The Jesus Rolls (2019) User Reviews

A Mismarketed Mess of Bad Decisions, but an Amusing One

[TwistedContent · 5/10 · 4 February 2020]

I can tell You right away that if "The Jesus Rolls" wasn't masquerading as one "The Big Lebowski" spin-off & promising bowling goods on every one of its posters, audience's response would be at least slightly better. I certainly don't know why, but John Turturro went and inserted his iconic character Jesus Quintana in the world of the writer Bertrand Blier - this recipe couldn't have ended in a justified and crowd-pleasing spin-off. And, of course, it didn't.

Despite "The Jesus Rolls" being quite the mess, it's a rather amusing one. The few redeeming qualities include a top tier, doing-their-best, entertaining cast & contrastive, colorful cinematography. Everyone, from John Turturro to Bobby Cannavale to Audrey Tautou, to minor appearances by Jon Hamm and Susan Sarandon, manage to season the movie with some charisma and humor. The biggest problem of all is the marketing device itself, the very fact that this is a "The Big Lebowski" spin-off. Despite Turturro having delivered the memorable character of Jesus 22 years ago, he has made a mistake by choosing to brutally insert him in a story which just doesn't vibe with what a "Big Lebowski" spin-off could've been or should've been. The character himself is still awesome in the hands of Turturro, but he delivers maybe only the half of the amazement he did the first time. "The Jesus Rolls", adapting a lot of Bertrand Blier's material from "Les Valseuses" or "Going Places" which was (still is?) this movies working title, before "The Jesus Rolls". So, based on the aforementioned source material, "The Jesus Rolls" cfeatures a more than fair bit of sex, sexual jokes, sexual vibes and, well, just a lot of sleaze. It's not bad though, it's just that it's the feel of Bertrand Blier and not the brothers Coens. To top it all off, I'll break to You this - the only bowling you'll get to see in "The Jesus Rolls" is in a three minute long scene. That's it, folks.

There's a singular huge flaw behind the filmmakers decisions for "The Jesus Rolls", it's not what it should've been (spiritually a Coens movie) and it's also not what it could've been (a rightfully marketed movie based on the works of Berntrand Blier), but at the end of the day "The Jesus Rolls" is an amusing time killer at the very least. My rating: 5/10

You Will Want To See it... But Don't

[genious-35413 · 3/10 · 4 February 2020]

We all loved Big Lebowski. It was a masterpiece. And The Jesus was such a great little part of it. But it doesn't warrant this debacle. I could waste your time with long-winded, yammering examples of what's wrong with it, but you can probably already tell. Just watch Lebowski again. Unless you're like me, you haven't seen it for awhile. Personally, I just finished watching it, to cleanse myself of this. Great cast, bad movie.

Garbage

[dgaumer · 1/10 · 2 April 2022]

I normally enjoy turturro but this is a disgusting waste of film..... bad everything... I was ashamed of myself for watching it.. I'll never get the time back..,

Could not get past the first 40 minutes...

[robertolopes-1 · 1/10 · 29 January 2022]

Sorry guys, this one is too boring, NOT funny and... well, it just SUCKS! I turned it off after 40 minutes. What a waste!

I'd rather go to the dentist.

Goes nowhere, does nothing!

[banzanbon · 1/10 · 16 September 2021]

WOW is this flick lousy! The original Blier film was nothing much to write home about, as it took crassness to a new height; that was the '70's. It was the day and age of the Situationists and they though banal was oh so shocking and existentially chic.

That said, one has to wonder why Torturro, an otherwise talented actor and I'm guessing cinema enthusiast picked a story that was awful the first go around and hasn't improved with age at all (eyeroll)! After about 45 minutes you realize that the whole thing is just a cavalcade of stars who in fact go nowhere and do nothing. Full stop!

Starts out great...but

[FilmCurator · 3/10 · 6 February 2020]

I was waiting to see this, with great hopes of something good. It started out great, funny, wild, then just went downhill after 15 minutes. I could barely make it through to the end. As usual, a big disappointment from mainstream filmmakers.

