Puke Bag Reviews

Green Eggs and Ham (2019–2022)

Watch it on your favourite device. Try it, you'll like it! That's my advice.

[10/10 · 1 January 2020]

Even though the book remains a permanent childhood favourite and a staple of storytime with my daughter, I was skeptical that this could be expanded into an entire series, but the production team really pull it off. The book itself has pretty minimal story (it's not exactly the point of the book itself), so the adaptation turns a simple tale of trying new things into a road-trip and buddy comedy that is whimsical, hilarious, and touching.

The story centers on the two characters of the book, Sam-I-Am, a wildlife rescue expert with a love for Green Eggs and Ham, and Guy-Am-I (previously unnamed in the book), a former inventor who aspires to be a paint watcher. As Sam attempts to rescue a rare an endangered animal, he enlists Guy to help him out, while trying to get him to try his favourite dish.

Despite its Y7 rating, there is a lot for all ages to enjoy, especially those that loved the book as children. Along with the whimsical humour (new supporting character Michelee is employed as a literal bean counter), there are a many pop culture references that mostly Gen-Xers will get, with parodies of Usual Suspects, Shawshank Redemption, and Les Miserables, among others.

So watch it on your favourite screen, watch it while you're getting clean / Watch it with friends or by yourself, even if the book isn't on your shelf / You should watch this Netflix show, you should watch it, that I know!

22 Jump Street (2014)

True Bromance

[8/10 · 15 June 2014]

You don't step into a movie like this expecting something profound and deep, and surely enough, this is anything but. Packed with some offensive humour, foul language, and inappropriate sexual innuendos, this makes for a very entertaining night at the movies.

The film is at its best when it makes fun of itself (referencing the fact that you're watching a sequel with a much bigger budget, also poking fun at the fact that Hill and Tatum are way too old to play college kids, plus tossing in a few in-jokes to see how closely you're paying attention), and just as good with the wacky antics of the characters.

Watch out for some surprising cameos and stick around for the ending credits.

Logan's Run (1976)

First impressions, 38 years after release

[6/10 · 14 June 2014]

After almost 40 years, any science fiction film will feel very dated, and Logan's Run is no exception. Having only seen bits and pieces of it on television, I borrowed a DVD from the local library and sat through it and found it a bit more difficult to sit through than I was expecting. The acting is pretty hammy and the story has a lot of holes in it. Dialogue attempts to be futuristic-sounding, which probably would've worked back then, but doesn't work now.

A modernized remake has been tossed around Hollywood for a while, which would have to be extensively redone, not just for the visual effects. The film does have its moments, and overall, it is an impressive achievement, but it's a bit of a chore to sit through if you weren't old enough to appreciate it when it first came out.

Blood Car (2007)

Interesting premise, but otherwise unsustainable for 76 minutes.

[3/10 · 25 July 2009]

I went in hoping for Little Shop of Horrors vs. Mad Max, but ultimately found myself unamused and waiting for the film to end. While the premise is interesting, there's not enough substance to sustain the entire length of the film, which feels too long even at only 76 minutes.

It's a notable achievement for their shoestring budget, but otherwise it comes across as very amateurish, the comedic scenes are forced (as in, "look at me, I'm trying to be funny"), and the characters are really unlikeable (save for Anna Chlumsky, whose portrayal of the girl next door is one of he few redeeming factors of this film). But, I've definitely seen worse. Heck, I've WORKED on worse films.

Wok with Yan (1980– )

I remember this guy

[8/10 · 29 December 2006]

I used to love this guy's show when I was a lot younger. Oh, the bad jokes, the awful puns, and a Hong Kong accent that would put William Hung to shame, but this guy had the most manic energy and a genuine love for his craft and it shows. Adding a little bit of ethnic flavour to the morning lineups, he definitely knew his stuff.

I do recall at one point that he did have a chain of restaurants in the Vancouver area, but have since disappeared. Martin Yan (who apparently worked for Stephen at some point) doesn't capture the same amount of energy for my tastes.

Where is he now, I wonder? To Mr. Yan, good luck and keep on wokking, wherever you are.

Snakes on a Plane (2006)

It SHOULD be the worst movie ever...

[8/10 · 18 August 2006]

...but I'll be damned if I didn't have the most fun time in the theatre. Sure, the storyline is ridiculous, the action is over the top and ludicrous, and the dialogue frickin' sucks, but you are guaranteed to at least have fun, especially if you go with your friends. Snakes on a Plane is the ultimate B-movie, given that the film practically invites, no, *encourages* heckling and audience participation. Long before the first victim gets bitten, you'll be too busy enjoying yourself to notice the flaws.

