baikal Reviews

Cleopatra 2525 (2000–2001)

what a horror!

[30 August 2000]

Now this show deserves some creadit for demonstrating (very thoroughly) what a REALLY BAD show is all about.

I can't believe this mindless piece of c**p ever made it to the screen! And this is at the time when some really excellent shows, like "Roar", were never given a chance.

So what do we have here? A pretty moronic plot, no script to speak of, bad acting, cheesy special effect and an overall odor of vulgarity. No redeeming qualities whatsoever, as far as I can tell. Really, this one makes "Battlefield Earth" look good!

Robot Wars (1998–2018)

supremely enjoyable!

[30 August 2000]

A truly excellent and enjoyable piece of entertainment!

A battle of skill, design, tactic, intelligence and raw robot power. Very fast-paced and dynamic, with no useless and vulgar theatrics typical of american "wrestling" shows.

Babylon 5 (1993–1998)

excellent!

[30 August 2000]

A truly excellent piece of work and probably about the best american TV has to offer.

Unlike "Star trek", this one has a very involved, interesting, detailed, multi-layered, consistent and complicated story that really sucks you in.

The best thing is that we get to see quite a bit of history, including ancient history, behind the unfolding events. There's an excellent cast of characters, both main and supporting ones, and many of them are given a chance to develop, grow and change. Both the good guys (Sheridan, Delenn and others) and the villans (Morden, Bester) are interesting and convincing. What's more, we are not treated to just a black and white picture. We also get to see some conflicted and not easy to place characters like Garibaldi and Londo.

I also very much enjoy the moral and philosophical subtext of the show. "Good" and "Bad" are not just some abstract cartoonish and sterile labels here, they have a difficult meaning and substance. Certainly watching this show (unlike so many others) you don't have to switch your brain off.

Overall, 10 out of 10!

Ransom (1996)

bad, bad, bad!!

[5/10 · 26 August 2000]

A really, really, really bad film! Gibson is particularly shallow, unconvincing and nauseating in the lead role. All that forced "intensity", eye-bulging and jaw-twitching! Brrrr-r-r.

The script had just one good idea which was revealed to everyone well in advance. The rest of it is a bunch of sketchy, confusing, undeveloped and inconsistent jibberish. No interesting characters or good performances to speak of either.

Unless you are into bad action movies like "Air Force One", skip this one.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1984–1985)

not as good as it's supposed to be

[25 August 2000]

I have to say that I don't get where all these rave reviews of Brett's performance are coming from. I don't think he is a good Sherlock Holmes at all!!

Holmes is supposed to be classy, stylish, charming and charismatic, have a good sense of humour and be a good actor. Instead we are treated to a rude and fidgety neurotic character who behaves like a bloodhound rather than a great intellect he is supposed to be. It is not believable that Brett's Holmes can don a convincing disguise or put any person sufficiently at ease to tell him their private secrets. On the contrary, just looking at THIS Holmes makes you think of valium. Really, what a pity! We are yet to see a worthy Holmes performance in an English language film. (Ironically there were some wonderful "foreign" Holmeses, most notably Boris Livanov in a Russian mini-series).

Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000)

a great disappointment

[5/10 · 12 August 2000]

What a great disappointment! This film is much much worse than "The nutty professor I", although the trailer was very good.

Unlike in the first movie, the plot here is absolutely moronic and mostly non-existent. It would be hard to come up with a worse script! There are a few good jokes with nothing to fill the space between them. I don't mind low-brow humor, but most jokes here do not qualify as "humor", just "low-brow" and indeed degenerate.

Eddie Murphy does an excellent job playing several characters at the same time, but it is not enough to salvage this pathetic excuse for a movie.

The Patriot (2000)

a well done historical caricature

[7/10 · 2 July 2000]

"The Patriot" is quite an amazing mixture of the best and the worst in a movie. The acting is quite good. Mel Gibson is way better than in Braveheart as he does get to act and not just to do loud screaming, weapon waving and undergo physical and emotional torture. All of his children are excellent as well. And there is quite a bit of good humor and some impressive battle scenes.

However the script is far too predictable and sooo terribly stereotypical and too Hollywoodish. There are a few emotionally overcooked episodes, especially each time Gibson is striken by another tragedy (brrr, and I thought "Ransom" was bad!)

My biggest problem, however, is the unbelievable historical inaccuracy of this movie. Yea, yeah, I know , this is not a documentary and the director should be allowed an "artistic license". However, no matter what artistic interpretation of historical facts the director makes, he has to capture the spirit of the time. Otherwise we are treated to a fairy-tale, which is exactly what happened here. In fact the "Patriot" is a particularly superficial and shallow fairy-tale.