No Bowling, No Dice

[TheInevitableHulk · 3/10 · 9 May 2020]

This is a strange one. Many are saying that if you go in with expectations you'll be disappointed, the fact 'The Jesus' has been placed in this strange brew encourages and stokes those expectations and it is naive to think it wouldn't.

A remake with an existing character thrown in (from a beloved cult movie no less) and the only reference to the characters origins are to unpick a troublesome character detail and send him out on the road.

Passable, modestly funny in places but grindingly and conspicuously zany most of the time.

Couple this with Turturro's 'Fading Gigolo' and a pattern might be emerging about the director's desire to place himself in roles where he can direct Vanessa Paradise, Sharon Stone and now Audrey Tautou to find him irresistible.

At best a mildly diverting film you'll likely dismiss at worst an unnecessary annex to the Lebowski myth that could easily have been made with no connection to it. Moribund.

Glad I didn't read the reviews

[danieljames-65664 · 7/10 · 24 May 2020]

This is enjoyable to watch even if it is pointless. Jesus Quintana is a character with multi-dimensional creepiness, deserving of a film like this to achieve the fullest expression.

Dude!

[kosmasp · 5/10 · 22 May 2023]

No puns or Dudes intended - I watched this the other day ... and while I was sure I had never seen this movie, I had a strong Deja Vu feeling throughout ... it was like I had seen many of the scenes before. Not sort of - because if you've seen as many movies as I have, you are very likely to feel some familiarity for most movies you are going to watch ... but this was so much more ... more than this.

And lo and behold: this is a not just a spin off to Big Lebowski, it is also a Remake of a French movie from the 70s (starring Gerard Depardieu) ... I guess a nod to that is the casting of the woman movie fans know as Amelie ... and if you are not a prude, you at least will not mind seeing her topless and naked from time to time - I even though of calling this Amelie goes wild.

Now I don't know if this deserves a worst of 2020 movie ... there weren't that many movies in that year - pandemic and all. But I understand the sentiment - since it was one of the most anticipated and did not deliver I reckon expectations Big Lebowski fans had. And the original other movie this is based on (story wise), is also far better! Still the casting here is quite something ... even when the movie seems to be stuck many times ... So if you can watch the French Original, even if it is way longer than this one ...

Nice homage to Going Places (1974)

[longojr · 9/10 · 16 February 2020]

I loved this remake with Jesus Quintana as Gerard Depardieu's character from the great 70s french classic. It makes sense having Quintana mixed with french anarquist counter culture and its sexual freedom. I, as a Dudeist fan, was able to unserstand the message of impredicability which only real inner freedom can provide. Like the Dude, all Jesus wanted was his freedom back. And yes, freedom matches the living room nicely also, but real freedom will put you on a cross, or a social shell prison eventually, or people might mistaken you for a criminal of some sort... and guess what? One might become a criminal for being free of social leashes. Well, that's just my opinion... man! 😁

As Shock Treatment is to Rocky Horror

[VinnieRattolle · 7/10 · 5 February 2020]

Bear with me for a paragraph. Most people don't know that there was a 1981 sequel to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Brad and Janet returned (portrayed by different actors) in a new story that bore virtually no relation to the original. Fans expected "Shock Treatment" to be "Rocky Horror 2," which it definitely wasn't, so the film quickly vanished into obscurity. However, those of us who were able to overlook the ties to the previous movie were treated to a quirky oddity that presciently spoofed reality television decades before there was such a thing.

I wouldn't go so far as to say "The Jesus Rolls" is ahead of its time, but I can't help but draw comparisons to "Shock Treatment." Yes, Jesus Quintana originated in "The Big Lebowski," but if you're expecting more of the same, you're going to hate it. However, if you can just forget The Dude's adventure and accept this movie for the oddball little dramedy that it is, it's enjoyable.

Jesus gets out of jail, where he's met by his buddy, Peter (Bobby Cannavale). The duo sets off on a small-time crime spree, soon teaming up with hairdresser Marie (Audrey Tautou), and forming an unusual throuple.

