John Twomey: Self

Quotes 

• Johnny Carson : You've never used this in court or anything. I mean, how's the legal profession look upon this as a - as an attorney?

  John Twomey : Well, I'll tell ya - in the courtroom, during a tense trial, you kinda wait towards the end of the trial. Kinda like a "gotcha" - you know how that story goes? And just as the opposing counsel is just rising to make an important point to the jury, you know...

  [he makes two farting sounds with his hands] 

  John Twomey : Just a couple of quick...

• Johnny Carson : That was a new little addition there, wasn't it? The humming, with the - the, uh...

  John Twomey : Well, yes - it's... it's kind of a three-part harmony. I'm working on a fourth part, but I can't really divulge that.

  Johnny Carson : Well, I... I - I'm not sure we're ready for a demonstration.

• John Twomey : I know that tonight, for example, there are manualists... uh, not coming forward to the public. They're just sitting home playing with themselves... And I think they're really...

  Johnny Carson : Absolutely. You've got to have an audience for that.