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Reviews
Jersey Girl (2004)
saccharin twaddle
Spoilers ahoy! Please don't read on if you actually want to waste 100 or so minutes of your life with this movie!
This movie is a distinctly average paternal melodrama, with few redeeming features. It's plainly obvious that the scenes with J-Lo were edited down to reduce on the "Bennifer" factor. Ben Affleck has never been worse (in anything I've seen anyway, and I haven't seen Gigli, so I may be wrong), Liv Tyler's character is annoying as hell, George Carlin looks mildly concerned throughout, the kid is precocious, Jason Biggs is okay, but his character is pretty 2 dimensional. The only good scene I can recall is near the end where Affleck talks to Will Smith about parenting, this scene is very entertaining, and clearly the whole point of the film.
I get what Kevin Smith was trying to do here, his films are always autobiographical to a degree, Clerks was about working at a convenience store, Chasing Amy was about his relationships, Dogma was (in a round-about way) about his faith, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was for the fans, and Jersey Girl is about parenting. Sometimes I wish he'd keep his issues to himself and stick with the funny stuff, because he can be witty in a crass and unsophisticated way.
I'm a fan of clerks as a low budget achievement, plus it's very funny, and I have a certain affection for Mallrats as a silly, funny movie, chasing Amy has its moments, but there's too much shouting for my liking. This movie simply lacks anything memorable or noteworthy, aside from the aforementioned scene.
Y tu mamá también (2001)
American Pie meets Amelie in Mexico
I've read some of the other comments about this film, and there seem to be 2 types of review, those written by people who appreciated the warmth and humanity of this wonderful film, and those written by prudish conservatives. If there's anything in this film which people find shocking, then they must be living very sheltered lives. This film does feature sex and drugs prominently, but it's not gratuitous, this is simply what young people seem to be most interested in.
This film is lovingly constructed, with great acting, it's well written and directed, and the handheld camerawork is great. Overall, this film is great, but not one for anyone offended by teenagers endulging in their interests.
Dynamite Chicken (1971)
crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy...
I was drawn to this film by it's bizarre title, and I wasn't disappointed. It's basically a collection of satirical sketches with a lot of clips of Richard Pryors at his very best, for some reason doing stand up comedy to the camera on a basketball court. It's arranged into topics which were important in America at the time of it's release, such as war, drugs, national pride (or lack thereof), police brutality, feminism and others. Some more narrow minded individuals may find this film to be intensely irritating nonsense, but I thoroughly enjoyed it, and found it to be at times hilarious, at others, poignant, but always weird.
Blade II (2002)
cynics beware, this may surprise you.
I went into this film with a skeptical frame of mind, I hadn't seen the original, but my friends were going to see it, so I tagged along, and what can I say, I was amazed. Of course, the plot is very weak, but I was expecting that, plus the action is so unrelenting, you don't really have time to think about it. I saw this movie in a cinema with newly installed Dolby Digital sound, and it put it to good use, the bone-snapping, skull-crunching, gut-ripping and decapitations all had a sickeningly loud noise which completely immerse you into the action on screen. Just when I thought that comic book adaptations were all doomed to be terrible, this one (although I don't know how faithful it is to the original comic) breaks the mould to be a thoroughly enjoyable piece of absolute nonsense.
Days Like These (1999)
why oh why????
Could somebody please tell me the point of taking a reasonably good American sitcom and Anglicising it? The scripts have been taken word for word from that '70s show, erasing all Americanisms and making dollars become pounds etc, except the budget for the British version is considerably less, the sets look like primary school children painted them, and they're not quite finished! That '70s show has a great cast, and sharp writing, and this pointless (why else would they run it at 2am?) rip-off has ruined that. The cast in this have no spark or vitality, most of them seem embarrassed to be there, and rightly so, this is television at it's worst, plain ripping off of a decent show, it should never have been made. Thank god they only made 10 episodes.
The Owl (1991)
god save us from a sequel!
This film blows donkeys!
It's soooooo soooooo bad! And the ending suggests a possible sequel. Please, god no!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's not very good.
Another Day in Paradise (1998)
nothing like Kalifornia! And that's a good thing.
I can't understand for a minute why anyone would write a bad review of this film.
I read complaints that it was unoriginal, and even saw comparisons to Kalifornia, no film deserves that!
So blood and violence and realism are "out" are they? If this film was made in the early '90s it would be hailed as groundbreaking stuff, but just because a few films similar, but nowhere near as good were made before it, it's unoriginal. Truly great films transcend what's "in", and this film is one. The acting is superb and the photography is great. I'd just like to end by saying I hated "kids", so I'm not just a weirdo Larry Clark freak.
