- Tom Servo: [playing video games] Kick, punch, a-pose!
- Crow T. Robot: [playing video games] Stupid penguins...
- Mike Nelson: [playing video games] Rats! Another goal.
- [to camera]
- Mike Nelson: Hi everyone, Mike Nelson for Sci-Fi Channel's "Mystery Science Theater 3000", along with Crow T. Robot...
- Crow T. Robot: Can't talk, must play.
- Mike Nelson: ...And Tom Servo.
- Tom Servo: Block, kick, punch!
- Mike Nelson: The good folks at Playstation Underground asked us to take a look at some of their work from the past year.
- Tom Servo: Yeah, meaning they bought us off with a bunch of Playstations.
- Crow T. Robot: And a mess of neat games.
- [chuckles]
- Mike Nelson: Well...
- [chuckles contently]
- Mike Nelson: and we're gonna head into the theater in a minute, but first I want to get one more goal at "NHL Faceoff '98".
- Tom Servo: Meaning, you fairly stink at it.
- Mike Nelson: Hey.
- Tom Servo: My arms don't work, and I'm doin' better than you! Jump, kick, turn!
- Crow T. Robot: Yeah, Mike, why don't you go back to playing "Pong"?
- Tom Servo: Yeah, face it, bub, you'll never master the subtle power of "PaRappa the Rapper".
- Crow T. Robot: Or the lightning-fast reflexes of "Crash Bandicoot"!
- Mike Nelson: Oh really, Crow? I- is that why Crash keeps getting pummeled by penguins?
- Crow T. Robot: Well it's slippery in there! Hey, come on, Bandicoot, ya big... thing!
- Mike Nelson: And Tom, I'm noticing your onion head guy is falling down a lot, and well, uh... farting.
- Tom Servo: Yeah, I want him to do that, okay?
- Mike Nelson: Well don't get cocky; it's gonna get rocky. We're gonna head into the theater now-
- [siren goes off]
- Tom Servo: Underground sign!