Lucifer (TV Series)
Chloe Does Lucifer (2017)
Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar
Photos
Quotes
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Esther : I don't work out. Everything you see is God-given.
Lucifer Morningstar : And they say that Dad doesn't give with both hands.
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Dan Espinoza : He's a dude and he's straight.
Lucifer Morningstar : That's never stopped me before, Daniel. I'm so good at flipping men, they call me "The Skillet."
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Esther : You guys mind if I post that I'm totes helping a police investigation?
Lucifer Morningstar : Absolutely. Do you mind tagging me?
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Chloe Decker : No photos at a crime scene. Sorry.
Esther : Not even one last one with the handsome cop?
Lucifer Morningstar : Don't let the boring detective spoil things. It would be my pleasure.
[Ester walks past him to take a selfie with Dan]
Lucifer Morningstar : ... Obviously, I'm far too well-dressed to be a cop.
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Chloe Decker : What if Esther found out about Benji and Kim? Got jealous, lost control...
Lucifer Morningstar : This goddess, jealous of the plain Jane? It's-it's ludicrous! It's like me being jealous of that paper clip. Or Daniel.
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Lucifer Morningstar : In the end, the shoe turned out to be interesting, and the top hat, boring.
Linda Martin : Right. So you're gonna embrace your boring side now?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, I would, but I have no boring side.
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Benji : You're not paparazzi? Oh, thank God.
Lucifer Morningstar : Ugh. Man, the things Dad gets credit for.
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Amenadiel : So that's who you were with... Chloe and Trixie. Well, so much for wine, women and song.
Lucifer Morningstar : Technically, all of those things were represented, when you count the post-game karaoke.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Right, I'm clearly needed on the front lines. You just stay here and do what you do best.
[enunciating]
Lucifer Morningstar : Nada.
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Chloe Decker : You're really tan. Are you, uh, are you a surfer?
Blue Eyed #2 : Well, I'd sure like to surf... in your eyes.
Lucifer Morningstar : [Listening in van] Ugh, dearie me. He's lucky it's not a crime to be a cheeseball.
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Lucifer Morningstar : She flew to Florence last week just 'cause she fancied eating some gelato.
Chloe Decker : She went on a plane to get ice cream?
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, when you say it in English, it sounds silly.
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Linda Martin : How's that saying go? "We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars".
Lucifer Morningstar : The stars are just gas bags, and I never would have fed Oscar that line had I known how much I'd have to hear people quote it back to me.
Linda Martin : [Stunned] Oscar freakin' Wilde? Really?
Lucifer Morningstar : Mm-hmm. Now, *he* was an interesting bachelor.
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Linda Martin : So... Oscar, huh? Tell me everything.
Lucifer Morningstar : Well... he was straight when I first met him.
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Benji : I told you, I'm innocent.
Lucifer Morningstar : You're an overpaid DJ, so that's up for debate.
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Amenadiel : We need the most love when we're being most unlovable.
Lucifer Morningstar : No offense, Brother, but I don't need love from you. I get plenty from naked strangers.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Don't be such a Debbie Downer, Daniel.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Now, this poor victim, *she* is boring.
Chloe Decker : We don't know anything about her.
Lucifer Morningstar : Oh, don't we?
[Looks around apartment]
Lucifer Morningstar : Generic artwork, dull clothes, beige furniture. I mean, even her fruit bowl's so tragically safe... No mangoes, no papayas. Not even a measly avocado.
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Mack Slater : We've been busy as hell these days.
Lucifer Morningstar : Not nearly, I can assure you.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Mack... Or should I say... Hack?
[Mack looks confused]
Lucifer Morningstar : Waste of a pun.
[to Chloe]
Lucifer Morningstar : You're gonna have to spell it out for him, Detective.
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Lucifer Morningstar : What is it that you really desire?
Esther : I... I... want to stop posing and lying!
[Emotional]
Esther : It takes so much effort to make these pics look so effortless. It's exhausting!
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, so you're saying it's just all a facade?
Esther : I don't even know what that word means! I'm not worldly at all!
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Ella Lopez : [about victim] A fellow nerd. I'm sure you're in a better place now.
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, even if she's in the worst place, it'd be far more interesting than this, because this poor lady, definitely a shoe.
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Amenadiel : Honestly, Luci, who cares how you spend your nights?
Lucifer Morningstar : Um, *everyone*. My exciting lifestyle gives regular people something to aspire to. I provide hope.