JWM-2 Reviews

Lost in Space (2018–2021)

The Martian, Serialized

[9/10 · 29 August 2020]

I'm rather surprised at all the negative reviews. I watched this show from beginning to end, binging it and wishing for more. Recently I started watching it again with my two young kids (10 and 7) and they both love it as well.

The acting, direction and production values are top notch. Yes, it is action-driven, but in a very science oriented way. All the people on the show are super-smart and need to science their way out of jams. I loved "The Martian" so this aspect of the show was a plus for me. I also love a good villain and Dr. Smith is the epitome of a "true neutral" adversary - she only cares about herself and her only motivation is to survive and do what's best for her. Parker Posey is terrific and one of the more underrated aspects of this show.

Yes, the constant roller coaster of problem after problem can be stressful to watch for some. And the family problems they all work through add to that. But to me this doesn't detract from a well constructed show with a cast that is throughly enjoyable to watch. Can't wait for Season 3.

Scoop (2006)

Woody Allen's funniest movie in years...

[8/10 · 20 August 2006]

This is, quite simply, one of most wonderfully hilarious films I've seen in a long, long time.

Everyone's in top form here. Jackman and Johansson deliver point-perfect performances, giving us in both their cases characters you wouldn't expect; Jackman as a charming British nobleman (with a flawless accent from the Aussie) and Johansson as a slightly nerdy, slightly immature, but incredibly persistent college journalism student. See if you can suppress a giggle when she snorts while laughing.

But Woody steals the show here, at his absolute neurotic best, delivering one-liner after one-liner at breakneck speed. The plot keeps you guessing a bit too, but it's really just a medium for the cast to flex their comedic chops.

If you're in the mood for a mystery/comedy, you're going to love Scoop.

The Descent (2005)

Breathlessly gripping and fun!

[9/10 · 10 August 2006]

As a big fan of Neil Marshall's previous film "Dog Soldiers," I had been looking forward to "The Descent" for quite some time, so yesterday a couple friends and I went out to a late night showing.

It was one of the best times we've had in a movie theater.

The film has an excellent, tight script that keeps the action moving, with believable characters in largely believable situations (strongly acted by a fabulous, largely unknown, cast). One of the amazing things about the film is how a very common injury - something thousands of doctors see every day - is one of the most tense, squirm-inducing moments on the screen.

And that scene, along with the cast's hair-raising squeeze through the caves, really primes the audience for the horror that comes afterward.

We all squealed, winced, gasped, laughed, and eventually clapped in appreciation at, in my humble opinion, one of the finest horror films to come along in years.

If you want to go the theater for a night of fun scares and entertainment, you will not leave disappointed!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Deja Vu All Over Again...

[7/10 · 16 July 2006]

All the while I was watching "Dead Man's Chest," I had the funny feeling I had seen this movie before.

We're introduced to new villains, new motives, and a new storyline that don't quite work as well as the tightly written, snappy original, but we still enjoy it because it features the characters we've come to know and love. Furthermore, because the third portion of the trilogy was filmed simultaneously, there's an odd feeling of sadness and discord in that the film is merely only a bridge to the third, a whetting of the appetite if you will until the final resolution.

In other words, it's "Back To The Future, Part II" all over again.

Not that that's an entirely bad thing. Johnny Depp is pure eye candy on the screen; no matter how ridiculous the plot, how implausible the situation, he holds our attention, and rightly so, because he IS Captain Jack Sparrow, and he's so wonderful at it. Keira and Orlando are in fine form too, with both quite possibly looking even more lovely than they did in the first film. And, oh, are they all having fun up there.

So when you see it in the theater, and everyone should see this on the big screen, just keep in mind that BTTFPT was the weakest of the bunch. But rejoice in that our favorite characters are back and happily cavorting on the big screen once again.

Silent Hill (2006)

Beautiful, but sadly disappointing adaptation...

[6/10 · 27 April 2006]

Fans of the video game, as am I, are sure to enjoy this big screen adaptation of the creepy, spooky survival thriller. The effects are great and truly beautiful in parts. The grimy, dank otherworldly atmosphere looks gorgeous on screen in all it's bleached out watercolor glory.

