Criminal Minds (TV Series)

Lucky Strikes (2017)

Kirsten Vangsness: Penelope Garcia

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penelope Garcia : [hugging JJ]  Come here. You magical, brilliant unicorn. How did you know? How did you know that the Morgan/Garcia cocktail is exactly what the doctor ordered?

  Jennifer Jareau : Well, I couldn't stand to see you like this, and I knew that only one person could put that smile back on your baby girl face.

• Penelope Garcia : Do you want to go into the Batcave and hang out like old times?

  Derek Morgan : You know I want to. But I'd have to bargain with my boss, and my boss is no joke. He's real tough on me. Did you not get my text?

  Penelope Garcia : While you were lovingly mansplaining to me? No, that would be rude.

  Derek Morgan : Woman, look at your phone.

  Penelope Garcia : Okay. Well, I would've, but...

  Derek Morgan : [she takes her phone out]  I don't know if you're ready.

  [a video file plays] 

  Derek Morgan : Hey, Hank the Tank, say "Hey, Aunt Penelope."

  Hank Morgan : Hey, Auntie.

  Derek Morgan : Right?

  Penelope Garcia : Oh, my gosh. How is my godson continuing to get cuter and smarter? This is everything! This is the greatest. You're the greatest. Thank you.

  Derek Morgan : You're welcome.

• Penelope Garcia : [her phone rings]  Call me back at my desk in two minutes.

  Derek Morgan : Whatever you need, baby girl.

  Penelope Garcia : [realizing who it is]  This is you. You're on the phone.

  Derek Morgan : Yeah, it's me. I heard what's going on.

  Penelope Garcia : Did they tell you I'm being hideous? It's because, like... listen to me. I've lost my voice because I've been crying so much. I have, like, major PTSD, with an emphasis on the... on the "S" and the "T". And definitely some of the "D" and the "P". Because it's been a while since all of this happened and...

  [she sees Morgan enter] 

  Penelope Garcia : You're right there. It's really you.

  Derek Morgan : It's me.

  [she walks up to him and he gives her a gentle hug] 

  Derek Morgan : It's okay. I got you.

• Penelope Garcia : And no one knows how to handle me when I'm not in good form. I'm so unwieldy. So they brought in the secret weapon. Hey. Look at this. Huh?

  Derek Morgan : [she leads him into his old office]  Oh, wow. Check this out. Same furniture?

  Penelope Garcia : What, you really think I'm gonna let them move it? I need it. I come in here when I miss you.

  Derek Morgan : Oh, yeah?

  Penelope Garcia : Yeah. I feel bashful telling you that, but... it makes me feel better. Even imaginary you. Now you're really... here. Thank you.

  Derek Morgan : So that's all it took? Me showing up. No words of wisdom needed?

  Penelope Garcia : Uh-huh. Basking in our connectivity, I feel healed.

  Derek Morgan : We always could do that, couldn't we? No words.

  Penelope Garcia : Oh, yeah. Although I do enjoy our delicious banter. Speaking of which, I know you didn't come all this way just to look at me.

  Derek Morgan : Sure, I did.

• Penelope Garcia : [opening quotation]  "I like to turn things upside down to see pictures and situations from another perspective." - Ursus Wehrli.

• Jennifer Jareau : Oh, great. I was just coming for you. So, I have the handwritten notes...

  [seeing Garcia's expression] 

  Jennifer Jareau : Hey. Um, you know, we can call in someone else to work this case.

  Penelope Garcia : No, there's no reason to do that. Why...

  [realizing] 

  Penelope Garcia : You stayed behind 'cause of me, didn't you?

  Jennifer Jareau : Emily and I were worried.

• Penelope Garcia : We got a call from Bridgewater, Florida PD. The body of Rebecca Strong was found last night in a rest stop women's room with and without things.

  Luke Alvez : Whoa.

  Penelope Garcia : Yeah. And then it gets worse.

  Jennifer Jareau : All the tell-tale signs are here.

  David Rossi : Pentagram, legs and fingers gone.

  Emily Prentiss : There's even one neat aspect. Her earrings and jewelry are laid out equidistant on the floor.

  David Rossi : Sure as hell looks like him.

  Matt Simmons : Looks like who?

  Jennifer Jareau : Floyd Feylinn Ferell.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : A psychotic cannibal who'd been killing under the radar for years.

  Emily Prentiss : He killed ten prostitutes, then moved up to low-risk victims.

  Jennifer Jareau : He kept slipping through the cracks and avoiding justice, so people referred to him as "Lucky".

  David Rossi : The worst of it was he owned a barbecue joint. And he fed one of the victims to the search party.

• Penelope Garcia : The rest stop victim, Rebecca Strong, was a sex trade worker.

  Emily Prentiss : High-risk, like the early victims Ferell preyed on back in 2007.

