Family Guy (TV Series)

Bri, Robot (2019)

Steve Callaghan: Blue Man, Cop

Quotes 

• Joe Swanson : You're all under arrest.

  Peter Griffin : Arrest? For what?

  Joe Swanson : This place is a brothel.

  Peter Griffin : What does that mean?

  Joe Swanson : Your co-workers are engaged in the world's oldest profession.

  Peter Griffin : Lead singer of the Pretenders?

  Joe Swanson : No, Peter. All these women are prostitutes. Cuff 'em, cop with a wife who's taller than him.

  Cop : Uh, my name's Gary.

  Joe Swanson : I'm sorry, I'm bad with names, but I'm good at remembering gigantic wives.

• Glenn Quagmire : Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.

  Peter Griffin : It's about time. Thanks to you, we got leap-frogged by Seamus' foursome.

  Joe Swanson : [seeing Seamus and his friends playing]  Ha. Golf club hands.

  Glenn Quagmire : Hey, could one of you spot me the greens fees? I blew all my money at the massage parlor.

  Peter Griffin : Sheesh, you're sure spending a lot of money at that place. How much you pay one of them masseuses?

  Glenn Quagmire : Eh, 200 bucks.

  Peter Griffin : 200 bucks? That's what I paid for Reading Railroad! What kinda medical benefits do those masseuses get?

  Glenn Quagmire : I think they see the Chinese vet down the street.

  Peter Griffin : Well, that's all the information I need to make a binding vocational choice. Guys, I'm gonna become a professional massage therapist.

  Glenn Quagmire : What?

  Joe Swanson : Are you serious, Peter?

  Peter Griffin : You bet. I could always use some extra cash. Plus, I've handled bigger challenges before. You know, I was once in the Blue Man Group.

  [cut to them ending a performance] 

  Blue Man : [seeing a green stain on the crotch of Peter's pants]  Peter, what's wrong with your paint?

  Peter Griffin : Remember when I asked for a five-minute break?