A Day at the Beach (2018)

Brandon Rogers: Flint Dicker, Blame, Sam, Grandpa George, Clifton, Sebastian, Jürgen Klausvonschwitz, Darlene, Lord Mingeworthy, Elmer, Lucius Cowpussy, Helen Brownstein

Photos 

Quotes 

• Flint Dicker : Now it's time to exploit someone and call it an interview.

  [turns to Helen] 

  Flint Dicker : How does it feel to be a loser?

  Helen : A what?

  Flint Dicker : A lifeguard.

  Helen : Well I've been one for about 3 hours now and I'm ready to quit!

• Flint Dicker : I'm Flint Dicker and you're watching the fucking news! It's a record pounding heat wave in this dog dick we call California. But don't take my word for it. Here's some assholes!

• Helen : Why aren't you assholes in school?

  Sebastian : Why aren't you?

  Helen : I got fired.

• Jurgen Klausvonscwitz : Is this purple? This feels like a purple to me. I said no secondary colors! That is for mine spring collection!

• Principal Morris : I don't think this is working out.

  Helen : I'm sorry Principal Morris, but I believe you have your head in your ass.

  Principal Morris : No, no, see, see, that language, that kind of language, we can't have that language here, you're the hall monitor for an elementary school for God's sake!

  Helen : Oh please, these kids are durable. Most of them go home to get molested.

  Principal Morris : I'm sorry Helen, but you're fired. Hand in your hall pass.

  Helen : [lifts up her shirt revealing her breasts]  I'll hand you these!

  [Principal Morris vomits] 

• Principal Morris : I don't think this is working out.

  Helen : I'm sorry Principal Morris, but I believe you have your head in your ass.

  Principal Morris : No, no, see, see, that language, that kind of language, we can't have that language here, you're the hall monitor for an elementary school for God's sake!

  Helen : Oh please, these kids are durable. Most of them go home to get molested.

  Principal Morris : I'm sorry Helen, but you're fired. Hand in your hall pass.

  Helen : [lifts up her shirt revealing her breasts]  I'll hand you these!

• Lord Mingeworthy : Well we're British, you see, and where we're from, lesbians don't exist.

  Lady Mingeworthy : Neither does toothpaste.

  Lord Mingeworthy : Or sunshine.

  Lady Mingeworthy : Or good food.

  Lord Mingeworthy : Or sobriety.

  [Both laugh as they drink from flasks] 

• Donna Phitts : When the hell am I gonna pass away?

  Sam : Oh cheer up, Ms. Grumpy Pants, and let's split this sandwich!

  [Sam takes out a knife to split the sandwich. Then Donna gets scared and screams] 

  Sam : Jesus Christ, you don't trust me with nothin' no more!

  Donna Phitts : No shit Sherlock!

  Sam : That is it! This picnic is over! We're going home!

  Donna Phitts : You motherfucker!

  Sam : And to teach you a lesson, you are carrying everything back but mostly 'cause I don't wanna!

• Lord Mingeworthy : Excuse me, we're British and curious. What's going on here?

  Wedding Guest : They're re sinking their periods. It's so romantic!

  Lady Mingeworthy : We make a big deal out of weddings too.

  Lord Mingeworthy : Yeah!