- Penny Hofstadter: You really want me to pick up your mother all by myself?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I just feel like it would be a good chance for you to bond.
- Penny Hofstadter: Or a way for you to avoid her?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I don't know what he is putting on those cards, but you are smarter than ever.
- [first lines]
- Penny Hofstadter: [Sheldon holds up a flash card] Helium.
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes.
- [Penny holds up a picture flash card]
- Sheldon Cooper: Taylor Swift.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yes.
- [Sheldon holds up another card]
- Penny Hofstadter: Pi.
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes.
- [Penny holds up another picture]
- Sheldon Cooper: Kardashian.
- Penny Hofstadter: More specific.
- Sheldon Cooper: [after a pause] Khloé?
- Penny Hofstadter: Yes!
- Sheldon Cooper: Ah! See, I remember because if it looks like Kim, it's Kim; if it looks kinda like Kim, it's Kourtney; if it looks nothing like Kim, it's Khloé.
- Penny Hofstadter: [Sheldon holds up another card] Oh, that's a venn diagram. And I remember because I thought to myself: 'Venn is he going to stop talking about this diagram?'
- [Leonard enters]
- Leonard Hofstadter: What are you guys doing?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, well, we decided to use our breakfast time to expand our respective knowledge bases.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hnh. Let me try.
- [Sheldon and Penny each hold up a card]
- Leonard Hofstadter: Atom of hydrogen; Adam of Maroon 5; mike drop.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, who is Mike Drop?
- Sheldon Cooper: Bad news. Amy's making me go shopping with her later, so... looks like none of us can go.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You do realize we're allowed to have fun without you,
- Howard Wolowitz: In fact, that's usually the trick to it.
- Stuart Bloom: [Gets into Amy's car] Hey.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: What are you doing here? You're not Sheldon.
- Stuart Bloom: I thought that might come up. Sheldon hired me to go shopping with you.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hold on. He paid you to get out of spending time with me?
- Stuart Bloom: No, it's not like that. There's a long line he'd rather stand in.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [Knock on door] Maybe it's Sheldon here to say he's sorry.
- [She opens the door, it's Stuart with a bouquet]
- Stuart Bloom: Sheldon says he's sorry.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Bernadette, I'll give you five dollars to slam the door.
- Stuart Bloom: [as the door closes] I would've done it for three!
- Penny Hofstadter: She's my mother-in-law; why can't I bond with her like that?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Amy's with Sheldon who she loves like a son. You're with her son. Who she doesn't.
- Sheldon Cooper: You need to go to the end of the line.
- Trevor: Uh, who made you line monitor?
- Sheldon Cooper: Mrs. Wuntch in fourth grade. My slogan was "A line that's straight is a line that's great."
- Trevor: [to Leonard] Is this guy for real?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Boy, I wish I could say no.
- Howard Wolowitz: [about Raj's stick chair] You look like you come with a kickstand.
- Raj Koothrappali: You can't make me feel bad.
- Howard Wolowitz: Maybe not. Leonard?
- Leonard Hofstadter: So, when the aliens brought you back, they just left the probe in?
- Penny Hofstadter: I've been trying to make a connection with you all day, and clearly I'm getting nowhere.
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Well, are you seeking a connection or just some form of validation?
- Penny Hofstadter: What I was seeking was some sort of friendship, but at this point I'll take you not insulting me to my face.
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: My intention was never to insult you.
- Penny Hofstadter: You've been doing it all day; do you even know what an insult is?
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: Well, it's not a clinical term, but one example would be your marrying my son and not inviting me or even telling me the wedding was taking place.
- Penny Hofstadter: [long pause] OK, good example!
- Stuart Bloom: Anyone else need anything before I go?
- Howard Wolowitz: I'll give you a dollar if you make fun of Raj.
- Stuart Bloom: Aw, that's mean.
- Howard Wolowitz: Five.
- Stuart Bloom: [to Raj] You look like Tigger, if Tigger looked like a jackass.
- [last lines]
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [knocks on bathroom door] Howie, you doin' OK? You've been in there a while.
- Howard Wolowitz: I'm fine. Be right out.
- Howard Wolowitz: Am I an American hero? Oh, it's a good question, Jim. Don't you think that once an astronaut leaves the planet he's a hero to all the nations of the earth?
- [toilet flushes]
- Howard Wolowitz: Okey-dokey, I think I have time for one more question.
- Howard Wolowitz: We've waited in a lot of lines together, haven't we?
- Sheldon Cooper: Remember when we camped out for the Doctor Who panel at Comic-Con?
- Raj Koothrappali: Yeah. Sleeping under the stars with other fans who love the show as much as we do.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Waking up wondering which of those fans stole our wallets.
- Stuart Bloom: Sheldon, you are the most inconsiderate person I have ever met in my entire life. Where do you get off sending me to shop with your girlfriend?
- Sheldon Cooper: I don't understand. You were happy to do this when I hired you. Why are you upset with me now?
- Stuart Bloom: I'm not upset with you, but Amy's pretty bent out of shape, so she hired me to let you have it.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hey Penny, do you want to go to the airport with me later to pick up my mother?
- Penny Hofstadter: Sure.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Thanks.
- Penny Hofstadter: No problem.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hey Penny, um, since you're already going to be at the airport, do I need to go?
- Penny Hofstadter: So if we would have asked you to come to Vegas to see us get married, you would have come?
- Dr. Beverly Hofstadter: No, I would have said you're making a huge mistake. But an invitation would have been nice.