The film is a total fluke, but the producers know they have a hit on their hands. Just brace yourself for the onslaught of copycats.

Sin City (2005)

Vicious in delivery, brilliant in execution. A great comic book flick.

[2 April 2005]

Just got back from this one. Easily one of the most faithful adaptations of the medium, right down to Frank Miller's visual style. Having picked up the odd Sin City comic here and there, everything's intact. And I'm not even a Frank Miller fan (outside of his work on Daredevil).

Great performances all around, especially from Mickey Rourke, who does a great turn as Marv (although the prosthetics make him look a bit like Hellboy). Benicio Del Toro, Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, et al are great as well.

Clearly, Robert Rodriguez "gets" it. Now, all I gotta do is break open the ole piggy bank, head to the comic book store, and pick up "That Yellow Bastard", "A Dame to Kill For", "The Big Fat Kill" and "Sin City".

Requiem for a Dream (2000)

The equivalent of paying someone to kick you in the teeth...in a good way.

[10/10 · 10 February 2005]

I had the fortune of seeing this in the theatres and felt absolutely terrible as I left theatre, both physically and emotionally drained. Having since purchased the DVD, it is the one I watch the least, although it is still one of the most important films in my collection, if not for its message, but in the way the message is conveyed.

The transformation of each characters is heartbreaking to behold. Starting off with MTV-esquire reckless abandon, the characters quickly go into a year-long tailspin in which there is no hope for redemption.

The cast makes this one work. Despite their weaknesses, they are all people that you can relate to. Best friends, lovers, mothers, sons. Ellen Burstyn gets a lot of praise for her work, but all major players (Shawn Wayans, Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly) all deserve praise for taking on such material and the way they do it.

On a technical note, the film is brilliant. Editing that would normally be headache inducing under any other director works for this film.

Although you cannot watch, you cannot look away.

Alone in the Dark (2005)

I can honestly say I wasn't bored.

[4/10 · 28 January 2005]

I caught a preview screening for this in my hometown. While I can't really say much about Uwe Boll's directing, the acting, and the writing, the visual effects are fairly decent, plus local SFX artist Bill Terezakis creates some really gruesome stuff.

As for the rest of the film? Well, to put it gently, most of the audience I saw it with viewed it as a comedy and were cheering by the time the ending credits came up. Whether or not this is a good thing is up to you. Just consider what the film is supposed to be.

Not having seen "House of the Dead", I don't have a true frame of reference as to how good or bad this film could be, but I can say that I have seen worse (Elektra, Catwoman, and Batman & Robin come to mind).

Shark Tale (2004)

Weak.

[27 September 2004]

Whereas Pixar's animated flicks are built around a solid script with well-developed characters and some pop culture references added in, Shark Tale is built around stereotypes and dated pop culture references. It feels like this script was written at least ten years ago.

While the preview audience I was in was fairly entertained (there were a lot of kids in the audience), I found it to be fairly pedestrian and weak. I quickly lost interest long before Oscar starts rapping to MC Hammer and starts spouting over-used one-liners from much better movies ("You can't handle the truth!" "You had me at hello!").

Your entertainment dollar would be spent watching something else.

Catwoman (2004)

Well, at least it's not Batman & Robin.

[22 July 2004]

Not much to say about this one. Formulaic plot, stock characters, overuse of CGI in the same way that made Spider-Man (the original) look bad (and it's even worse here), and on top of that, it's so completely removed from the original source material that you have to wonder why they even kept the character's name. Not much more than an exercise than an actual movie. Nothing new is said or done.

On the plus side, they didn't do the really bad camp humour as featured in Batman & Robin and there are some so-so action sequences (although they are completely ruined with fast cutting...possibly because the use of stunt doubles would have been too obvious otherwise...at least one of the Halle Berry stunt doubles is a man!)

Spider-Man 2 (2004)

Wow! Meets and exceeds all expectations!

[10/10 · 30 June 2004]

There is more of everything in this film, and while more is not necessarily better, they do MAKE it better. The dramatic moments are more touching, action more pulse-pounding, the visual effects are more realistic, and comedy much more funny (Spider-Man's conversation with the guy in the elevator will have you howling).

Characters are all spot-on, performances are solid, and the neat little nods and references here and there (the Asian woman with a violin singing the classic Spidey theme off key is grating, yet somehow fitting) give a little something extra for the comic book nerds to appreciate.

