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Reviews
Black Spring Break: The Movie (1998)
Not since Citizen Kane has the film world witnessed such brilliance...
My life changed around April of this year. My friends and I were looking for something to do, so we rented a film that we never heard of. A film that was destined to take its place among the great movies of all time. That movie was, of course, Black Spring Break. From the fantastic lead acting of Daron Fordham and Kenny Flyy to the outstanding supporting work of Vince Caruso (as the nerdy white agent), this is a classic from beginning to end.
Brilliantly scripted by Fordham ("Southboy" himself!), this film is full of great scenes: Kenny Flyy's monologue about "b-----s," the woes of the left-behind friend, the bizarre security guard whose appearance was never explained, Vinny the agent's phone calls to his venomous wife, Southboy confronting Rayneesha on the beach about sleeping with Terry Miller, Vinny wearing a dress, the scheming of the villainous Crooklyn, and Vinny's last name changing in the last scene for no reason at all. Truly, this is an experience that is not to be missed. Watch it from beginning to end; nothing will prepare you for the shocking finale. Rent it immediately!
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992)
Ugghhhh!!
This is one of the worst movies ever made, and...wait, I take that back. This IS the worst movie ever made!! Bad acting! Bad writing! Bad directing! Abysmal. Just awful. Insufferable. Boring. Estelle Getty has never been worse. Neither has Sylvester Stallone (which says a lot). Standard buddy movie, only with an annoying mom character thrown in. A true groanfest. Never, under any circumstances rent or watch this movie, even if you're the biggest Sylvester Stallone fan in the world!
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
One of the funniest films of all time.
There just aren't enough good things you could say about this movie. Hilarious, clever, ribald, and very, very entertaining. Though it's not for people offended by bad language, if you don't mind it, you couldn't ask for a funnier movie. Oddly enough, my grandmother recommended this movie to me. One of the funniest movies I've ever seen, if not the funniest. Everyone in it does a great job. See it!
Revenge of the Nerds III: The Next Generation (1992)
Without a doubt, the worst movie I've ever seen!
Getting my eyes gouged out with a hot poker. Open-heart surgery without anesthetic. Becoming a quadruple-amputee. What do these things have in common? They're all things I'd rather do or have done to me than watch "Revenge of the Nerds 3" again. This movie is without a doubt the most god-awful piece of crap ever released! What were any of the people involved thinking? The acting writing, direction and situations were among the most pathetic I've ever seen on TV or anywhere else. "Revenge of the Nerds 3" is what's wrong with the world today. The writer and director fully deserve to be shot. DON'T SEE IT!!!!!! If one of your friends ever wants to watch it, kill them, then kill yourself for being friends with anyone who would even consider watching this. As for me, I wasn't lucky enough to have people like me to warn them against this travesty. But you still have a chance. Stay away from this one, or may God have mercy on your soul.