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Reviews
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
The Lessons Of NH, ESB, Neglected For ROTJ
I realize I'm in the minority, but I hated this movie. Lucas had twenty years to write the script and this is the best he could do?
This movie doesn't feel right. The climax of Independence Day is exciting, the actors, music, etc. suggesting this is for all the marbles. Even in the climax for PM, I never got that "Here we go!" feeling.
Like in ROTJ and NH Special Edition, there is an abundance of slapstick gags totally at odds with a story about intergalactic civil war. The characters do not behave realistically. Why would the robot soldiers tell each other orders? Wouldn't they communicate with each other in binary, like a modem? And if I see one more movie where the plan to capture the bad guy involves the heroes travelling "a secret underground passage" that no one else knows of, I'm going to be sick.
Also, the light saber battles threw me. Yes, they looked cool, and I liked how Darth Maul used the Force to open a door without letting down his guard. But the fights are styled like martial arts swordfights, not the classic fencing from NH, ESB, and ROTJ. It's inconsistent.
On the bright side, the special effects are sweet, the pod race being genuinely thrilling. The long shots of the architecture are amazing, like something Rand and Robyn Miller would dream up. John William's music isn't workmanlike this time, it actually invokes the scenes.
It all comes down to how much detail you pay to Star Wars. Casual viewers will love its eye candy. True fans who sensed a disturbance in the Force with the Ewoks in ROTJ know what they are in for.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
Avoids usual cliches, hits the right notes
Okay, this is like "Taming Of The Shrew" with the cast of "Daria". But unlike "Daria", every character has a brain and flaws that make them overrule it at times. The humor is sharp, sarcastic, and hilarious (the scene where the father explains, "I'm down, I've got the 411," is one of my favorites). It also has a lot of heart as it avoids most cliches and treats the characters realistically. A simple kiss is not what it takes to convince others of true emotions. Admittedly, having the father more concerned about pregnancy than, say, "AIDS," makes it a little tough to swallow, but his concern is genuine, as it Kat's. There's a lot of energy, and it was good to hear Madness playing again, even if it was a song from the early 80's. Unlike most movies with romance as the lynchpin, you believe in these characters, root for things to work, and wonder what will happen next when they don't. Easily worth full price, but see it early. There'll be fewer noisy teenagers in the audience (trust me, I speak from experience).
Wing Commander (1999)
Liked it better than I wanted to
The biggest fault with WC is the studio's lack of faith. Fox wanted the film to be a hit, but rather than investing in a sweeping story, they saddle it with cliches to carry it. It comes across as a submarine movie with a dash of Top Gun thrown in.
But for what's there, it's actually all right. The writing is good, giving some weight to the characters' mortality unlike other video game movies that treat violence and death as a tolerable side effect. Prinze's character is meant to be an Everyman and turns out an Anyman, but is still watchable. The characters have some actual depth, and Taggart and Devereaux are commanders I would trust any day. The creature effects are cheap, eliciting chuckles when they first appear on screen. The sets are impressive. The Rapiers and the Tiger Claw look exactly like you expect a group stationed in the middle of nowhere that can't get decommished and replaced equipment to look like, patchwork and all. The sets reflect the cramped, "We're not here for your comfort" design of military vessels. Although the ending is never in doubt, it is involving in spots, the science makes sense after some thought, and it grows on you. Blair says of Marshall in one scene, "He's a great guy. There's no reason to hate him." Same with this movie. It doesn't hit all the right notes, but it gets closer than most other sci-fi movies even attempt to these days.
BASEketball (1998)
A little bumpy, but runs solid
The only problem with BASEketball is it tries to mix in the standard "We will overcome our temptations and tribulations" plot that dots so many other movies. The exposition is actually the slowest part of the movie. Fortunately, that aspect is so by the numbers, only minimal time is spent advancing the story, figuring the audience can fill in the rest. That frees up more screen time for the hilarious gags. The psyche-outs by the Beers are hilarious, and the constant riffs on the faux purity of modern sports will draw anyone in. The sport actually celebrates poor sportsmanship. The cheerleaders don't lead cheers, but act as open-air coochie girls. The team from Dallas, recalling the extracurricular trouble players get into, is called the Fellons. One sports mogul is rich enough to pay Kareem Abdul-Jabar to sit in a glass case on private display. If modern sports depresses you, and you want something hip, aware, and funny, get it and you won't be disappointed.
There's Something About Mary (1998)
One viewing is enough
This is a Farrelly Brothers movie, which means, like "Dumb And Dumber" and "Kingpin," there is shock humor galore. The problem is that it means you can really only watch the movie once. Once you know what's coming, the Farrelly Brothers lack the ability to keep you laughing with timing or technique. It's all about how far out the humor goes. After abusing the dog or the opening bit about "The frank or the beans," you'll be laughing the first time you see it. After that, you'll know what's coming, and you'll feel the boredom start to set in. It does get points for the romantic heart beating beneath it, but this isn't exactly a date movie. Be careful who you see it with.
Godzilla (1998)
The rubber suit was better
From the team that made Independence Day, you expect this to be the coolest movie of the year. It isn't. Starting with Godzilla, here's a giant lizard that has no presence. At least when you saw the guy in the rubber suit, you sat up expecting something to happen. Not here. Matthew Broderick is horribly miscast as Nick Tatapolis (named after Patrick Tatapolis, Centropolis FX whiz). You never believe he has the analytical skills befitting a scientist. Other characters, except Animal, are weak. Jean Reno has the best character as a French operative, and should have been the focus of the movie if Godzilla wasn't going to be allowed that privilege. The dialogue is flatter than a script page ("That's a lot of fish." No kidding, Sherlock). The action is contrived, with helicopters that fly forward instead of up to escape the lizard. The opening has some effective moments, but feels a lot like the opening of ID4. With this movie, Godzilla isn't the only one laying eggs left and right.
Different Strokes (1998)
Terminal snoozer
What's to like about this movie? You get to see Dana Plato's follow-up to "Sex Puppets" and "Night Trap". What's not to like? The lighting is poor, the sound is muddy, the music is annoying, the performances are not believable, the dialogue is lame ("This is a great shower!"), and the imagery doesn't work. In trying to make the lesbian affair between Jill and Jill seem like any other affair, it presents boring images that make you say, "Can we get to something interesting?" The sex scenes aren't that exciting, either. Jill's warming up to the sexually liberated Jill is contrived, and the movie's incomplete ending, leaving the viewer to decide Jill's fate, is a lame cop-out. For anyone unpopular with a crush on the prettiest girl in class with a lump for a boyfriend. (Change Plato's character to a male and you'll see what I mean.)
Terminal Voyage (1995)
A lousy riff on "Ten Little Indians"
First, you start with Agatha Christie's "Ten Little Indians." A crew is on a star ship and they start being killed off one by one. Add some cheap cliches to attempt to make the characters seem real, like giving the doctor a drug problem (Why is the one character who should be aware of the dangers of drug abuse and is acutely aware there is a limited supply for everyone on board the one who succumbs to it?). Put in the characters behaving by the numbers, saying things like, "We have a mission to uphold"). The movie is so obvious with its plot twists, you start hoping that it's just trying to throw you off, and you see something other than you are expecting. Not at all. In fact, the big surprise plot twist in the film's final act, as well as the "ironic" ending, aren't that surprising or shocking. You watch the movie, wondering what would have happened if they'd tried a little harder.