My only complaint: Spider-Man 3 is likely going to be lackluster in comparison. They've REALLY outdone themselves!

Next Action Star (2004– )

Ratings Grab

[23 June 2004]

I was fairly interested in the concept early on, being a bit of an action junkie myself. People don't often realize that the show isn't too far away removed from the actual Hollywood audition process -- it's nothing to do with talent whatsoever. It's who can sell more tickets, or in this case, whoever can boost the ratings.

There are a few interesting characters those who are interested in the film-making process will find a few things to like in it. But don't expect the most talented or deserving player to win.

Just take a look at Viviana, who is passable in terms of looks, although clearly mediocre in terms of acting talent. Plus, she clearly does not get along with the cast mates, speaks out of turn with coaches and instructors, and is careless when handling dangerous weapons. She's clearly the Omorosa of the group.

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

Wow!

[11 October 2003]

The mainstream audience that likes the film will say that Tarantino is a genius and the saviour of cinema, as he shows us something that has never been seen before and makes it entertaining.

The cynical audience that hates the film will say that he is a hack. Didja see Reservoir Dogs? That was so ripped off from Ringo Lam's City on Fire. There is nothing original in his films at all.

I say, who really cares? Kill Bill vol. 1 is thoroughly entertaining, filled with tons of action, blood, guts, and humour. Fans of Battle Royale will especially appreciate the appearance of Churiaki Kuriyama, who plays a very deadly assassin that uses exotic weaponry.

Bring on Volume 2!

The Hidden (1987)

Underrated sci-fi classic

[10 October 2003]

Having only seen the watered-down-for-TV version, my viewing experience is slightly different than what other viewers may have experienced, but the amount of carnage in this film is astounding. Even the network's cuts can't make this much less of a disturbing and gritty film, which is still fun to watch by today's standards.

Memorable moment: After the first alien body is riddled by gunfire, he chuckles, right before the cops open fire on the car next to him, exploding and knocking him down.

Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)

Disappointing

[15 September 2003]

While Robert Rodriguez is a good, solid filmmaker, he tries to do way too much in this film. The plot is a bit of a mess to say the least, trying to cram as much as one possibly can into one movie. As a result, the story structure is a bit more skewed than should be, often jumping around too much to follow.

On the plus side, the performances are pretty solid, although there is not nearly enough screentime for the lovely Salma Hayek, despite the fact that she is on the poster.

El Mariachi and Desperado were two solid efforts that showed what is capable with film studio pocket change. OUaTiM is clearly out of control.

One note is that the film was shot using Sony HD 24frame video cameras instead of the traditional 35mm film. While it looks quite good, the technology won't be able to replace actual 35mm film for a while. The explosions look really artificial, given the decrease in colour depth when going from 35mm to video.

Battle Royale (2000)

Vicious, dangerous, anarchist film.

[12 September 2003]

Having just obtained a copy on Ebay which may or may not be a bootleg, I just got a chance to watch it. There is a point to all this, making reference to social problems among the youth of today. Sadly, the point will be lost among many viewers who see it as bloodshed unrestrained.

A modernized update of "Lord of the Flies" more than anything else, it shows what kind of lengths children will go to when placed in such a situation without adult supervision and the kind of politics that emerge as a result.

Witty, well shot and acted, darkly humorous, and really dangerous. A film like this should be made in Hollywood and is especially relevant, given the rise of violence among American youth. Sadly, being that movies are used as a scapegoat for violent behavior among youth, this will never be the case.

X2 (2003)

Very strong sequel, much better than the first!

[9/10 · 28 August 2003]

With so much kick-ass action and visuals, and even a plot to boot, this is definitely the highlight of the summer of 2003. Standout moments are the raid on the X-Mansion and the attack on the White House.

I can't think of a weak moment in the film, as it is strong from start to finish. The tongue in cheek humour is great (Iceman cooling off Wolverine's beverage, some great dialogue moments, the like), while the visual effects are incredible.

Easily fulfills all expectations. Can't wait for the DVD. Bring on X3!

Canadian Bacon (1995)

Wonderfully hilarious

[24 August 2003]

As a Canadian, I realize we're a nation with a really big land mass and an even bigger inferiority complex, which is why I found this to be an especially welcome gem. In many respects, we are very similar to the states -- we eat mostly the same food, watch mostly the same television. But the little differences are just so inconsequential, but huge differences are made about them from both sides of the border. This makes it so much funnier when the differences ARE pointed out.

"We are going to have to fine you. The fine is $1000...or $10 American, if you have it."

