- Daffy Duck: So. You say you don't believe in Mysterious Phenomena of the Unexplained? Well, neither did I... until I met a ghost.
- Porky Pig: I don't get it. We only get rich the play bomb-stinks?
- Daffy Duck: Exactly! If the play closes on opening night, we get to keep all the money that the investors think we spent on the show!
- Porky Pig: But, we need an actor.
- Daffy Duck: We need a disgustingly BAD actor!
- Porky Pig: Ew. This guy really stinks.
- Daffy Duck: I know. Isn't it great?
- William Shakespeare's Ghost: This spinning typhoon is acting like a buffoon. I must cast ye a spelleth, to make him speak... Oooh, welleth!
- Taz: [Taz gets zapped by Shakespeare] What is in a name that what you call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet?
- [Daffy gets a magic book, in anger]
- Daffy Duck: Two can play at that game, buster!
- [Daffy puts on a magical hat]
- Daffy Duck: Abracadabra, wallakazaz, give me that Taz and make him a spaz!
- [Daffy zaps Taz]
- William Shakespeare's Ghost: Who beeth this thespian who fails at his job? This insufferable, baggy-eyed beast, what a... slob!
- Taz: [after getting zapped by the ghost] O happy dagger, this is my sheathe. There rust and let me die.
- Taz: [after getting zapped by the ghost] And there's the thing, wherein I'll catch the conscience of the King!
- William Shakespeare's Ghost: I tireth of battling this foolish duck. I'll fixeth his wagon, that stupid bird!
- [He zaps both Taz and Daffy]
- Daffy Duck: Good night, sweet prince. Parting in such sweet sorrow.
- [the crowd cheers in acclaim]
- William Shakespeare's Ghost: That, my dear folks, will be all.