Honest (2000)
Pointless
This film is one of the worst I've seen for a long, long time. There's so much wrong with it I don't even know where to start. Okay, the acting: the 3 all saints girls, can't act, nor can they fake cockney accents. the direction: Pretensious, trying to be arty, failing.
the script: one word, terrible! The plot: there was a plot???? The point: unless the all saints are hoping never to be taken seriously again, I really can't see any point to this film.
I didn't like it very much.
American History X (1998)
Powerful, yet flawed.
This film has some of the best and most powerful acting I have seen in a long time. Edward Norton is astounding, and just when you thought Edward Furlong had disappeared into obscurity, here he is, a fine young actor. The film is flawed, however. I find some parts a little hard to swallow, but these are minor gripes when there is so much here which is amazing. I think the black and white/colour thing is a little obvious, cliched and even a little pretensious, but when the film is over, the impact is such that you just don't care, and the overall result is a staggering film.
Brazil (1985)
bizarre, surreal, hilarious, disturbing.
This film totally messed with my head the first time I saw it, the ending is, well, I guess it's open to interpretation, but it kept me awake for a while. Robert De Niro was unrecognisable in his cameo (he was in about 3 scenes), and it's a huge departure for him, but he was good, as were the entire cast. Jonathan Pryce played the Winston Smith of the story, the concept of the film being very, very close to that of 1984, but unlike Orwell's book, this had patches of (very) black comedy, and some lighter moments. Overall, this is a film which shall be remembered for many reasons, and certainly one which, once watched will never be forgotten.
Goodfellas (1990)
the best gangster film.
This is one of my favourite films, I've seen it dozens of times but I still find it hard to watch. It's so unpleasant, the heroes are ruthless murderers, Joe Pesci is particularly horrible as the psychopathic Tommy. Everything about this film is impeccably made, the cinematography is perfect, the soundtrack is brilliant, the acting superb but I still find myself hiding during some of the more gruesome moments. A classic film, but not a pleasant one.
She's All That (1999)
completely unoriginal, but not bad.
This film contained nothing I hadn't seen before in other films, but it had a certain something which made me smile all the way through. Sure, it wasn't made very well, I saw the mic in shot at least 3 times, but it had a host of fresh faces and was a bit of fun. It's really not my type of film but I found it impossible to hate, I did cringe at one point, but then the whole cinema cringed with me (watch for the pizza toppings, you'll understand when you see it!!!!). All in all, a good film if you're in the mood for a bit of light slushy fun.
Tango & Cash (1989)
this film is among the worst I've ever seen... I love it!
There are so many things which are terrible about this film, the stereotypical cops, the lame bad guy, the macho guys who dress in drag to escape, then a dumb, male cop hitting on them, but the best(worst) part of this film is the American guy trying to put on an English accent. The line "up yors you ahsole, I don't give a tawws!" Is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. And Tango and Cash is terrible in a good way, this is a film I can watch and laugh my head off. Unlike the painful Batman and Robin, which wasn't even funny.
The Faculty (1998)
Classic Rodriguez
Making no comparisons between this film and any "body snatchers" films is impossible, but unlike the recent remake, this is an enjoyable piece of film making by the genius Robert Rodriguez. Okay, it's cheesy, but that's it's most endearing feature, you can't help loving it, just little touches like the ever increasing amount of water being taken into the school, and the f*** you boy and girl, who scream at each other throughout the film until they get transformed, and then they walk down the hall, hand in hand. Rodriguez is not a subtle film maker, but if he was, films like this and the wonderful El Mariachi would never have been made, and there would be a great void in our lives (well, mine anyway). Another great thing about this film is the fact that Kevin Williams's hands are all over it, his distinctive in jokes and knowledge of pop culture flow through it without ruining it like Scream 2 was ruined (plus the fact that that movie sucked anyway).
Die Hard 2 (1990)
yawn
This is the most blatant cash in on an original film's success I have ever seen. It's pointless, there's no mention of any of the occurrences of this film in the far, far, far superior third, which may as well be the second as far as I'm concerned. There was no reason for this film to have been made.
Pi (1998)
mmmmm....grimy!
Pi is the best (well, only) arthouse film I've ever seen (ignoring Eraserhead, as most people do). Shot on grainy, grimy black and white with a kicking soundtrack, it's well worth seeing if you couldn't stomach Eraserhead. To me, Lynch's debut seemed completely random, noisy, incomprehensible and just plain annoying after a while, watching it on tv I found myself pining for ad breaks. Pi is similar, in that it has a strange, though nowhere near as strange as in Eraserhead, central character, it's shot entirely on (often over exposed) black and white and it has its moments of true surrealism (the person dripping blood on the subway platform and the brain, which he poked), but this (thankfully) is where the similarities end. I can't wait for the video release (although knowing the uk video distributors, there'll be about 6 copies available in the whole country, all in London).