Castle (TV Series)

Death Wish (2016)

Stana Katic: Kate Beckett

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Quotes 

• Kevin Ryan : I could really use a genie right now. I would wish that my kid was already born and sleeping through the night.

  Javier Esposito : Bro, fatherhood has made you so damn boring. If I had a wish, I'd use it to become the top MMA fighter in the world, and take home a different hot chick every single night.

  Kevin Ryan : Okay, now that I think about it... I would wish... that I could be a Broadway star. Play Jean Valjean in front of sold-out crowds, win a bunch of Tonys.

  Javier Esposito : You'd wish to wear tights and sing showtunes for a living?

  Kevin Ryan : You'd wish to wear Speedos and grapple sweaty men for a living?

  Javier Esposito : And hook up with a different hot chick every single night. Don't forget that part.

  Kate Beckett : [approaching]  You know what I wish? That my detectives would actually get some work done for a living. While the two of you were on Fantasy Island, *I* found a lead.

• Kate Beckett : Hey, Ryan and Espo have caught a homicide. Do you want to join them?

  Richard Castle : Why? Got a crime scene right here. My mother just killed the mood.

• [Ryan and Espo are in the elevator about to leave] 

  Kate Beckett : If you find that lamp and Castle's not there, I'm never gonna hear the end of it.

  Javier Esposito : We'll have him meet us there.

  Kate Beckett : Okay, great.

  [elevator starts to close] 

  Kate Beckett : Oh... Can you just... Can you make sure that he gets dibs on the first rub, please?

  Kevin Ryan : Mm-hmm.

  Javier Esposito : Mm-hmm.

  Kate Beckett : Good. Thanks. I owe you.

  [elevator doors close, to herself] 

  Kate Beckett : Can't believe I said that.

• Kate Beckett : So, if you see that, uh, genie again, you mind telling her I said thank you?

  Richard Castle : Oh, I think I'm all done with genies.

  Kate Beckett : What? Why the change of heart?

  Richard Castle : Well, because of you, of course.

  Kate Beckett : Oh, really? So, after eight years, some of my common sense has finally rubbed off on you.

  Richard Castle : No, no, no, no. Nothing like that. Um... I have no need for genies, mainly because I already have everything I could ever wish for.

  Kate Beckett : I... Right back at you, handsome.

  [they kiss] 

  Kate Beckett : Oh, wait, um... So, you wouldn't even wish for a working lightsaber?

  Richard Castle : [thinking for a moment]  Nope.

  Kate Beckett : Okay, transporter? Like the ones in "Star Trek"? You would never have to fly again.

  Richard Castle : I like flying.

  Kate Beckett : Huh... Time machine?

  Richard Castle : Only to go back and fall in love with you all over again.

  Kate Beckett : Wow. That was a good answer.

  Richard Castle : I know, right?

• [suggestively, as Castle cleans up a mess in the kitchen] 

  Kate Beckett : You know, once you clean that up, maybe we could go for a, um, round... three?

  [she takes off her kimono, revealing she's wearing a sexy negligee] 

  Richard Castle : Whoa... You do not have to tell me twice. Or should I say thrice?

  [they move in to kiss when the front door opens; Beckett rushes to cover up and hides behind Castle] 

  Martha Rodgers : Good morning, my darlings!

  Richard Castle : Mother, I really wish you would call before you came over.

  Martha Rodgers : Well, I don't want to risk interrupting you two love birds in the middle of you-know-what. And it looks like I have interrupted you in the middle of you-know-what. And with a melon? My, my. I'm not judging, but, room temperature.

• Javier Esposito : *So*, I opened Lars' safe-deposit box and found 400 G's in cash. Gots to be drug money. Beat that.

  Kevin Ryan : Easy. I got Lars' encrypted laptop from Mark, found out what he was smuggling, and it wasn't drugs.

  Javier Esposito : What?

  Richard Castle : No... Lars wasn't a drug dealer... he was a tomb raider. Ryan, can you zoom in on that, please?

  [Ryan zooms in on a picture] 

  Richard Castle : I've seen that symbol... Yes, um... At Lars' apartment. You remember there was all those books on "1001 Arabian Nights"? I think that symbol was on one of the books. Yes. Here it is... The Seal of Solomon.

