Family Guy (TV Series)

Bri, Robot (2019)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Lois Griffin : But Peter, there's one thing I still don't get. Why did you take the massage job in the first place?

  Peter Griffin : For you, Lois. I did it to earn enough money to buy a comb for your beautiful hair.

  Lois Griffin : Oh Peter, didn't you know? I *sold* my beautiful hair to buy you a bottle of massage oil.

  Peter Griffin : Great. So now I'm an unemployed masseuse with a bald wife. Merry fucking Christmas!

• Brian Griffin : Someday I'll be gone, and it'll be like I was never here at all.

  Meg Griffin : Aw, he is depressed.

  Lois Griffin : Sad little guy.

  Chris Griffin : Let's not project people emotions onto animals.

  Brian Griffin : I just want my story to live on, even after I'm gone. You know, I always did want to write my autobiography.

  Stewie Griffin : Yeah, it's hard to work when you get distracted whenever someone says "What's that?"

  Brian Griffin : [alertly]  What's what?

  Stewie Griffin : You know what? Maybe I can lend you a hand, Brian. I'll help you write your biography.

  Brian Griffin : Really? You-You'd do that?

  Stewie Griffin : Yes. After all, I helped Cleveland with his wardrobe.

  [cut to him watering the front lawn, and Cleveland passes by] 

  Stewie Griffin : Hey, Cleveland, you know I love you, but those jeans, they ain't for you.

  Cleveland Brown : [sadly]  I knew it. I think I just needed to hear it. Thank you, Peter's baby.

  Stewie Griffin : [Joe rolls by wearing a leather vest over his bare chest]  Uh-uh.

  Joe Swanson : [turning around]  Copy that.

• Brian Griffin : Well, thanks, everyone.

  Meg Griffin : What's wrong? You seem a little down.

  Brian Griffin : Nothing, it's just that... I don't know, my... my birthday is just... it's kind of a reminder that I'm now one year closer to death, with nothing to show for my time here.

  Peter Griffin : Can I get a Minion cake for my next birthday?

  Lois Griffin : We'll see, Peter.

  Peter Griffin : Like, a real one. Like-like, not you makin' it.

• Peter Griffin : Happy birthday, Brian.

  Lois Griffin : We bought you a cake with the groceries, so it got smashed with a jug of Tide in the car.

  Meg Griffin : Open your presents.

  Chris Griffin : Yeah. You got one from Rami Malek, star of "Mr. Robot".

  Brian Griffin : [opening the gift]  Wow, he gave me the dark circles around his eyes.

  Meg Griffin : [as he puts them on]  Aw, cool! Did he also include his dead-soul monotone?

  Brian Griffin : No, I don't... oh, oh, wait hang on.

  [sticking his head in the box, then taking it out] 

  Brian Griffin : [in Malek's monotone]  I didn't see it at first, because it was under some tissue paper.