- Woman in Bridal Gown: [angrily to man] I can't believe it, OK? My *honeymoon* night, OK? I will probably only have three or four more of these in my whole entire lifetime!
- David Lee Roth: [in tribal makeup and costume, to cashier] Gimme a bottle of anything, and a glazed donut... to go!
- Man with Blondes: [walks up to cashier, flanked by two scantily clad women] Ooh, my friend, I always hang out with two of 'em 'cause it's better for conversation, see, if there winds up being any, I don't have to be involved! Forget about it!
- [walks away, tugging at crotch of pants]
- Man with Blondes: Oof, ooh, It's humid in here tonight, isn't it, girls?
- Loud Woman: Can you HELP ME?
- [knocks bottles off of shelf]
- Loud Woman: My doctor said, I HAVE to TAKE a LAXATIVE!
- Cashier: Not in my store, you don't!
- Cashier: [eagerly] Can I help you?
- Woman in Sunglasses: [drops handful of Tic Tac packages on counter]
- Cashier: Ooh, breath mint.
- [pops mint into mouth, leans in]
- Cashier: Our *lips* are so *close*.
- Woman in Sunglasses: [shrieks] EWW! Not if you was the LAAAST immigrant grocer on *Earth*, honey!
- [leaves]
- Cashier: Son of a biscuit, my ancestors spit on your haircut!
- [spits out mint]