- Major Lilywhite: I've got work, and Ravi can't be alone.
- Peyton Charles: He can't?
- Major Lilywhite: He already got into the medicine cabinet. I had to pry a bottle of cough syrup away from him. He *bit* me.
- [Peyton stares]
- Major Lilywhite: I think he stole my only other work uniform but won't tell me where he put it. He offered to...
- [Air quotes]
- Major Lilywhite: "Pleasure me" for my car keys. Yeah, I think he was kidding, but I'm only 60% sure.
- Angus McDonough: The well gives shape to the water. The water gives life to the well. Like the bubble, I'm born to rise.
- Angus' Followers: [Chanting] So we rise.
- Don E: Yeah, that's not creepy.
- Clive Babineaux: [Explaining the process of getting permission to date co-workers] You go to Diana, in HR, on the fifth floor. You tell her about...
- Olivia Moore: [Starts singing] Go to Diana in HR / And tell her how you feel...
- Clive Babineaux: ...She gives you a waiver for legal and an official declaration form.
- Olivia Moore: [singing] Once you declare what's in your heart / It means your love is real
- Nellie: [singing] How can I find out who I am / When there's always someone else inside my head? / To be or not to be / It don't apply to me /'Cause I'm already dead
- Ravi Chakrabarti: [Planning a spa trip] Oh, yeah, Swedish. Plenty of hot rocks. And have the peeler get in there, I want to be flayed alive. Thanks.
- [Turns to Major]
- Ravi Chakrabarti: Know what I'm doing tomorrow?
- Major Lilywhite: Taking a super-weird trip to Ikea?
- Nellie: [On the phone] Sir, the contract allows for, and I quote, "Minor artistically valid changes." That's all this is.
- [Continues]
- Nellie: I didn't even make changes. I made *a* change, one minor change. Everyone in the show who had the AIDS virus now has the zombie virus. That's it. And I would like to think an intelligent man would appreciate the metaphor.
- [Yelling on the other end]
- Nellie: Look, Bub. You're in New York. I'm in Seattle. There's a militarized border wall and 10,000 zombies between you and my stage. Good luck stopping me.
- Stan: Who're you playing?
- Olivia Moore: An amazing role, thank you for asking. She has many layers to her and a very difficult accent, because we challenge the audience when we challenge ourselves.
- Olivia Moore: Gimme the line.
- Baron: Get out of the truck!
- Olivia Moore: Where's my second hijacker?
- Stan: Ah...
- [Looks at page]
- Stan: "Do what we say..." "Do what we say and you won't get..."
- Baron: "Get on your knees, fool!"
- Olivia Moore: Baron is blowing you off the stage right now, Stan, and you're just letting it happen!
- Stan: He's going off-script!