Why did they have to demonize the British so much and present them as inhuman savages worthy of German Nazis? This was certainly not the case in reality and it was not the "inhuman atrocities" of the British Army that drove most Americans to fight in the Revolutionary War. Of course showing the Brits torch a church with the whole village locked inside is much more dramatic than trying to explain the whole "taxation without representation" thing! I am neither American nor British (in fact I am from Russia) but this film's treatment of the British seems very much like a slander.

The treatment of slavery in the movie is totally idealistic and has nothing to do with reality. In fact I am surprised that they chose to set the movie in South Carolina which, of all the American states, is the one most responsible for perpetrating the abomination of slavery in America.

What makes it really bad is that most young Americans are so ignorant of their own history that they are likely to accept the historical caricature of "the Patriot" for the real thing.

Having said all of this, I have to confess that I rather enjoyed this movie. So go see it and then read a good history book afterwards!

The Mummy (1999)

a big flop!

[4/10 · 10 May 1999]

This movie is a desperate Indiana Jones wannabe, but it certainly does not pull it off.

The plot is forced, fractured and incoherent. The jokes are not particularly funny and certainly none too tasteful.

Some of the special effects are pretty good but even they are too predictable and rather crudely embedded into the story.

And the characters are way too cartoonish and unconvincing, even for an action-adventure movie.

All in all, a rather big flop. I was not amused!

Braveheart (1995)

nothing special

[4/10 · 7 February 1999]

A vastly overrated picture.

The acting is very plain and uninteresting and the characters are rather superficially developed. Mel Gibson is trying hard to be intense, but without much substance to it.

The movie is full of historical inaccuracies, cliches and

stereotypes. The evil caricature of King Edward as a rabid and cruel monster is particularly unconvincing. The movie somehow never really explains what the freedom for which Wallace is fighting is really about.

Some of the battle scenes are pretty impressive and very well done, though. On the whole, however, a rather boring, plain and uninspiring film, certainly not something I'd want to watch more than once. Also far too violent, especially the torture scene in the end.

The Very Same Munchhausen (1980 TV Movie)

a masterpiece!

[10/10 · 6 February 1999]

What can I say? This is one of the greatest movies of all times and a real jewel of the Russian cinema. It is such a great pity that this film has never really made it to the West and is totally unknown outside Russia.

The cast is superb and the acting is absolutely fantastic. You can feel a very strong influence of the Russian theatrical tradition here. Yankovsky as Munghausen gives the best performance of his career.

This movie is incredibly warm, romantic, optimistic and, of course, very very funny. Its humour is hilarious and yet very elegant and tasteful. If you don't know any Russian, just ask somebody to translate some of the jokes to you. My favorite funny scene is Mughausen's speech at the divorce hearing. "Some couples are created for love but we were created for divorce.."

"Tot samyi Munghausen" is an absolutely wonderful and fairy-tale romantic comedy, extremely enjoyable, something like a mix of "The Princess Bride" and "Four weddings and a funeral" only much better.

And yet, the film has a serious and a profound message underneath. It will make you think about intellectual honesty, being true to yourself, the real meaning of love, friendship and laughter in our lives. Watch this movie and you are guaranteed to fall in love with it.

Andrei Rublev (1966)

A true masterpiece!

[10/10 · 2 February 1999]

This movie is set in mediaeval Russia, the world of unspeakable cruelty, poverty and injustice. And yet, this is a profoundly humanistic, profoundly spiritual, profoundly individualistic and profoundly uncompromising film. The photography is absolutely beautiful, mesmerising, original and superb. But it is the anguished soul and conscience of this film and of its main hero that truly make this a great picture.

There are no cliches here, no stereotypes and no sucking up to the audience. A brutally honest and yet very moving, touching and optimistic film. And it is not about the nature of a genius. Rather, it is about a man's ability and duty to preserve and be true to his humanity, his freedom, his soul, his heart and his gift, no matter what century it is or what the circumstances are. Watch it to remind yourself of what it really means to be human.

Nine Months (1995)

Not bad!

[24 January 1999]

A very funny, tasteful, enjoyable and well made comedy (although the end is far too cheesy). Tom Arnold is definitely at his best. My favorite scene is when Grant and Arnold beat up Arnie the Dinosaur (you get the hint) in a toy-store. You have to watch the movie if only for this episode.

The Man in the Iron Mask (I) (1998)

horrible!

[2/10 · 22 January 1999]

What a horrible movie! And such a waste of talent too!

John Malkovitch, a truly excellent actor, is particularly nauseating as Athos. Br-r-r-r-r.

Bio-Dome (1996)

Stupid!

[1/10 · 22 January 1999]

One of the most stupid movies of the decade! You have to see at least a part of it to know how BAD a movie can be.