Spoiler Alert (II) (2022)
Jim Parsons: Michael Ausiello
Photos
Quotes
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Michael Ausiello : [listening to the cupboard sound] Oh god! Am I going back in the closet?
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Kit Cowan : I'm... I'm gay.
[Marilyn looks at Michael]
Michael Ausiello : I'm gay, too.
Kirby : I am also gay.
[Kit looks at Kirby conforming]
Kirby : I am.
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Kit Cowan : I need you to go to my apartment and clean up.
Michael Ausiello : What do you want? You mean like... make the bed?
Kit Cowan : No. I need you to hide anything that looks... gay.
Michael Ausiello : You want me to de-gay your apartment?
Kit Cowan : Yes, de-gay my apartment.
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Michael Ausiello : I'm not really much of a drinker. I don't really like the taste, or the empty calories. What about you, drunkard or junkie?
Kit Cowan : I am a photographer.
Michael Ausiello : Mm, both then.
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Michael Ausiello : He has a rectal tumor the size of a Death Star, he needs a bed. We were promised a bed.
Nurse Ruth : All the beds are occupied, sir.
Michael Ausiello : *I don't care where you have to go and find one I don't care if you have to drive to Ikea and buy one. I don't care if you have to go to Jennifer Convertibles. Give my husband a bed!*
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Michael Ausiello : I love...
Kit Cowan : [overlapping] Love you.
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Michael Ausiello : I've always imagined that my life was like a typical romantic comedy.
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Kit Cowan : I wanna be your husband.
Michael Ausiello : You're calling me chattel.
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Marilyn : He needs to keep eating, Michael.
Michael Ausiello : Yes, definitely. He does.
Marilyn : And so do you.
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Michael Ausiello : I was watching Days of Our Lives with my mother.
Kit Cowan : Uh-huh.
Michael Ausiello : And she caught me literally drooling over a shirtless Bo Brady.
Kit Cowan : *Oh!* Ooh.
Michael Ausiello : And it is *awkward* to realize you're gay at the same moment your mother is realizing that you're realizing you're gay.
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Michael Ausiello : Did you have sex with Sébastien?
Kit Cowan : Yes.
[long pause]
Kit Cowan : I'm sorry I lied to you.
Michael Ausiello : I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I made you carry so much of my baggage for so many years
[Kit rolls his eyes]
Michael Ausiello : and making you feel like the bad guy so many times when you didn't deserve to. I'm sorry I never told you how good your ass looks in your khaki pants.
[Kit laughs]
Michael Ausiello : 'Coz it does. And I couldn't do it 'coz I was afraid if you understood how beautiful you are that you'd leave me.
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Kit Cowan : They all really like you, by the way.
Michael Ausiello : I feel like Nina hates me.
[laughs nervously]
Kit Cowan : No, no. If she didn't like you, she'd be much more accommodating.