Kay-18 Reviews

Secrets & Lies (1996)

Limited, but worth watching.

[14 January 1999]

Excellent title for an adoption movie. But, I think they were a little confused about where the secrets and lying are most perpetrated. Most mothers are not seeking protection from their lost children. This was the first movie I'd ever seen that explored adoption from a mother's perspective. I would not want viewers to think that she is representative of us. It is about adoption and that particular mother character, but it is not definitive of the entire experience of mothers who lose their children. Nor does this movie represent the entire adoption experience of adoptees either. I was not that impressed with it.

A Family Thing (1996)

Soft on the issues.

[14 January 1999]

This movie stars Robert Duval and James Earl Jones as sons of the same mother. Robert Duval's character is not legally adopted, but he is raised to believe that someone who is not his mother is his mother. This movie seems more interested in exploring racial issues, but not even that overtly. It makes certain that the pain of the mother is avoided as subject matter. It would be nice if all family members separated by adoption were able to accept each other this quickly and painlessly.

The Other Mother: A Moment of Truth Movie (1995 TV Movie)

It was wonderful to see this hidden side of adoption revealed.

[14 January 1999]

A true story of a mother's search for the child she lost to adoption. It was a much gentler story than most reunions, but it was realistic in many ways.

Losing Isaiah (1995)

A very good exploration of adoption issues.

[14 January 1999]

Unlike the mother in the movie, very few have thrown their babies into dumpsters, but because those incidents are sensationalized in the media -- I'm afraid this movie will reinforce the notion that adoptees are trashed by their real mothers who are 'drugged up, bottom of the heap, scumbags.' We aren't. Like the mother in this movie, we are hurt by the loss of our children just like any other mother would be. The movie was obviously kinder to the adopter, but not all adopters are so rich and so loving. I think this movie helps reinforce stereotypes about adoption, adopters, and the mothers of adopted children.

However, maybe the movie is only concerned with African American babies being separated from their mothers or being raised without their cultural identity. Maybe the movie is not at all concerned with white adoptee babies and their identity problems, but it does give credence to the idea that mothers and children should not be permanently separated.

Angie (1994)

A good movie for exploring adoption issues.

[14 January 1999]

The protagonist (Geena Davis) was told she was abandoned by her mother, grew up with secrecy surrounding the whereabouts of her mother, was lied to, and felt abandonment issues that she had to deal with -- much like an adoptee. Her stepmother tried to pretend she was the mother of Gina's charactor. Geena's character left her own baby for awhile, but regretted it later. One amazing and gratifying detail for me is when the step-mother character admitted that Geena's charactor was the mother of her child and "we" (her and her husband) had no rights coming between them (which they had been trying to do). So unlike mothers in real life, this woman was allowed to reclaim her child after she dealt with her problems. It's a good movies for exploring adoption issues.

The Handmaid's Tale (1990)

One of my all time favorite movies.

[14 January 1999]

First and foremost, I recommend this movie. It stars Robert Duvall and Faye Dunaway in an anti-utopian society where a fertile woman is used to breed in place of the infertile upper class wives. I highly recommend this movie for taking a brand new look at adoption.

Tell Me My Name (1977 TV Movie)

A nice gentle look at reunion of mother and child separated at birth.

[14 January 1999]

An adoptee finds her mother and moves in with her. They both work out some of the problems caused by adoption in their lives. The movie touched on some of the ways adoption complicates peoples lives, but it was very nice – very calm, very gentle. I enjoyed watching it, but it does not accurately portray the angst and pain I see in real life reunions, as necessary as they are. It was a pleasant movie.