- [Matt Damon's response to Jimmy Kimmel's Vice-Presidential Campaign]
- Matt Damon: Jimmy Kimmel is running for Vice-President. But can Jimmy Kimmel really be trusted? Time and time again he has proven to be DECEITFUL! DUPLICITOUS! A LIAR! Why does Jimmy Kimmel mislead people? Humiliate them? Physically assault them? Make them dress up like fruit for no reason? If Jimmy Kimmel fucked Ben Affleck, who's he gonna fuck next? America? Paid for by Citizens for a Kimmel-Free America.
- [after seeing Matt Damon's attack ad]
- Himself - Host: Yeah, well, we're *definitely* running out of time for him tonight!