way, tastes like the speed of light.
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Raj Koothrappali : So I was thinking, maybe we can come up with a name for the asteroid by combining our names.
Sheldon Cooper : That's a great idea. I've got it! We'll call it Cooper.
Raj Koothrappali : How is that both our names?
Sheldon Cooper : "Koo" from Koothrappali and "per" from Cooper.
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah, so it's, like, Kooper with a "K"?
Sheldon Cooper : Nah, you're right, that's dumb.
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Sheldon Cooper : What are you doing?
Raj Koothrappali : Uh, making sure the telescope's camera is white field balanced.
Sheldon Cooper : Oh.
[pasue]
Sheldon Cooper : What are you doing now?
Raj Koothrappali : Still making sure the telescope's camera is white field balanced.
Sheldon Cooper : Ah, I see.
[pause]
Sheldon Cooper : How about now?
Raj Koothrappali : Now I'm making sure the telescope's camera is white field balanced and wishing you had a coloring book.
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Raj Koothrappali : There's about six months of data on this hard drive. Why don't you go through it and see if you can spot any patterns or anomalies?
Sheldon Cooper : I'm on it. Hey, look at that: an Indian guy outsourcing a computer job to a white fellow.
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Sheldon Cooper : I can be helpful; give me something to do. You know, my father took me to work once, and in ten minutes I figured out who'd been stealing from the cash register. It was my father. Dad lost his job, but Mr. Hinckley gave me a Fudgsicle.
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Raj Koothrappali : A medium-sized asteroid.
Sheldon Cooper : That's it? How common. That's the chicken fingers on the menu of space.
Raj Koothrappali : I kind of like chicken fingers.
Sheldon Cooper : Yeah, me too. I was just stuck for a metaphor.
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Sheldon Cooper : Come on, Daddy needs a liveable planet he can rule with an iron fist.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [on how to name a discovered asteroid] You know what'd be nice? Name it after your girlfriends. Show them how much you care.
Raj Koothrappali : That is a great idea!
Sheldon Cooper : It's perfect. It appears romantic, but it's really just a rock in space that gets me out of Valentine's Day forever.