Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (TV Series)

Assaulting Reality (2016)

Larisa Oleynik: Lizzie Bauer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lizzie Bauer : Do you have any idea what reality TV is like? Non-union crew working nineteen-hour days with a cast of rum-drunk 20-somethings who've all been locked in together for weeks.

• Lizzie Bauer : [to Jeffrey and Regina]  You lied to the police. You made Melanie think that she was crazy.

  Jeffrey Prince : You did the exact same thing. You want to be an exec? Get used to this. What, did you think we'd go on TV and say you came to us about a rape and we told you how to make it go away?

  Lizzie Bauer : That's what happened.

  Regina Prince : Lizzie, how long have you been working on this show? It doesn't matter what happened, just what the audience thinks happened.

• Lizzie Bauer : [to Rollins and Carisi]  Hi, there. Lizzie Bauer, co-producer. How can I help the NYPD?

  Dominick Carisi, Jr. : Well, we're following up on the accusation Melanie made on the air last night.

  Lizzie Bauer : Of course. We've been getting calls about it too, but you know nothing happened, right? Our show is heavily scripted.

  Amanda Rollins : Okay, well, we still need to speak to Melanie.

  Lizzie Bauer : Um, our executive producers are talking to the network. Can I ask you to wait until they get here?

  Amanda Rollins : No.

  Lizzie Bauer : Melanie's close to the final round. I... I talked to her last night. If she'd wanted the police involved, we definitely would have made that happen.

  Dominick Carisi, Jr. : We need to hear that from her.

• Lizzie Bauer : So sorry you had to waste a trip.

  Dominick Carisi, Jr. : No, not really. Detective Rollins is going to take Melanie to the hospital to get a rape kit done.

  Lizzie Bauer : No, wait, Melanie can't go. She has a shoot. The ladies dine and dish.

  Dominick Carisi, Jr. : Does she? That mean that the guys aren't working then, right? That's good, because I need to talk to Ryan.

  Lizzie Bauer : Hang on. This is a closed set.

  Dominick Carisi, Jr. : No, not anymore, it's not.

• John Valentine : Let me give you lesson number one from the John Valentine school of reality hosting: you stand on your mark, you say the words, you get paid, that's it.

  Lizzie Bauer : Thank you, John. The detectives are here on official police business.

  John Valentine : Come on, Lizzie. About Melanie crying rape? Please, she signed a waiver. Lesson number two: if it's a reality show, there is no reality.

• Graham Turco : [about Melanie]  She didn't say no. She didn't tell me to stop. Tell them, Lizzie. I told you about it the next day.

  Lizzie Bauer : Graham, it's over.

  Graham Turco : You interviewed me the next morning.

  Lizzie Bauer : You said that you went to Melanie as a friend and then it turned into something more.

  Graham Turco : And you said everything would be fine.

  Lizzie Bauer : Because I didn't know that you had raped her!

  Jeffrey Prince : Lizzie, let it go. You can take him out of here, officers.

  Olivia Benson : Hold on, are you filming this?

  Odafin Tutuola : [as he puts his hand up, covering up the camera lens]  Get this camera out of here.

  Jeffrey Prince : Legally, we're within our rights to film the police.

  Olivia Benson : [nods]  Okay, Detective Tutuola, not our concern.

• Dominick Carisi, Jr. : The Princes will plead guilty to one count of tampering with physical evidence. It's a felony.

  Lizzie Bauer : They won't do time.

  Amanda Rollins : Probably not, they're rich.

  Dominick Carisi, Jr. : But they'll never work in TV again.

  Lizzie Bauer : And yet, I can guarantee you, "Heart's Desire" will go on.

  Amanda Rollins : In a way, though, you're lucky that they threw you under the bus. Got you to cooperate. You hadn't done that, you'd still be on the hook.

  Lizzie Bauer : Great, so I avoid a felony charge. I can't wait to put it on my resume. Sorry. The show brought out the worst in me and I learned to bring out the worst in those girls. Just so you know, I really was asleep when she was raped. I swear.

  Amanda Rollins : We believe you.

  Lizzie Bauer : Melanie won't. How does she get over this?