Turturro imbues Jesus with a lot of extra dimensions (although frankly, that's something that many fans probably didn't want to see, as there's little mention of his prowess in the bowling lanes). The always-wonderful Cannavale is perfect as his self-centered sidekick. Tautou is charmingly odd as the duo's free-spirited not-girlfriend. And Susan Sarandon deserves an honorable mention for her hilarious and heartbreaking turn as a recently-paroled woman whom the guys briefly encounter. Other reliable actors like Christopher Walken, Tim Blake Nelson, J.B. Smoove, and Jon Hamm all essentially appear in cameos.

The film's biggest problems are that it lacks a strong plot and antagonists ( I've never seen the '70s French film that this was adapted from, but I surmise that's where these issues originated). Basically, it's a road trip movie where strange things happen to our protagonists as peripheral characters come and go. Road trip movies usually have something that the characters hope to accomplish when they arrive at their destination, but motive is largely absent here. Instead, it winds up being more akin to a character study. There's also a question of how much time passes. No major spoiler, but someone is injured at the beginning of the film, and they seem to have miraculously healed long before the credits roll. I only mention it because it doesn't seem to align with something that occurs at the film's conclusion.

The movie's not perfect, and it ain't Lebowski 2, but I was entertained for 77 minutes. Honestly, that's all I can ask of any film.

Unfunny and Pointless

[ruki_motomiya · 1/10 · 8 January 2022]

I was going to start this review with "only the 2nd worst The Big Lebowski sequel on Letterboxd" but at least the Funny or Die parody trailer is short.

Honestly, wasn't expecting this to be so shockingly bad? I had heard from some people it wasn't good, but was cautiously curious. Using Jesus as a spinoff character felt odd since in The Big Lebowski he's basically just a joke character who nobody takes seriously and in the film could be cut. But it also meant that there's a lot of room to work with, sooooo maybe?

But no. This movie is disjointed, moving from disconnected (be it by logic or themes) plot point from disconnected plot point, characterization is pretty thin, John Turturro still has the mannerisms from The Big Lebowski down but plays Jesus with oddly low energy (and a poor script means a lot of attempted comedy just Dies), the cinematography felt shockingly bad (multiple shots that I am pretty sure were inside a real car/train looked almost like a green screen due to poor framing), and probably at least 20 minues of this 85 minute movie are languid sex scenes. It's the kind if film where I was checking the time repeatedly to see how close to over it was, having lost all interest. The only good part of the movie is the end, which does tie one plot point together, but even then it messes up by going on for too long and should have just ended with a fade away after the tire stops rolling. Honestly one of the worst films I've seen in a while.

"The Jesus Rolls" - down hill

[callumkirk81 · 1/10 · 1 April 2021]

This movie has nothing going for it. Boring, Boring, FKN BORING! Wouldn't waste your time. Mediocre performances all round and it's down right shameful to think this attempted to be a spin off of "The Big Lebowski".

I have no more words...

The Jesus Gutters

[questl-18592 · 4/10 · 8 October 2020]

This is a weird movie that, in a way, reminds me a lot of Joker.

We get solid performances throughout. Turturro and Cannavale are rock solid and just about always are in my opinion. Tautou is an extra manic pixie dream girl here and it really works. We also get a strong cast of cameos and auxiliary characters with some serious star power all delivering great characters. I actually like the character Turturro is playing as well, he's got this zen hippie criminal thing going that I find oddly compelling from him.

Problem is, this isn't "Jesus" and has nothing to do with The Big Lebowski. This movie is desperately missing the Coen Brothers. It's quirky and weird and surreal, like one of their films but it lacks that spark, that little something extra to really make it pop. When you throw that in with this forced, unnecessary sequel/spin-off and it just never feels right. Turturro's character is enjoyable, but it's not at all how I remember Jesus.