  [reading] 

  Richard Castle : "The Seal of Solomon was believed to be imbued with mystical *powers*, including the ability to seal genies into lamps. In the tale of 'Aladdin and the Magic Lamp', Aladdin finds a lamp containing a genie in a cave. Many people believe this cave was actually King Solomon's tomb, which is most likely located near the border of Syria and Turkey." You guys, you know what this means?

  Kate Beckett : [under her breath]  Oh. Please, no.

  Richard Castle : Come on. The money, the Porsche. Lars wished for them, and his wishes were granted...

  Kate Beckett : And here we go.

  Richard Castle : ...by a genie... Lars found Aladdin's lamp!

• [going to question Genevieve, Castle rushes ahead and locks Beckett out of the interrogation room] 

  Richard Castle : You may have everyone else fooled, but not me.

  Kate Beckett : [from outside]  Castle, let me in.

  Richard Castle : I am your master. I command you to tell me the truth.

  Kate Beckett : Castle!

  Richard Castle : Are you a genie or not?

  Genevieve : Can you let her in? Because you're seriously weirding me out.

  Richard Castle : I'm gonna take that as a maybe.

  [unlocks the door] 

  Kate Beckett : I'd apologize, but his behavior is the least of your worries. You are accused of two homicides and connected to the theft and trafficking of millions of dollars in antiquities. So, your best bet is to start talking.

  Genevieve : Look, I didn't kill anyone. And I was trying to keep the relics from falling into the wrong hands. And I would've, too, if I hadn't had to save your... reality-challenged husband.

  Richard Castle : I prefer "fantasy-augmented."

• [having a romantic moment with Beckett interrupted] 

  Richard Castle : Mother, what- what is it you want?

  Martha Rodgers : I want for my son to grant me a very simple wish. Now, it seems that my publisher says that for my self-help book to make the bestseller list, I need a celebrity endorsement. And not just any celebrity endorsement. *The* endorsement of endorsements.

  Richard Castle : Mother, I would be happy to write something for your book.

  Martha Rodgers : Oprah... I need Oprah.

  Kate Beckett : Uh, do you even know Oprah?

  Richard Castle : No, I do not.

  Martha Rodgers : Well, you must know someone who knows Oprah.

  Richard Castle : If I promise to try, will you leave?

  Martha Rodgers : Poof! I am gone.

  [to Beckett] 

  Martha Rodgers : Oh, you know, it's so funny, darling, 'cause I have that same negligee, but, of course, it's in a little tiger print. So it's...

  [she pantomimes claws and snickers] 

  Martha Rodgers : Well, resume your lovemaking, darling.

• Richard Castle : So, what do you think Lars was smuggling?

  Kate Beckett : Well, he was in Turkey, which is the heroin pipeline from Afghanistan.

  Richard Castle : Hmm. No. Wasn't drugs.

  Kate Beckett : Why not?

  Richard Castle : Because Lars was beheaded by a scimitar. Well, the storyteller inside me craves an explanation far more...

  Kate Beckett : Farfetched?

  Richard Castle : Yeah.

  Kate Beckett : Pirate's booty. Cold fusion. Alien cadavers.

  Richard Castle : No, those are all ridiculous theories.

• Kate Beckett : Hey, Castle, um, what was the name of that woman that you interviewed? Lars' neighbor.

  Richard Castle : I didn't get her name.

  Kate Beckett : I think my unis forgot to put her statement in this file. I swear, most of my time is spent checking people's paperwork.

  Richard Castle : You're suffering from a little buyer's remorse. Yeah, it's one of life's cruel jokes. You get exactly what you wished for, only to find that it wasn't what you wanted at all.

  Kate Beckett : No, I love being a captain. It's just sometimes it feels like I'm more of a kindergarten teacher.

  [Ryan and Esposito enter, bickering] 

  Javier Esposito : I'm a sergeant, Kevin.

  Kevin Ryan : Hey!

  Javier Esposito : I just broke this case wide open.

  Kevin Ryan : Actually, I did. So, I'll go first.

  Javier Esposito : No, I think I'll go first. Mine's bigger than yours.

  Kevin Ryan : Yeah, you wish, pal.

  Kate Beckett : Guys, play nice. Indoor voices. Espo goes first.

  Javier Esposito : See? She knows.

• Kate Beckett : The only thing magical about that lamp is the millions of dollars that private collectors are willing to pay for it.

