Lucifer (TV Series)

Liar, Liar, Slutty Dress on Fire (2016)

Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ella Lopez : Good eye, Luce!

  Lucifer Morningstar : [outraged stare] 

  Ella Lopez : ...ifer.

• Chloe Decker : Oh, are you praying or-...

  Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, usually works. He must've gone for a wank or something.

• Dan Espinoza : I really don't think it's the missing woman, Lucifer. It's a little unusual for a woman to strangle someone.

  Lucifer Morningstar : But look at the size of the bruising; clearly not man hands.

  Ella Lopez : I've seen some guys with some pretty tiny lady hands.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Dan doesn't count.

• Lucifer Morningstar : [On Charlotte's prospects as an escapee]  I mean... how far can a celestial being trapped in a feeble human body for the first time get?

  Mazikeen : Well let's see: she's stupid hot, wearing my clothes, and she's got a corporate credit card.

  Lucifer Morningstar : [Stunned realization]  Bollocks...

• Chloe Decker : Ella; we have to proceed as if this missing woman is still alive, okay?

  Ella Lopez : Yeah.

  Chloe Decker : I don't want to find another body.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Trust me, you will not find another body.

  Dan Espinoza : [Enters]  I found a body!

• Lucifer Morningstar : You're gonna have to lose those clothes. They're a serious problem.

  [Charlotte starts undressing] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Taking you home, 'cause this being out in public thing obviously isn't working. And then I'm going to see my colleague.

  [Lucifer looks at his mother] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Mum!

  [looks away realizing she's standing there nude] 

  Charlotte : Yes?

  Lucifer Morningstar : You're... naked!

  Charlotte : Well you said clothes were a problem, so problem solved.

  Lucifer Morningstar : In the bloody car, will you!

  [he takes his jacket off and covers her] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : I'm going to be traumatized for eternity. Thank you very much for that.

• Charlotte : I apologize for my human form, but... at least this one has supreme hindquarters.

  Lucifer Morningstar : You're lying.

  Charlotte : No. They're quite sturdy, feel it.

  Lucifer Morningstar : I wasn't referring, nor will I ever refer, to your butt, Mother.

• Lucifer Morningstar : [Elliot's closet is full of crocs]  There's only one body part that rubber should be worn on. Not that you'd know.

• Lucifer Morningstar : [Walking right past a couple of bodyguards]  Hello chaps, just looking for the head of a big drug cartel. Is he home? Vicky?

• Lucifer Morningstar : [At a solarium, after throwing a thug through a wall full of drugs]  Oh! Oh look at that: snow storm in a tanning salon, how ironic.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Hawaiian print? The eighth deadly sin.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Perhaps we shouldn't have borrowed from Maze. Her clothing is insufficient.

  Charlotte : Yes. Half my hide is exposed. Human attire is very impractical.

• Chloe Decker : Trixie's best friend Landa got a new All-American doll, and now Trixie wants one. So what does she do? She destroys her old doll, expecting me to replace it.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Mm, impressive. But, then, I'd expect nothing less from the shrewd little minx.

• Ella Lopez : You see the bruising and the semi-circular marks on her neck?

  Chloe Decker : Strangled.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Aha. Long fingernails, which means the killer's female.

  Ella Lopez : Not necessarily. I mean, the marks aren't deep. It could just be a dude who's not serious man-groomer.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Come on. It's so obvious; your cinder-hellion had just plunged a screwdriver into the poor lad, when she was interrupted by the chambermaid, who she then snuffed out with her bare hands.

  Chloe Decker : Chambermaid? Who's the killer, Mrs. Peacock in the library with the candlestick?

• Charlotte : I want what your father took from me. I want my home back. But I know that's not possible. So I want to do what I can to be a good mother to you here, on Earth.

  Lucifer Morningstar : It's too late. You abandoned me, Mum. You just stood by and watched as I was cast out. Thrown into Hell and vilified for all eternity. There aren't enough cheesy noodles in the universe to fix all that, I'm afraid,

• Lucifer Morningstar : Maze? Ah, good, you're still here. I have a job for you.

  Mazikeen : On my way out, Lucifer. No more jobs.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, yes, I know. You don't work for me anymore. Very clear. But I have a feeling you're gonna love this one. Just think of it as a parting gift.

• Lucifer Morningstar : I'm sorry, Detective, but Charlotte's in danger. We need to find her.

  Chloe Decker : How did she go from big bad wolf to little lost lamb?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, maybe she's a wolf in sheep's clothing, but right now she needs to return to the flock.