The cast gets some serious props too for making the best of what they're given, especially young Jodelle Ferland who impressed in a difficult, creepy role. It's also good to see that Laurie Holden has life (and work) after "The X-Files."

The big problem with "Silent Hill" however, especially for those that haven't played the game, is sadly the script, which seems to go out of its way to make its characters do stupid, implausible things, with a complete lack of motivation, especially in the first 15 minutes of the film. A lot of people walked out of the theater during my viewing, and many more were laughing at the ridiculousness of the plot and dialogue. I think the closest comp of "Silent Hill" is "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within," another video game movie that looks fabulous on screen but was barely watchable due to the insipid plot.

Bottom line: Wait for the video. Should be out right around Halloween.

Alien (1979)

A Movie Lover's Anecdote...

[10/10 · 24 April 2006]

There's really not much to say about "Alien" that hasn't already been said. It's one of my favorite films of all time and I'd still argue that's it's the best thing Ridley Scott has ever done (and that's saying a lot). So instead of rehashing the same old reviews, I thought I'd share with y'all my first experience with Alien...

Back in the summer of 1981, my parents decided to take my brother and I to a drive-in. Yes, an actual drive-in. The feature presentation was this swanky new film everyone had been buzzing about, some newfangled adventure movie y'all know as "Raiders of the Lost Ark." The movie started around eight, my Dad provided us with tons of snacks and my brother and I first got to see Indiana Jones from the comfort of my parents' wagon, snuggled in our sleeping bags in the back seat.

When the film was over, my brother and I were supposed to go to sleep while my parents watched the second half of the double feature, one of their favorite films, "Alien."

I was seven years old.

Needless to say, I didn't go to sleep that night...

Needless to say, I didn't sleep without a light on for a month...

Needless to say, "Alien" became one of my favorite films as well and that night, as frightening as it was for a seven year old, became one of my favorite childhood memories as a thirty-two year old man.

If you have never seen this film, savor it. Find a dark, dank evening, turn off all the lights, and soak in every moment.

Just make sure the kids are really asleep...

Inside Man (2006)

Sauce For The Goose...

[8/10 · 23 April 2006]

With a rainy Saturday having taken New York by storm (ba dum, ching!) I decided to take in Inside Man, not really having any expectations going in. In short, it was delightful.

The plot is paper-thin - I mean really, you can figure out the ending easily halfway through, if not much earlier. But that really doesn't matter since it's simply a medium for this incredible cast to exercise their acting chops under Spike's lighthearted hand.

Everyone looks like they're having a blast in this movie, including Spike Lee who, from the very first shot of Coney Island's famous Cyclone roller coaster, paints a loving picture of his home town. Denzel and Owen are both in fine form, reveling in every line of their little cat-and-mouse game, Christopher Plummer looks every bit as dashing as he did in the "Sound of Music," and Jodie Foster, having grown even more beautiful with age, is positively magnetic playing an icy cold woman of influence.

Go see this movie now, or at least be sure to rent it when it comes out. While you may find yourself wishing the plot had a bit more meat on it's bones, you'll certainly savor every line this cast lavishes over your plate. Mmmm...dialogue

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

Have your kids read the books when they're 10 instead...

[7/10 · 11 April 2006]

Finally got around to renting this. My thoughts, not necessarily in order:

The Good

Great production values, beautiful scenery, effects. The acting is, by and large, fabulous. The kids hit all the right notes, Liam is perfect as Aslan, Mike Madsen is perfect as a wolf as well. Very good adaptation, very true to the novel.

The Bad

The soundtrack is awful. Couldn't they have come up with something better than that terrible moaning at inappropriate moments? It's actually really jarring in places. Possibly because of the novel, the pacing is horrible. It really is a boring movie in some parts.

The Disappointing

I remember reading these books lovingly as a ten year old kid. Watching them on the screen as an adult sadly disappoints I think, in part, because the sense of wonder is drowned by the heavy handedness of the material that a ten year old would likely not pick up (or ignore in favor of Lewis' wonderful sense of imagination). When Aslan said "It is finished," I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.