Hence the Joker comparison. I think the Joker is a better movie if it's not about THE Joker and I think this is vastly improved if it's got nothing to do with Lebowski. But, we have to live with what we have and not what I wish we had so this is what we get. A movie with a solid core but an absolute wreck of a premise. There wasn't a scene where it wasn't distracting or frustrating and I just constantly wished I could forget this movie's connections, but I can't. All that said, it's solid background fodder I think, it's just not good for anything more than that.

Yuck

[bradleyferrier · 2/10 · 13 April 2020]

Forgetting that Jesus now looks way too old to pull this off and that his accent could only rarely be found, this is clunking, aimless, and pointless. No story, no laughs, nobody should have done this with the Jesus.

Couldn't even finish it

[botrytis · 3/10 · 6 February 2020]

If there was any reason for wanting to see this movie was the opportunity to experience an additional Big Lebowski-like entry, or anything close to that quality. That movie is something really american, but in a unique way, something really masterfully clever and stupid at the same time, where every moment beheld maximum focus on detail told in a really pleasantly paced narrative...

This... is nothing like that... this movie is plain stupid and paced terribly. It's just another american movie with forced sketches, humor, everything. Nothing unique about it. It has that potential of going into something artsy in the second half, but it's just doesn't get it what made Big Lebowski big. Torturo and his fellow writers have no idea at all, and should have left this project alone as a postponed screenplay locked in the shed somewhere deep in the garage...

If you want to see a Big Lebowski movie, you won't get it here... if you want to see A movie you will probably appreciate something about this, but that's just like watching any other slapstick B-flick. Totally disappointing experience...

I don't recommend this to anybody actually, just watch the classic instead of this.

Strikes Out.

[southdavid · 2/10 · 27 October 2020]

Expectation can be a killer. John Turturro's decision to adapt the plotless French novel "Les Valseuses" is a questionable one, but one that might have found an audience, particularly given the casting favours it's director calls in. However, the decision to bring back his character Jesus, from beloved classic "The Big Lebowski" creates an expectation that the film, even if it was better, couldn't possible live up to.

Recently released from prison, Jesus (John Turturro) is met by Petey (Bobby Cannavale) and the pair head out onto the road. They meet Marie, (Audrey Tautou) a free spirted French hairdresser and the trio start out, committing petty crimes and having sex together. Later they meet Jean (Susan Sarandon) a woman recently released from Prison and later still her son Jack (Pete Davidson).

So... whilst there are performances in "The Jesus Rolls" that are decent, as you would expect from the quality of the cast, the lack of plot, or of a theme, or of an analogy just doesn't suit today's cinematic tastes, like it might have done in the 70's when the book was first adapted in it's native France, with Gerard Depardieu as the lead. It's a collection of scenes, some of which are loosely connected, but others that appear for absolutely no reason. It's dull, it's not funny and its implausibly long, especially given that it's barely 85 minutes. Nobody learns anything and the film has nothing to say.

The decision to crowbar Jesus into the adaptation, is just one further level of egregious mistake, as it makes the film operate as a spin off from a true classic and adds another level of disappointment on an already poor concoction.

Underrated by spoiled swine

[jbuckland-11125 · 7/10 · 5 February 2020]

I have never written an IMDB review before now, but after reading the user reviews, I felt compelled to set the record straight. This is now the Big Lebowski. This is not a Cohen Brothers film. My fellow critics seem unable to grasp this simple reality. This movie stands on its own finely. It's a darkly comic little odyssey that no one really asked for. It doesn't try to be anything but what it is. The antics of the protagonists reminded me of Trailer Park Boys at times, and that amused me, though it is a serious enough film to avoid being just another comic crime-spree film. It's funny, it's well-paced, and it's leaps-and-bounds better than 70% of recent releases. Don't see it because you liked The Big Lebowski. See it because you like good Cinema.