Best moments include the Americans breaking the Canadian language laws, the propaganda broadcasts, and the potshot against the American military (an Omega Force member stubs his toe, which somehow warrants a bullet to the head).

The Running Man (1987)

What if it were made today?

[24 August 2003]

If the film were remade today, it would have a little more resonance for a modern audience, especially with the amount of reality based television that is so prolific today.

A straight adaptation from Stephen King's original novel (under the pen name Richard Bachman) would have been much more suitable, especially with the rise of shows like Cops and World's Scariest Police Chases. Placing the entire game within an actual arena isn't quite like how the future turned out. However, they may have to modify the ending (the ending of a novel involves a large airplane crashing into a building).

Considering all the remakes and sequels that have been made as of late, it's surprising that they haven't remade this one, even though it's a bit more relevant to today's audience than it was back in 1987. Shoot the whole thing on digital video (a la "Series 7: The Contenders") and throw in a lot more dark comedy, and you'd have yourself a nice little independent flick and a cult classic in the making. No need for something with an overbloated budget.

Attack the Gas Station (1999)

Brilliant combination of social commentary and comedy

[11 May 2003]

Taking a single location and having all this chaos erupt turns Attack the Gas Station! into one of the more entertaining foreign films to come out in a long time. With many surreal and absurdist moments, the film is hilarious to boot, while offering some insight into Korean culture.

Unfortunately, much of the humour doesn't translate properly, while many of the cultural nuances will be lost on a non-Korean audience member. Although Ddan-Ra being chastized for drinking Pepsi and supporting American companies, while he defends himself because the Pepsi logo vaguely resembles the mark on the South Korean flag, should be understood by most.

After a conversation with a person more versed in Korean culture, it is easy to see how much gets lost on the non-Korean viewer. The four central characters, set up as a group of tough-guys, play elementary school games during their seige of the gas station (the syllable game, the paper-scissors-rock variant, etc.). While amusing, they don't hold much resonance for a non-Korean viewer, but for a Korean viewer, are much easier to identify with.

Sadly, Sang-Jin Kim's follow-up, "Kick the Moon", lacks much of the absurdism and satire of AtGS, instead punching up the level of violence.

RoboCop 2 (1990)

Much squandered potential (potential spoilers?)

[13 March 2003]

While the original ranks as a personal favourite, the sequel shows some glimmer of potential, although lacks much of the satire and dark humour of the predecessor. There are some great action sequences and good visual effects, but that doesn't make for a solid picture, considering what the original had to offer.

Mind you, there are some good moments of social commentary, especially its before-its-time comment on the failure of the war against drugs (some may recall a drug lord's decision to offer large amounts of money to the mayor of Old Detroit in exchange for decriminalization of the designer drug Nuke). Had this movie been released closer to today with a more solid rewrite, it would have had a little bit more resonance. Sadly, it does not.

This may not have always been the case, as there are reports that the original screenplay made for a 3-hour movie (many elements of which eventually showed up in the even more lackluster sequel). But either way, one is better of sticking with the original.

Malcolm in the Middle (2000–2006)

Sharks, prepare to jump...

[8 February 2003]

The ultimate kiss of death for a television sitcom -- the addition of a newborn baby, is pretty much on the horizon. This would the final nail in a lackluster fourth season, which has seen a fair share of ups ("Boys at the Ranch", depicting a responsible adult Francis), and a much larger number of downs ("Malcolm Holds his Tongue", depicting Hal in a speed-walking group, for one).

For what was once a funny, irreverent show with two brilliant seasons and a pretty good one, the show is starting to lose its appeal.

Spirited Away (2001)

Excellent! Nightmarishly surreal yet charming at the same time.

[10/10 · 16 October 2002]

This is a film that deserves a much wider release than it is currently getting. Taking a cue from Alice in Wonderland and Wizard of Oz, Hayao Miyazaki takes the fairy tale conventions and gives us one of his finest works yet, beating the pants off everything he has done before.

In a world where Japanese animation gets a bit of a bad rap for its adult-content (despite the fact that it's no worse than North American mainstream cinema), comes a film that both adults and children can enjoy. It's best that you walk in with no expectations as I did.

Men in Black II (2002)

Pointless

[5 October 2002]

All of the good jokes are blown in the trailer and the whole film is nothing more than a rehash of the original, which also had all of the good jokes blown in the trailer.

The worst part was that the filmmakers essentially slapped the film together with knowledge that with an aggressive marketing campaign, people would show up to see the movie in droves. People showed up to see the movie in droves, and it shamefully became one of the biggest grossers of the summer.