- Gayle: Chapter three: My first day of life. The day it all went wrong. And then right, and then wrong again.
- Gene Belcher: [Answers phone] Bob's Burgers. It's a dead cow on a bun, but it's still really fun. Also, we're closed.
- Bob Belcher: Gene, it's me. Have you been answering the phone like that?
- Gene Belcher: Yep. People love it!
- Linda Belcher: You really need to get a new phone, Bob. That phone's older than Gene.
- Gene Belcher: And hairier.
- Gayle: You don't think the menstruation scene was too much?
- Tina Belcher: I could have gone without the bubble machine, but that's just me.
- Gene Belcher: Agree to disagree.
- Austin: [as Bob puts mats under him] Are those for if I fall or to pee on?
- Bob Belcher: Both, I guess. But mostly the fall.
- Austin: I'm going to fall on my own pee?
- Bob Belcher: Maybe hold it in then?
- Austin: I should have gone before climbing. What was I thinking? It's the first rule of rock climbing.
- Bob Belcher: That can't be the first rule.