  Penelope Garcia : After that, he graduated to low-risk victims like Sheryl Timmons, who's also the only known survivor.

  Emily Prentiss : Garcia, track down Sheryl.

  Penelope Garcia : On it.

• Luke Alvez : What was Rebecca like as a person?

  Dr. Tara Lewis : She's described as strong-willed, determined. Working to support her two kids.

  Matt Simmons : When was Rebecca last seen?

  Penelope Garcia : Uh... well, her boyfriend, and by "boyfriend" I mean "pimp", Jason Carlsbad, reported her missing when she didn't show up and donate to his college fund. I'm sending you deets right now.

  David Rossi : Normally, I would want to look at him. Pimps hurt women they exploit to gain control, but an M.O. this complex doesn't add up.

  Luke Alvez : Yeah, the cannibalism angle wouldn't make sense, either.

  Dr. Spencer Reid : Eroticizing the consumption of human flesh is a pretty specific fetish. Are we sure that he's copying that from Ferell?

  Emily Prentiss : We need to nail that down. Dave, Tara, go to the M.E.'s office. Matt and Spencer, head to Hazelwood State. Notorious criminals have fans who might want to copy their work. Luke, you and I will head to the PD and set up a base of operations with Detective Russ.

• Penelope Garcia : I guess I thought, I don't know, I thought I'd gotten over it by now.

  Jennifer Jareau : We were working this case when you got shot. It was the biggest physical trauma you've ever had. It's only natural that dredging up one would trigger memories of the other.

  Penelope Garcia : Okay. But, like, I put it in a box. I let it go.

  Jennifer Jareau : Really? You know it doesn't work that way, right?

  Penelope Garcia : You know what? It's been ten years, so, enough time for the wounds to heal. And although no amount of kitten videos is gonna make this better, let's get to work. What do you got?

• David Rossi : Anything on that victim who got away in 2007?

  Penelope Garcia : No. Uh, but... with what happened to Sheryl Timmons, anybody who knew how to take care of themselves would have receded into the vapors like she did, so...

  David Rossi : Okay. Well, she may be good at hiding, but she's no match for you. Let us know when you find her.

  Penelope Garcia : [irritably]  Okay, I'll let you know when I find her, because there's just me and I'm supposed to get all of the answers for all of you all the time, and it's not... it's not fair. It's...

  [calming down upon seeing JJ, she then stands up] 

  Penelope Garcia : I...

  [flustered, she leaves] 

  David Rossi : I guess I should have seen that coming.

  Jennifer Jareau : She's not doing well.

  David Rossi : I was just trying to encourage her.

  Jennifer Jareau : And you know, don't worry about Penelope, okay? I'll take care of her. We'll let you know when we find Sheryl Timmons.

• Penelope Garcia : Okay, I found an isolated warehouse on Shelby Lane midway between the search site where Sheryl was taken and Ferell's house.

  Matt Simmons : Any freight lines nearby?

  Jennifer Jareau : One runs right alongside it.

  Luke Alvez : Sheryl confirmed Ferell's story.

  Emily Prentiss : Is it possible we were actually wrong about him from the start?

• Derek Morgan : I'm really sorry this is triggering the trauma of that night.

  Penelope Garcia : Oh, I-I am moving on.

  Derek Morgan : All right, that's good. Did you know I prayed that night? Me. First time in a long time. I wanted to take your place. I still wish it was me who took that bullet.

  Penelope Garcia : No. No, I'm... I mean, yeah, it was scary, but I'm glad it was me. I know it really weirdly made me stronger.

  Derek Morgan : It did.

• Penelope Garcia : I come bearing something totally irrelevant, Marcus Manning's M.E. report.

  Jennifer Jareau : Thanks, Penelope. There has to be something in all of these files that proves Floyd committed those murders.

  Penelope Garcia : If he did do it, he hid it so well.

  Jennifer Jareau : Yeah, he did. Turns out he was a hell of a lot smarter than we thought, and there's no way that this was all just dumb luck.

  Penelope Garcia : Wait a minute. The M.E. says that there were five of Rebecca's fingers in Marcus' stomach.

  Jennifer Jareau : Yeah. And it's gross.

  Penelope Garcia : Rebecca was missing all of her fingers.

  [realization dawns on JJ] 

  Penelope Garcia : Rossi is testifying at the state hospital board right now. Call Prentiss.

• Penelope Garcia : [phone rings]  Oh, phone! Let's get it.

  [Picks up the phone] 

  Penelope Garcia : Woman of wonder, how may I assist thee?

• Penelope Garcia : I am going to recommit to living life to the fullest. Right now, to that end, I'd like to invite everybody over to my house for a celebration of life, liberty, and the pursuit of the responsible intoxication. To the home cave!