Far From Lebowski Quality

[iquine · 4/10 · 24 December 2020]

(Flash Review)

The viewer is brought into a snippet of time from when The Jesus is released from prison on a sketchy charge, referenced in The Big Lebowski, as he and his buddy bum around hanging out with a couple older prostitutes, 'using them' and committing petty theft. I can't say there was much of a plot, more of flushing out the character and his world. There are of course a couple bowling scenes and his famous bowling ball lick; not something you'd be doing during COVID19. This severely lacked the level of laughs or witty dialog that The Big Lebowski had not to mention a core story point. I am wondering if the producers will flush out the back stories of Maude, Knox Harrington or the Carpet Pisser. ;-) This was not written by Coen Brothers and it shows even though it tried.

Genius expression of post-modern film.

[ntcopeland-65712 · 10/10 · 21 February 2020]

Abandon all expectations and open your mind to to this profound cinematic experience. John Turturo found the perfect libretto in Going Places to compose this masterpiece. At it's core, a post-modern character study exploring the life of legendary Cohen brothers character, Jesus Quintana, the Jesus Rolls is as funny as it is emotionally provocative. It is both subtle and flamboyant. It's esoteric plot may fly right over your head on the first viewing. But, give it a second view, and you will be sure to want a 3rd. Many will be repulsed by it; however I am without a doubt that The Jesus Rolls will become a true cult-classic.

"Where are we going?" -the Jesus

This is not a Coen Bros film. But it's good.

[rochfordsimon · 7/10 · 11 February 2020]

I enjoyed this movie. I was disappointed after 10 mins when I realised it wasn't what I was expecting (Big Lebowski themed story), but that aside, it's a feel good movie. Lots of pointless cameos, but their characters are good.

I laughed, smiled and felt sad and happy watching this. That's good story telling. I'd watch a sequel.

But if your waiting and hoping for Jesus to be the character from Big Lebowski, you'll be disappointed. It's not a classic by any means, but it's a good movie and you root for the characters.

Ridiculous spinoff of The Big Lebowski

[rossvassilev · 1/10 · 22 October 2021]

I don't see the point of this movie. There isn't a single funny line. The talents of Audrey Tautou and Susan Sarandon are waisted here. They try to make the film heart-warming but failed at that as well. A real waste of time, trying to make money off the storyline of The Big Lebowski. Swing and a miss.

Everybody facks with the jesus

[JunkyardHounds · 1/10 · 9 February 2020]

A softcorn porn comedy without comedy or porn. A film where plots never go nowhere and the jokes were written by an 8 year old. Predictably, they get rid of the Big Lebowski Jesus pedophilia allegations in the first minute and then the film procceds to be a road comedy that goes nowhere. Every actress is sexually exploited (why Sarandon wasted her time on this i'll never know) and every girl in the plot wants to fuck the two lead characters even though there's no reason to. This is a completely different movie than the big lebowski, and a bad one. Not just Hollywood bad, but real bad. A road comedy sex movie with Jesus Quintana badly hammered in. Dissapointment is all i can express.

Horrid

[Gordon-11 · 29 February 2020]

This film is just horrid. The story is very bad, as if it's written by someone who is very very sexually frustrated. All the characters are unlikeable, and I actually hate them. The only thing that impressed me was the fact that they managed to convince so many established actors and actresses to be naked in this film.

Your First Instinct Will Be to Avoid Watching This Movie - Always Go with Your First Instinct

[bysterbusch · 1/10 · 29 January 2021]

I recall hearing how great 'The Big Lebowski' was, it was not. I also remember all of the critical acclaim for 'O Brother, Where Art Thou', totally misguided. 'The Jesus Rolls' is based on a character from 'The Big Lebowski', so we're already in the hole. The plot line was very similar to 'O Brother Where Art Thou' which is akin to a butterfly fight, lots of movement but no direction and no conclusive result. It definitely had the Coen Brothers fingerprints.

Every major actor in the movie is overrated yet darlings of the Hollywood set.

Am I the only one offended that an actor of Italian-American descent was playing (and poorly at that) a Puerto Rican character?

The bright side of the movie was the early 1970's Plymouth. I believe they were trying to sell it as a Roadrunner.

When my DVR asked about deleting the movie when I was finished, I wish there was an option to remove it from history. It was just that bad.