UprTupr Reviews

911: In Plane Site (2004 Video)

Gives Conspiracy Theorists a Bad Name

[1/10 · 7 July 2005]

Not since "Fahrenheit 9/11" have I seen such bombastic, utterly laughable garbage purporting to be "truth".

Through the use of obviously doctored video, mysterious audio added to video, and statements taken out of context, host von Kleist attempts to hook the viewer into believing that 9/11 was all a big government "plot", "conspiracy", "scheme", "shell game", etc.

A "pod" on UAL Flight 175? Nope. Try the shadow of the right engine since the sun was shining in that direction.

A "flash" upon impact? Sorry. Metal on metal sparking and/or video enhancement.

An explosion at the base of WTC 2 BEFORE the collapse? Obviously doctored video since if you look at what is supposed to be the south tower it has the same exact damage as the north tower. (But I believe von Kleist said this was due to a video "glitch" in his "director's" cut. How convenient. ) No windows on the plane? How far away was the viewer and how long did they have to see the plane before it hit? Being a pilot I know from experience that at 500mph and close to a mile away you can't discern much detail on an aircraft. And considering that airliner windows are less than a foot square this would be consistent. Go out to an airport someday and park about a half-mile from the approach path and watch the airliners come in. See how much detail you can actually see. Anyone who bothered to look for photos of the second plane will find them with the UAL logo on the tail and UAL's paint scheme.

No other security camera footage at the Pentagon? It obviously didn't occur to von Kleist or his handlers that the Pentagon is a high security building and providing footage from other cameras would have compromised security by revealing their location.

"Pull" the building? Nowhere on the video is the use of this term explained. It's taken completely out of context.

As for WTC 7? Watch the History Channel's presentation of Greatest Engineering Disasters in their Modern Marvels series and all of this is explained. There were no preplanted explosives or any other such nonsense.

And as for the missing debris from the plane that hit the Pentagon? In this case watch the National Geographic Channel's presentation of "Seconds From Disaster: The Pentagon" for a truthful explanation.

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

No Actual Butterflies Were Harmed During Filming

[26 January 2004]

I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by this Kutcher vehicle. Not being of that generation, and not having seen any of his other movies, I went into this picture with an open mind.

Here we have a somewhat new take on the "time travel" theme. Instead of a fancy machine, Kutcher uses a sort of telepathy much like Christopher Reeve in "Somewhere in Time". Except in this story ripples in time have dire consequences.

I won't spoil the picture by giving away the plot, but if you like time travel stories you'll like this movie. Who hasn't wanted to go back and change something in their childhood?

Runaway Jury (2003)

Anti-gun Propaganda Disguised As a Legal Thriller

[5 December 2003]

Well the Hollywood left is at it again. According to previous posts, the original novel was about the tobacco industry. Yet now it is changed to the gun industry. Isn't that interesting? Since "big" tobacco is already getting sued by people who didn't have sense enough to quit, what better time to put out an anti-gun industry piece. With people and cities like Cincinnati already trying to sue the industry, the timing of this movie is perfect.

As we've already seen in society, personal responsibility is going out the window. Almost every day now someone is suing somebody else for something. "The coffee was too hot!". "I got fat from eating their food!", etc. Now along comes a movie about a woman suing a gun company over the actions of a nutcase.

Never mind that guns are used by many people each day for self defense and are responsible for saving numerous lives. We'll just forget that and talk about how bad they are and inflate a few statistics along the way.

There was a payoff in the movie that exceeded $100 million for the widow. Care to guess how much of that the attorney got? Remember, anytime you hear about excessive awards like this, an attorney is pocketing about 33% of it. Not to mention book deals. Don't forget Chief Moose of the DC sniper case, who quit the police force so he could make his millions. People like this, who are not exactly role models themselves, love to make money off of the tragedies of others. What was it that Shakespeare wrote? "First, kill all the lawyers."

Bowling for Columbine (2002)

Moore Lies. Moore Deceit.

[19 July 2003]

The fact that this "documentary" won an Oscar isn't that far fetched when you look at the Hollywood left. We've got Martin "Not In My Name!" Sheen, a confirmed liberal who supported bringing illegal immigrants with AIDS into this country. (Just as long as they weren't in his neighborhood). Then you've got Mr. and Mrs. Tim Robins, long time supporters of a socialist agenda. And too many others to name. While the big Hollywood types applauded the Oscar win, many in the audience booed. Gee, I wonder why? Could it be that the Academy doesn't speak for the majority?