The movie also suffers in comparison to the "Lord of the Rings." Once you've seen an army of Uruk-Hai and goblins, armies of minotaurs and tigers just look, well, silly.

Bottom line: Rent it. It's worth seeing once for the kid actors and the spectacle but don't expect it to re-create the sense of wonder you felt as a kid.

The Aristocrats (2005)

A Comedy for Comedians...

[7/10 · 12 March 2006]

I had been wanting to see this film since it first came out, but only recently got around to renting it. It's good, very good, and blindingly funny in spots.

Problem is, it's a one hit wonder. Everyone has different senses of humor, different tastes as to what's gross, appalling, offensive and such. Because of this, during some parts I had tears rolling down my cheeks (especially Kevin Pollack & Gilbert G.) and others, well, not so much.

And when the movie's not funny, it's kinda boring. There's only so long and so much you can talk about a single joke, and an inside joke for comedians at that. For those of us out of the loop, there's only so many times you can see someone laughing at their peers before it starts to get old.

So my recommendation is to rent the film, but don't expect to laugh the entire way through.

Deep Rising (1998)

Cheesy, but likable, popcorn flick...

[8/10 · 10 January 2006]

Deep Rising is a guilty pleasure of mine. It's one of those films I rented on a whim and and simply fell in love with.

Is it a great film? No.

Does it have a great script? Not really, and it's downright silly in parts.

Does it have great acting? Eh, there's been better...

But the effects are good, the characters are likable, the creature is neat, and somehow it all comes comes together to make an enjoyable B schlock horror/comedy that, in my case anyway, leaves me with a big smile on my face.

Oh and as an added bonus, Famke Janssen is simply lovely in this film. Rent it on a rainy day and you won't be disappointed.

Serenity (2005)

A decent popcorn flick, but come on...

[6/10 · 9 January 2006]

I went to see Serenity at the urging of one of the numerous fanboys out there, who pestered me for weeks before I finally relented. I had never seen the TV show before but had a decent idea of what the movie was about. I enjoyed the film on the big screen, it held my interest all the way through and was a likable popcorn flick (think 'The Mummy' in space).

But let's set the record straight, this movie is not worth watching more than once. It never made me want to watch the TV show. It's certainly not worth buying unless you find it in the bargain bin at Blockbuster. It's an enjoyable renter on a rainy Saturday, nothing more.

And to all the rabid fan reviewers here who blindly encourage people to see it more than once and buy every iota of merchandise, I say, in the words of William Shatner, "get a life!"

Magnolia (1999)

Ramblings of a talented mind

[5/10 · 13 February 2000]

By all accounts, I should have loved this movie. It had an all-star cast, magnificent direction, and several deeply moving plot lines. Unfortunately, it just didn't come together at all...even after three hours.

Anyone who loves film should at least see this movie for the performances...but wait for the video. This was by far the longest three hours I've ever sat in a movie theater.

Dogma (1999)

Calling all Catholic cynics...

[8/10 · 14 November 1999]

As a confirmed Catholic who has admittedly become cynical towards his religious establishment, I found Dogma to be an enjoyable poke at what Smith sees as wrong with organized religion. Now, mind you, this is not an anti-catholic movie -- in fact, it's quite the opposite. All it's saying is that sometimes we can get so caught up in arguing over the rules of our religion, that sometimes we can lose sight of the faith itself. Any catholic who hasn't *ahem* religiously gone to church in awhile should see this movie -- it might just hit home with them.

It's not perfect -- it gets cheesy in parts, Fiorentino and Rickman have given better performances. Overall, though, an enjoyable and thought-provoking piece of filmmaking.

Out of Sight (1998)

Great chemistry

[9/10 · 13 August 1999]

Although I had no desire to see this film when it was in the theater, my roommate convinced me to rent it recently and I was really blown away. It takes a very simple formula -- con is attracted to woman cop (& vice versa) -- and makes a great film.

The dialog was top notch, the characters (both lead and supporting) were engrossing, and the chemistry between Clooney and Lopez was some of the best I've ever seen.

I wholeheartedly recommend this film: 9/10 -- one point lost for this annoying freeze-frame tic that the director had -- rent it and you'll see what I mean.