"You're the Worst" The Only Thing That Helps (TV Episode 2016) Poster

Ben Folds: Ben Folds

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Quotes 

  • [music publicist Gretchen Cutler is meeting her newest client, Ben Folds] 

    Ben Folds : Honestly, Gretchen, I never cared about publicity. I mean, I was always just Ben Folds, regular guy from North Carolina who plays piano and smokes a pretty decent pork shoulder. Anyway, since I've relocated to L.A., I guess I have to play the game now. So here we are.

    Gretchen Cutler : I gotta say, I was half expecting you to be another high-maintenance diva.

    Ben Folds : Oh, no, you're probably thinking of Ben Kweller.

  • [Ben Folds resumes playing piano when Jimmy storms out of his own father's funeral] 

    Ben Folds : Hey, folks, if, uh, you're gonna Instagram this, be sure to, uh, hashtag BenFoldsSightings, BenFoldsIsEverywhere, and BenFoldsMovesToLA. If you do, I'll personally tell you what "Brick" is really about.

    Vernon Barbara : Abortion.

    Ben Folds : No.

  • Edgar Quintero : Hey. Do you have any weed?

    Vernon Barbara : Can't afford it with this stupid budget Becca's got me on, so I've been smoking dried banana peels. Why don't you just get a pot card?

    Edgar Quintero : The VA says it'll mess with my benefits, but it's, like, the only thing that helps, so... I don't know what to do.

    Vernon Barbara : The doctor in me is like "You're the patient. Take what you've been prescribed, you dumb little bitch."

    Edgar Quintero : Yeah, that's what I figured.

    Vernon Barbara : But the human in me? Is like "Smoke that ganj, yo." Real talk? It's bullroar that you can't get a pot card. You went to war. And straight berserkered on fools. That's an actual reason. Like, everyone at this party has a pot card for a dumb reason. Gretchen said she had insomnia, Lindsay said her back hurt...

    Ben Folds : [holding up his left hand while playing piano with his right]  Piano fingers.

    Edgar Quintero : What reason did you use?

    Vernon Barbara : I just said I saw a dog.

    Edgar Quintero : Did you?

    Vernon Barbara : No, man. Total lie, I didn't see a dog all day. Well, on TV, sure. You can't turn on a TV without seeing, like, three or four of them shits.

  • Ben Folds : [preparing to leave Ronny's funeral]  Well, this was fun. Hey, guys, uh, wanna hit Big Wang's or something? Get a couple drinks in me, I might tell you what "Brick"'s about.

    Gretchen Cutler : Abortion.

    Ben Folds : Goddamn it. How'd that get out?

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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