  Kevin Ryan : Come on, Castle, you don't really believe in genies, do you?

  Richard Castle : I *believe* that until I hear a more viable theory as to where Lars got all that money, that this is the best theory I've got.

  Javier Esposito : So, a genie is your best explanation?

  Kate Beckett : Not that Lars sold one of the items in Turkey before smuggling the rest back here?

  Richard Castle : Okay, that's a... pretty good theory.

  Kevin Ryan : Or that Lars double-crossed his partner, and that's probably where all the cash came from?

  Richard Castle : Fine, that's a good theory, too.

  Kate Beckett : No, no, no. That's- That's better than good. It explains why the killer tortured him. If it was his partner, then he would've wanted to find out what happened to the antiquities.

• Kate Beckett : What do you got there?

  Richard Castle : The woman who wrote this book, Dr. Marion Baker, she's a professor of Middle Eastern literature at Hudson University. We should go talk to her. Knowing more about the lamp will help us figure out why Lars was killed for it.

  Kate Beckett : You just want to find out more about genies and wishes.

  Richard Castle : Well, yeah.

  Kate Beckett : Fine. Go ahead. Meet with Dr. Baker. Maybe she can talk some sense into you.

  Richard Castle : Your wish is my command.

  [he kisses her on the cheek] 

  Richard Castle : [whispers, while waving hands]  Smoke. And he's gone.

  [seriously] 

  Richard Castle : Okay, now I'm gone.

• Richard Castle : I see what's happening here. The, uh, wandering ronin genie is angry with Harlan for killing her master. That's why she prevented him from finding the lamp.

  Kate Beckett : Yeah, Castle, the man is either delusional or he's laying the groundwork for some BS insanity plea. What's your excuse?

• [Ryan and Esposito in the interrogation room] 

  Kevin Ryan : That explains the cash that we found in Lars' safe-deposit box.

  Kate Beckett : Right, but how the hell did Lars get his hands on 400,000 bucks?

  [in the observation room Castle is about to tell Beckett] 

  Kate Beckett : Don't... Don't say that he wished for it. He probably got the money from the financier. Wait a minute, but the one thing that doesn't make sense is if Lars already had the extortion money, then why did the shipper kill him?

  [Castle starts to answer] 

  Kate Beckett : Uh, don't... Do not say that it was to gain control of the genie.

  Richard Castle : I wasn't gonna.

  [sees her expression] 

  Richard Castle : Okay, I was, but there is another possibility. Maybe the shipper kept the treasure for himself.

  Kate Beckett : Well, then why torture Lars? I mean, what information could he possibly want if he already had the artifacts?

• Kate Beckett : Hey, are you okay?

  Richard Castle : No. I've been doing some digging into that mystery blonde.

  Kate Beckett : Uh... You mean the reporter?

  Richard Castle : She is no more a reporter than she was Lars' neighbor.

  Kate Beckett : What? She lied to you again?

  Richard Castle : [handing over his tablet]  This is the real Lindsay Dillon, a 65-year-old black woman living in Tallahassee.

  Kate Beckett : Oh. So, what's this blonde's angle?

  Richard Castle : I wish I knew. She lies out of one side of her mouth, helps with the investigation out of the other. It just doesn't make any sense.

  Kate Beckett : Well, I mean, for all we know, she could be working with the killer, trying to steer us in the wrong direction.

  Richard Castle : Twice, she just vanished on me... Vanished on me.

  Kate Beckett : Castle?

  Richard Castle : Appearing and disappearing at will. Being both deceptive and helpful. The mystery blonde is Lars' ronin genie! Wandering the earth, waiting for someone to find her lamp. She's chosen to appear to me.

  Kate Beckett : [taking his glass of Scotch]  That's it, I'm cutting you off.

  Richard Castle : No, no, no, no. She's- She's giving me clues, Beckett. She wants *me* to find the lamp. I think she wants me to be her new master.

  Kate Beckett : And you know what I think? You need to call me the next time you see her, so I can question her.

  Richard Castle : I've got to come up with a wish list. Oh, my God, I have so many! How am I gonna whittle it down to three?

  Kate Beckett : That's funny, I just have one.

  Richard Castle : What's that?

  Kate Beckett : That my man would stop talking about being some skeezy blonde's master and would start talking about taking... his wife to bed.

  Richard Castle : Oh. Well... I don't need a genie to grant that wish.