Pat-88 Reviews

Batman & Robin (1997)

Very bad

[1/10 · 14 August 2000]

Batman 1 is a good movie. Batman Returns is also good, but not as good as the first movie. Batman Forever is kinda lame. Now here's Batman & Robin. This one is the worst Batman movie of them all. I could list many things wrong about this movie. The entire movie look extremely campy. It looks almost like the old Batman TV show. Take my advice, don't watch this movie. It's really bad.

*

Final Fantasy VIII (1999 Video Game)

Good Role-Play Game

[26 September 1999]

The ones who hated this game didn't even play the actual video game. How the hack they know that the storyline sucks. The demo version only has some of the game, not all of it. The storyline doesn't suck at all. I thought it was pretty alright for a Role-Play instead of those annoying storylines on the Zelda games (When Link had to rescue Zelda over and over again Jezzzzz....) The only reason you thought the storyline wasn't good because the demo version didn't tell you what's going on.

Please give this game a chance, it may not be perfect. But it still a good game. Maybe you hate this game because you're a Nintendo 64 fan and you just hate the Playstation system altogether.

My Rating: ****

Drive Me Crazy (1999)

Nothing Special

[24 September 1999]

Drive Me Crazy wasn't as bad as other teen films I've seen in the past. This one was at least watchable and got some moments. The problem with this movie is the plot (like always). It's not original. Some scenes were kind a stupid. I laugh a few times, but nothing big. This movie was just okay, don't expect much out of it.

But I like American Pie more (which I gave **1/2).

**

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (1998 Video Game)

OH MY GOD! This game sucks!!!

[23 September 1999]

Ewwwwwwwww.... Why everyone enjoy this game so much? The storyline is the same like in all the other Zelda games. And The controls are horrible. Please... Avoid the hype and buy Final Fantasy VIII instead. You'll thank me later. I beat this game in one week. It's very easy and too short.

Outside Providence (1999)

Crap!

[3 September 1999]

This movie sucks! This isn't nearly as good as Dumb & Dumber, Kingpin, and There's Something Mary. One of the lamest and worst Farrelly's movie ever written. Avoid at all costs.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

Funny but true!

[29 August 1999]

The funniest movie ever made. Some people didn't like this film because it cuss so many times. Guess what... that's what the movie is all about. cussing and r-rated movies. This movie blows me away and it much better than the television show. And a lot funnier too.

****

Tammy and the T-Rex (1994)

Tammy and the animatronic T-Rex

[24 August 1999]

This movie was truly horrible. Give me a break! A kid died, then put his brain into an animatronic T-Rex. That the plot? You can do better than that. How can a dinosaur talk on the telephone? That the stupidest thing I have ever seen in a movie before. The only good part in this film, you guess it... the striptease. Thats the only good scene. The rest of this film is pure crap. And I never want to see it ever again. It sooooo bad.

No Stars

Gymkata (1985)

THIS MOVIE SUCKS A FATTY!

[24 August 1999]

Oh lord... does this movie ever suck. ewwwwwwww.... this was so bad. This movie sucks even more than the people made it out to be. I didn't know that the movie would suck this much. Please avoid Gymkata at all costs. WHY? Did I ever wasted my time with this garbage?

No Stars

Nothing But Trouble (1991)

Come on! It wasn't that bad

[22 August 1999]

I thought this movie was good, but not great. It still does have some funny moments. The movie should have been better. Like American Pie, this is one of those movies that you can watch on a boring saturday afternoon.

**1/2

Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

BEWARE OF UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: THE RETURN!!!

[1/10 · 21 August 1999]

Am I watching a direct-to-video movie? Without the doubt the worst movie I've ever seen. This little suckfest has it all! Bad acting, special effects, plot, you name it!

They should've banned this movie at every theater in the entire world. This film was sooooooooo bad. Ugh... you'll think that your local theater have cheated you by making you watch a direct to video release movie. People have to be warn of Universal Soldier: The Return. Its a deadly virus that contains you to have Brain Tumors. Please warn your love ones about Universal Soldier: The Return. Before its too late.

No Stars

A Night at the Roxbury (1998)

Night at the Suckbury

[21 August 1999]

This movie almost received the award for worst comedy of the millennium. But luckily for them, Chairman of the Board been released. Again, there wasn't a single funny moment in the entire picture. You can't even crack a smile, yet again there was some funny scenes at the beginning of the movie. But it will repeat them again and again later in the film which make you fall asleep so fast.

1/2*

Bowfinger (1999)

I'll disagree with steve layne's comment

[14 August 1999]

Yeah right... this one blows American Pie and Austin Powers 2 away. American Pie wasn't that funny, it was. But not funnier than this. That movie was sooooo over-rated. This movie has it all. I'll laugh at this movie more than those movies. The funniest movie of 1999. Go see it!!!!

***1/2

The Faculty (1998)

Okay

[1/10 · 11 August 1999]

I thought this movie was okay, it should have been better. Some scenes were pretty lame and stupid. And some are a bit spooky. This movie wasn't as good as other horror movies like The Blair Witch Project, Scream 2, Halloween , and The Haunting which is much better in my opinion. It wasn't good or bad. It a pretty average horror movie.

**

Celebrity Deathmatch (1998–2007)

Great Show!

