Scream Queens (TV Series)
Handidates (2016)
Billie Lourd: Chanel #3
Photos
Quotes
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[Sheila is suffering from spontaneous orgasms]
Sheila Baumgartner : I am begging you, please make it stop! I'll do anything! Remove my vagina, I don't care!
Chanel #3 : Wait, can you actually do that? How do you remove negative space?
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Chanel Oberlin : Alright, let's get this body down to the meat locker.
Chanel #3 : Last time we tried to hide a lot of bodies in a meat locker, like, every single one of them got stolen.
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Chanel #3 : Yoga is just stretching for douchebags.
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[the operating room is splattered in gore]
Chanel #3 : Who was operating in here, anyway?
Dr. Cassidy Cascade : That Chad Radwell guy was butchering cadavers, for some reason. He said he was practicing for surgery, but mainly he was just chopping off hands and saying the F-word a lot.
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Chanel #3 : There's something I need to confide in you, a secret no one knows. I've never had an orgasm. I didn't even know what there were until recently. I thought they were just moans you did to let the other person know to roll off of you, like an "I'm ready for you to stop" alarm.
Dr. Cassidy Cascade : That's terrible. Orgasms are pretty much the only thing that everyone in the world agrees are great... Well, until Hamilton came along!
Chanel #3 : It's so original, right?
Dr. Cassidy Cascade : Oh, reinvented theater! I mean, a rap musical about the founding fathers? Changed the world.
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Chanel #3 : I am alive but I'm not living. And if it was possible for me to feel anything, I would totally be sobbing right now.
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Dr. Cassidy Cascade : I'm dead.
Chanel #3 : You mean, like, in trouble?
Dr. Cassidy Cascade : No, like dead. Like, actually dead.
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Chanel #3 : I've seen so much death and tragedy and had so much loss in my life that it's like I'm encased in steel.
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Chanel #3 : What's with the old exercise video?
Hester Ulrich : Sweatin' to the Oldies 2. When you leave, they'll turn the volume way up. The warden does enjoy her petty torments.
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Dr. Cassidy Cascade : I may be dead but you are not. Please give me the chance to help you see that.
[Cassidy kisses Chanel #3]
Chanel #3 : Wow, your lips are super-cold.
Dr. Cassidy Cascade : I told you. I'm dead.