Bite Me (I) (2019) User Reviews

Vampire romance

[BandSAboutMovies · 5/10 · 9 February 2022]

Writer/director duo Naomi McDougall Jones and Meredith Edwards made 2014's Imagine I'm Beautiful and this is the follow-up, with Jones starring as Sarah, a real-life vampire who finds herself getting audited.

I never saw that in any of the Hammer movies.

She's soon helped by IRS agent James (Christian Coulson, who played Tom Riddle in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and gets in a cute line about muggles in this), who is incredibly understanding of the secret world of bloodsuckers, who in this movie ave very ordinary origins, being born with a condition that requires regular blood consumption.

Sara once was married to a vampire king and the man who inked her face at age sixteen - and who claims to be the social media voice of vampires - and now lives in a house of female vamps that she hopes to turn into a church, the House of Twilight, with roommate Chrissy going on reality TV to explain how the vampires aren't fiction. They also have another roommate named Lily, who as a Muslim vampire really breaks stereotypes.

Bite Me isn't a horror movie, unless you're afraid of romcoms. It's a quick and breezy film, with much of its humor perhaps better done by What We Do in the Shadows, but the leads are so likable that this is a rewarding film. It's not going to replace any of the vampire films that you love most - Near Dark remains the best vampire movie ever - but it'll pass the time and may even make you laugh a few times.

A broad, messagy rom-com that lives or dies on its resonance

[tarchon · 5/10 · 6 February 2023]

In contemporary America, and presumably elsewhere, there are a lot of subcultures that have an expectation that whatever ostensibly weird thing it is they're into is honest, real, and completely harmless, if not virtuous. The corollary is that you should be fine with it, and even if there are some things about it that don't make a lot of sense, you should politely nod, say something like "that's very interesting," and not try to poke holes in it. Which this movie flatly tells you, so there's not much doubt about this being its main message. Because it revolves around this, your enjoyment of it is likely to depend on where you stand on accepting such things, like that there are real-life "vampires" who (from their POV) need to drink blood. (This is a 100% real thing, in the real world; they ain't making it up.) Enthusiasts of unconventional subcultures are likely to enjoy the message and representation, while the more conservative among us will probably be turned off by it.

Coming from what I feel like is a middle ground on this, it's a middling movie. It has a real intention to be a "rom-com," so it follows a familiar formula, while trying to use that familiarity to comment on the message at hand. It's somewhat successful there, and the plot has above-average smarts, relative to the world of rom-comery. It can be somewhat sweet and amusing, but the comedy is very broad, often crossing into corniness, and still, as someone who doesn't completely buy into the message, it isn't funny enough to let me wholly sympathize with plucky vampires trying to get away with tax evasion.

An Intriguing Romance

[alisonocarroll · 7/10 · 18 June 2019]

Great movie for a Saturday night! A lovely romance story about people who appear opposites but have more in common than they think. Both grow stronger in being their own person as a result of knowing each other, and these shifts are skillfully portrayed as the movie progresses. The leads, Christian and Naomi, are really good and it has an interesting backdrop of the real vampire subculture.

more creative fiction in the patently fake/shill reviews than in this botch of a film

[random-70778 · 13 December 2019]

OK so the friends and family of those unfortunate enough to be in this film are spamming the reviews with "10 star" ratings.

Doesn't change the fact that this film terrible, unbearably badly done in every way

Makes No Sense

[ds-mulholland · 2/10 · 10 January 2023]

Read the synopsis and thought this sounded interesting. It starts typically enough, grumpy goth type annoyed by people around her for no particular reason, then we see a clip of a "vampire" appearing in a reality show.

It then continues going slowly downhill, with absolutely no sign of humour at any point so far. Then we're let into the fact that these "vampires" aren't supernatural, just people born without the ability to create their own energy and need to drink blood from donors to stop feeling ill... I think... I was already losing interest by this point.

Then there was something about churches, the IRS, a guy with a British accent and a totally unconvincing love story. We tried to watch for a while longer but this simply has nothing to offer, I can't even recall the characters, except one had blue hair. We switched off after about 35-40 minutes and have no inclination of ever watching the second half.

Fun! Soo much fun. Go for the ride with a DATE!

[goforthcenterstage · 9/10 · 20 June 2019]

This movie is so much fun! Also romantic, clever and sweet and.... did I mention fun? The leads offer terrific performances, and the New York City Vampire clan is an intriguing thing to look at ... if you DARE! Watch with a date and bring red wine!

lame

[cary-70800 · 2/10 · 6 February 2023]

Really super terrible. I'm super pissed that I have to get to all these required characters. Just come on here and say what a terrible movie this is An please don't waste your time. I kept thinking this would be getting better because of the reviews but it's not. I am so bummed out that I watched it. Watch the hunger, Watch only lovers left alive watch let the right one in , Watch a woman walks home alone ,Jesus almost even watch twilight instead of this dreck. Oh my God I can't believe I still have to get 335 characters all right let's see what I can do. I can't really complain about this movie anymore because there's so little OK I'm done.