Moore's editing of the film leaves the viewer to believe events occured a certain way when they actually didn't. Case in point: the trip to the bank to open an account and get a gun. He didn't walk out of the bank that day with the thing, but that's what he wants you to believe. Just like the rest of the film, it's all a flim-flam.

There's been so much backlash relating to the Oscar win that a movement is actually under way to have it revoked. And personally I hope it succeeds.

Solaris (2002)

Ugh!

[2/10 · 3 December 2002]

I can't believe I wasted the time to see this movie. I didn't go to see George Clooney's butt, but was expecting something a little more dramatic. Instead we're treated to a "sleep inducing" device with an "ER" star.

If you liked "Dead Ringers" you'll probably like this. But that movie almost put me to sleep too.

The French Atlantic Affair (1979)

Amateur Radio Saves The Day!

[8/10 · 26 November 2002]

A pretty good mini-series (even before anybody knew what a mini-series was) with lots of twists and turns. Pretty involving storyline based on the book of the same name. Just wish it was available on video, but you might pick it up on TBS some day.

Only bad thing was the total unbelievability of two 10 year old kids with amateur extra class licenses and enough equipment to make any ham salivate.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

That's it?!

[5/10 · 21 January 2002]

I guess you've got to be Tolkien fan to appreciate this movie. While the SFX were really good, especially the battle with the Orcs in the mines, I found this story hard to like. It literally "dead ends" with no clear resolution to this part of the story, although there are two more movies coming along after it. (At least when "The Empire Strikes Back" ended there was some sort of ending.)

Oh well. I'll probably see the other two just for the sake of seeing a completed story. But is this movie by itself a huge hit? In a word: Nope.

Josie and the Pussycats (2001)

Mildly Entertaining

[6/10 · 5 September 2001]

This is probably one of the better efforts to create a movie based on a cartoon. "Rocky and Bullwinkle" bombed, "Inspector Gadget" was, well, you know.

The music was lively enough and several of the tracks are actually pretty good. ("Three Small Words", "Pretend to be Nice"). Although a golden opportunity was missed. With a little better writing this movie could have been another "Charlie's Angels".

It certainly is not a bomb, and is very watchable. Like "Mission to Mars", just put your brain on hold for a while and you'll enjoy it. (Provided you can get past all of the product hype for Target. I haven't seen this much advertising for them since "Survivor".)

Richard Pryor: Live in Concert (1979)

THE Most Vulgar Performance I have Ever Seen.

[1/10 · 26 August 2001]

I don't mind some adult humor, but this feature was just downright dirty. The first 10 minutes consisted of Pryor swearing at some guy taking pictures, followed my even more profanities. I don't know what happened between that time the the last 5 minutes because I walked out. After seeing this I never looked at Richard Pryor the same way again. And to think that he actually went on to host a childrens' show.

If profanity and tasteless, unfunny dirty jokes make you laugh, then you'll probably enjoy this. But if you're an "old-fashioned" type, then don't bother.

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Technical Inaccuracies Abound

[16 June 2001]

It was just too long for it's own good. While most people will not notice, being a Pacific war buff I noticed way too many shots of modern destroyers, Aegis cruisers, and modern carriers made up to look like WW II era ships. They should have lopped off 1 hour of this movie and made more CGI shots of historically accurate ships.

Other than that, again, it was just too long and the relationships are "by the book". And the scenes of the Japanese flag officers are formulaic at best.

Rent "Tora! Tora! Tora!" to see the drama and character development you won't see in "Pearl Harbor".

Red Dawn (1984)

Excellent Reason For The Second Amendment

[6/10 · 16 May 2001]

While the critics pretty much panned this movie, there's credence in some of the actions which take place. During the evening of the first attack at Calumet we see Col. Bella ordering a Russian officer to obtain forms 4473 from the gun stores. This is the form everyone who purchases a gun is required to fill out and sign. This later leads to all of the "trouble makers" i.e. gun owners, being rounded up and sent to the "re-education camp". Should a foreign army actually invade the USA this no doubt would take place everywhere behind the lines.

Even though this is a work of fiction, there is a very important message about the second amendment here. Not so much to protect the citizens from a corrupt government, but also to defend from a foreign one.

