Crossing Swords (TV Series)

Unchained Monarchy (2020)

Maya Erskine: Princess Blossom

Quotes 

• [Sloane's bomb rocks the prison cells] 

  King Merriman : Blossom!

  Queen Tulip : Are you all right?

  Princess Blossom : I'm still alive, Mom. Don't make such a big deal out of everything. God.

  [another explosion causes the floor to building to shake even more violently] 

  Princess Blossom : Mama!

  Queen Tulip : Sorry, darling. I'm busy not making a big deal out of it.

• Patrick : I can't believe my first real girlfriend turned out to be a criminal mastermind.

  Princess Blossom : Hohoho! Okay, wow. Dating an assassin and didn't even notice. Just another man underestimating a woman's capacity for evil. Jeez.

  King Merriman : Hang in there, Patrick. All women are assassins of one stripe or another. Most of them just kill your dreams.

  Queen Tulip : Excuse me?

  King Merriman : The kid's feeling down, dear. Some light misogyny can be a real pick-me-up.

• [first lines] 

  [Patrick and Blossom return from the Minotaur's labyrinth and find the castle's inhabitants butchered] 

  Princess Blossom : I've got to find Mom and Dad!

  Patrick : Princess Blossom, wait!

  [they burst into the throne room] 

  Princess Blossom : Mom? Daddy!

  Patrick : Princess, please, it's not safe.

  Princess Blossom : Um, no shit, Patrick. That guy has an axe through his face!

  Patrick : We need to get you away from here.

  Princess Blossom : I wonder if, before he died, he had time to think, "Oh, fuck. There's an axe in my face."

  [both scream as burlap bags are dropped over their heads]