[9 August 1999]

This is a great show. Celebrities beating the crap out of each other is pretty funny and sometimes entertaining. If you haven't seen this show before, you should check it out. It rocks!

WARNING: This show contains graphic clay violence.

I give this show ***1/2

Chairman of the Board (1997)

worst comedy of the millennium!!!

[9 August 1999]

I'm afraid so. Chairman of the Board doesn't have a single scene that you'll might laugh at. Which make this movie deserve the award for worst comedy of the millennium, but not worst picture. That award go to Troll 2 which is even worse than Chairman of the Board.

This movie wasn't even entertaining. I can make a much funnier movie by filming my friends making goofy faces and make a movie out of that. That how unfunny the jokes were in Chairman of the Board. I'll have to agree with the people here who hated this movie as much as I do.

Please to god DON'T WATCH CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD!!!

No Stars

Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011)

I WANT THEM BACK!!!! :(

[7 August 1999]

I love this show. Too bad, they're not on the air anymore because no one didn't liked it. Why didn't they take South Park off the air too? This wasn't as bad as South Park was. This one got a little bit of cussing.

Mike Judge, please being it back. This is a really great show unlike King of the hill. This one got a MST3K style to it, Beavis and Butthead put-down music videos instead of B-movies. Sometimes they watch music videos, they like.

I really don't know what the big deal about the fire thing. Its just a 5-year-old committed that crime. And this isn't a show for anyone under 13 anyway. It's a teen show for chrissakes.

I give this show, ****

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Face it... its horrible okay.

[6 August 1999]

Plain and simple. This movie does suck. The story and the acting pretty much sucks. You can't forget about the corny effects. What were they thinking making a live-action movie out of the Super Mario Brothers? The Super Mario Brothers doesn't have any super powers what-so-ever! The special effects ruined the entire picture from being a bit entertaining. Sorry, but this movie bores me to death. There's no point to it at all. I would rather play the game instead.

*

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

STILL, painfully unfunny as the first movie was

[6 August 1999]

Yes, Kevin's quest continues again with the same old dumb booty traps. Yep... such like the first dumb Home Alone movie. People keep on getting hurt by some more booty traps, which isn't a funny thing. If you think getting hurt is funny. Things keep on getting much worse on Home Alone 3....

*

Home Alone (1990)

Painfully Unfunny

[6 August 1999]

Funny Movie Ever Made? Yeah, if you think breaking every bone in your body is a laughing riot. Everything about this movie and it sequels is not funny. Only people keep on getting hurt by wired booty traps which isn't a funny thing, if it did happen to you. I only recommend this movie to anyone who think falling down is funny.

*

Dennis the Menace (1987 TV Movie)

STAY AWAY!!!!

[6 August 1999]

You're better off with the 1993's Dennis the Menace. This one was so bad, it make Dennis the Menace: Strikes Back and the 1993 version look like American movie classics. PLEASE AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COSTS!!!! There's much better movies out there than this stupid pile of bones.

I give it No Stars

Weird Science (1985)

It sure does live up the title

[6 August 1999]

I think this movie was weird. A bit too strange, you ask me. That fat poop monster was disgusting, I almost lost my supper. For some strange reason, I started to enjoy this weird little movie because of the strange storyline. This is on my list of the most strangest movies I've ever, and for some strange reason I liked it!

***

American Pie (1999)

It's okay

[5 August 1999]

This movie was okay, but a little bit too over-rated. Almost all of the funniest scenes been shown on the commericals on T.V. It ruins most of the movie for me. The movie's still funny, but not as much as the people say it is.

**1/2

Shark Attack (1999 TV Movie)

Painfully bad

[5 August 1999]

The worst shark movie ever made. Yeah even better than those two god-awful Jaws sequels: Jaws 3D & Jaws The Revenge. Check this out: Some people trying to catch a huge white shark at a small lake. That's odd, they usually appear in the ocean. If anyone have seen a shark in a river or lake before, please tell me.

If you thought the shark looks fake in Jaws. This shark looks so fake, your eyes will pop out. Did I already mention you about the bad acting? Pretty lousy, you ask me. Don't watch it. It's not worth your time. I am really sorry that I've wasted my time on this stupid movie.

No Stars

The Haunting (1963)

Re-make is better! This one sucks!

[5 August 1999]

I don't understand why everyone prefer this movie over the re-make (which is far, far better in my opinion). It doesn't have any creepy special effects and the sound just plain sucks. I really don't know why everyone hated the re-make version of this movie. That film rocks! This one pretty much sucks and boring to look at. It not very entertaining as the re-make is.

*1/2

Can't Hardly Wait (1998)

Can't Hardly Wait For This Movie To End

[4 August 1999]

Ugh... I thought 10 Things I Hate About You was the worst teen movie ever made.

I really don't know why movies like this keep on getting made. Mostly the people who love these kind a movies are teeny boppers. The jokes were never original and the acting was plain awful. Seth Green's talent is wasted in this film. He's performance in Austin Powers is much better than this.

The way these people talk. Ugh... Its so annoying, can you please talk normal. Not someone on crack. I can't stand the way these people talk, it get on my nerves.

If you owned a copy of this movie, PLEASE TOSSED IT INTO A BIG BONFIRE. Its a great replacement for campfire wood.

No Stars all the way! And a really big thumb down as well. Now, can someone get this movie away from me?????