Josie and the Pussy Cats in Outer Space (1972–1974)

Birth of the First Pokemon

[11 April 2001]

"A long time ago..." Okay, only 30 years, Josie and the Pussycats introduced us to what was probably the first Pokemon: Bleep. Like the pocket monsters of today, about all he could utter was his (her?) name: "Bleep! Bleep! Bleep!" This wasn't much different from the original "Josie", but the dialog and music were certainly better than Pokemon. Like most modern video games, I'll take any of the classics instead.

The Billion Dollar Threat (1979 TV Movie)

A "Bond"-ish Adventure

[5/10 · 30 March 2001]

Dale Robinette plays a James Bond type character out to foil a mastermind who plans to extort a billion dollars from the government by threatening to destroy the ozone layer. There are the usual "Q" type gadgets here, from the burning dental floss to the shotgun that shoots missiles. While not Academy Award material, this film has plenty of thrills worthy of a good TV movie, sport.

RoboCop 2 (1990)

Possibly THE Worst Sequel of All Time

[2/10 · 22 March 2001]

Nothing in this movie made sense. OCP decides to take a perfectly good Robocop and overhaul his memory, thereby treating him as "product" when clearly "The Old Man" thought of him as a person at the end of the first movie. Murphy's resolution with his family is far too brief, and some of the action is overly violent. My advice: Watch the first ten minutes and the last 10 minutes. Trash everything in between.

Charlie's Angels (2000)

Impossible. Improbable. Inane. FUN!!!!

[7/10 · 14 November 2000]

Looks like somebody finally made a good movie based on a TV show. (I didn't see "The Mod Squad" and don't want to!) This movie is a rollercoaster ride from start to finish. Full of energy and great music, the only thing better than the "Matrix"-like fight scenes is Cameron Diaz's smile! Bill Murray is also a hoot as Bosley. Even Crispin Glover's villain is unique.

Batman & Robin (1997)

Enough with the Florescent/Day-glow Effects!

[3/10 · 5 November 2000]

This is the second (and hopefully last!) Batman movie in which actors salaries are the main attraction. Despite all of the special effects, new Batmobile, and the introduction of Batgirl, the film just doesn't do it. It's all just an excuse to pay Arnold big bucks and start another toy line. Lets go back to concentrating on one villain like the first movie.

U-571 (2000)

Some Truth, Good Submarine Sequences

[5 October 2000]

While it's true the British actually cracked the German Enigma cipher, American forces did capture a U-boat intact (U-505) during the war. The U-505's code books and cipher machine were captured by the USS Guadalcanal during 1944. Some tension ensued following this "victory" because the American and British high commands were afraid the Germans would learn of the capture and change the code. Captain Gallery of the Guadalcanal, not being in the ULTRA "loop", was unaware that the Enigma code had already been broken and therefore didn't realize what damage this could do. But the Germans believed the sub to be lost with all hands. Let's have a movie about this.

Midway (1976)

Dramatic License Taken on Historical Figures

[23 January 2000]

Watching this movie you'd think everybody in the war got along and were all happy and likeable. Sorry. The Hal Holbrook character Joe Rochefort was very easy to perturb. Had a Captain Garth approached Rochefort, he no doubt would have had his head handed to him on a platter. Not to mention Halsey's ire.

The Gallant Hours (1960)

Disappointing Compression of History

[23 January 2000]

While the movie was very good, I didn't like the compression of two very key events in the Pacific war into literally one day when they actually took place months apart. I was also hoping to see Halsey in action at the Battle of Leyte Gulf. But I guess those hours weren't too gallant. (Especially when Halsey received the infamous "the world wonders" message from Nimitz.)

Executive Decision (1996)

Gripping!

[8/10 · 2 July 1999]

A tense, gripping, edge-of-your-seat movie. Not a lot of action, but the suspense more than makes up for it. Don't miss this one!

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Definitely Worth Seeing

[7/10 · 19 May 1999]

As always you cannot rely entirely on what critics say. TPM is a very good movie with some of the most elaborate special effects in history. While mid-movie it's a little slow, it builds up fast at the end. It's likely to be a bigger hit with little kids because of the young main character, but adults will enjoy it too.

The Beast of War (1988)

"Das Boot" in a Tank

[8/10 · 4 May 1999]

A surprisingly excellent war film about the Russian invasion of Afghanistan. The characters are memorable, the acting sincere, the location authentic. Even though it was not actually filmed in Afghanistan it still manages to convey the story. A "must see".