Sweet, Funny & Relatable (Even if it's about Vampires)

[jessfw · 10/10 · 24 June 2019]

A great film is made by an unique story with relatable elements. Well, romantically engaging a vampire with an IRS agent is definitely unique, but there are so many elements of this relationship that any of us can relate to from accepting oneself to learning to open up. "Bite Me" is truly one of a kind, and through its comedy, it manages to create a beautiful hilarious story with the best characters on the screen. Definitely recommend!

Most human story about vampires

[Swtcopycat · 9/10 · 20 June 2019]

Saw BiteMe at NYC premier. It's a heartwarming, very relevant film that's finding it's audience and paving a new way to self distribution.

Fun subversive romantic comedy!

[llanz · 10/10 · 21 June 2019]

All about acceptance and love, with a super fun backdrop. Absolutely grab a glass of red wine and enjoy!

Really delightful Romantic Comedy

[jamespatricknelson · 10/10 · 20 June 2019]

"Bite Me" has such an incredible blend of the classic and the irreverent. The structure and the tone is reminiscent of the best heart-warming rom-coms of yesteryears - it's the kind of joyful love story you see so rarely these days. And while it deftly adheres to a familiar narrative construct, there's nothing formulaic or predictable about it - it's utterly unique. It's something we've all been craving, and it's something we've never seen before. The story is about people who feel like they're on the fringes of society (for a variety of reasons) fighting for acceptance and belonging. It's a really delightful, glorious film.

Embrace your inner weirdo!

[kimberlylanelle · 10/10 · 8 July 2019]

Lovely film about seeing the weirdness in us all and loving each other for it! Throw in Vampires, New York City and the IRS and you have a gem!

A smart, feel good romp

[mclaugh2 · 10/10 · 28 June 2019]

Naomi's voice is so unique and lovely. This movie is a delight!

If Jack Kerouac went on the road to shoot a vampire movie - this would be it!

[ytbufflo · 10/10 · 25 June 2019]

I had a blast! Such a fun project, with great cast and so much fun to meet the director-lead actress-producer and her wonderful husband at the Santa Fe premiere!

Learned so much about the hard work and thinking outside of the box that these talented folks are doing to create a truly independent film business model, and the updates from the road are priceless!!!!!!!

Support your local joyful vampire and buy or rent this hilarious movie!!!!!!

All the right strings

[brettmacelveen · 10/10 · 23 February 2022]

Of all the evil, twisted, and sick characters Ms. McDougall-Jones could choose from, she chose - you guessed it - an IRS agent. Lol! This cute film plucked all the right heart strings to create a beautiful, tightly crafted love story. Bravo! Can't wait to see her next film!

The Most Creative Story About Vampires Ever

[rannynm · 9/10 · 5 February 2022]

Bite Me is the most creative story about vampires I have seen. Like many teenagers, I am an ardent vampire folklore fan, romance-focused to be more specific. Twilight and Vampire Diaries among the most popular vampire series, and this film is a refreshing and enticing change in the vampire lore storytelling.

Bite Me is romantic comedy about an IRS agent, James (Christian Coulson) and a real-life vampire, Sarah (Naomi McDougall Jones). As Sarah gets a concerning message from the IRS about her church called Twilight she must explain to James about her lifestyle to throw out the case. As romance sparks between these two unlikely lovers, will Sarah have to choose between blood and James? And is James's love strong enough to handle her bite?

The idea of a real-life 21-century vampire is such an interesting concept. In the beginning of the film I was confused, though, by what they meant by the word "vampire"-with so many different variations of this fictional creature in storytelling, I had a hard time defining it. However, director Meredith Edwards cleverly defines this film's interpretation of vampires throughout the story. This is done through James' hilarious jokes and twists on the stereotypical vampire, which are then debunked by Sarah or another vampire. In terms of the film, the cinematography is excellent. The footage is extremely clear and has a depth that almost seems like an "IMAX effect." Naomi McDougall Jones is the best actress to play a modern-day vampire! Many people could relate to her story in the film- minus the blood. Her co-star Christian Coulson plays James as so cheesy and odd and does things like busts into breakdancing, which is my favorite scene. His character is a perfect example that even the most average "mundane" people can live fantastical lives. My favorite character is played by Annie Golden- she provides great comic relief throughout. Like a lot of romcoms, Bite Me is set in New York City which creates the perfect tone for every section of the movie.

The message of Bite Me is simply to love who you are and who you wish to become. Sarah and James are both looking for something more in their lives, but realize that it might just be each other. This movie contains some profanity, brief sexual content, and blood, which may be disturbing for younger audiences. The movie promotes some negative behavior that may be mimicked by younger children.

I give Bite Me 5 out of 5 stars, and I recommend it for ages 13 to 18, plus adults. You can watch Bite Me on digital download on February 8, 2022. By Ashleigh C., KIDS FIRST!