MSusimetsa Reviews

The Three Musketeers - Part I: D'Artagnan (2023)

Does the good outweight the bad this time around?

[6/10 · 4 January 2024]

This adaptation of the classic tale is yet again conflicted as it comes to the good that it brings and the bad that arrives with it. Thus far, I hold the 1970's version by Lester as a pinnacle in The Three Musketeers adaptations, and - unfortunately - this latest attempt does not threaten its throne.

The negatives included the dark-toned costumes and the overall gritty colour scheme of the entire movie. The King's Musketeers, historically consisting of nobility, seemed more like a group of mercenaries who had crawled to work through muddy ditches. And even the richer nobility seemed to prefer dark colours, which is just silly when you consider that bright colours and clean clothes were the main indicators of wealth at the time.

Another downside relates to the relationships between the characters: overall, they were mostly taken for granted, assuming that viewers already knew that the three musketeers were close friends, so there was not much need to show it. There are no scenes showing the chemistry between the three musketeers to make them actually feel like friends. Similarly, d'Artagnan's relationship with Constance felt superficial at best - there was no apparent chemistry between the actors.

There also seemed to be little left of the musketeers' honour: in an early fight with the cardinal's men, one of the musketeers commits a clear murder.

On the positive side, the film showed some daring in slightly reinventing the story - and managed to do it with a fair bit of respect for history: the relationship between the king and his brother was as problematic as it should be, and the conflict between Catholics and Protestants received more visibility than in previous iterations, and it was even part of the plot. These elements lead to new plot twists and elements, but do not (IMHO) take it too far from the original (like some other recent film versions did).

Of course, there were some ill-judged costume bits: temple frame spectacles on one character stood out (as they appeared only c. 150 years later), as well as the umbrella to hold off rain.

This first part of the two-part film certainly loses to Lester's films from the 1970s, but it's still a somewhat enjoyable "dark" version of the adventure. I'm teetering between 3/5 and 3.5/5, but - for the moment - I'll let it lie at 3/5 (6/10).

RRR (2022)

Absurdly funny buddy comedy

[8/10 · 26 November 2022]

I cannot remember the last time I laughed as much as I did while watching this movie. From the very first scenes, you get drawn into the ridiculous, overt displays of testosterone that make fun of every cliche you've ever seen in action movies - slow-motion roars of agony or rage, wrestling matches with lions, motorcycles used as melee weapons... But you also get heart-felt stories of kidnapped village girls and rebellion against foreign government, a big dance-off scene and musical numbers. This movie has it all! The running time is certainly long and you may have to take a break simply to recover your ability to laugh, but it is enjoyable throughout.

Thirteen Lives (2022)

Escapes the trap of the usual Hollywood treatment

[8/10 · 14 August 2022]

I was tentatively hopeful when starting to watch this film, since the director has done excellent work before - and I was happy to find my hopes answered: Thirteen Lives is a great film about the tragic event and does not fall into the usual trap of Hollywood treatment (inserting unnecessary and fake human drama or stories). The boys are just human beings and we care for them for that reason - not because we have been explicitly told about their future hopes and dreams and then pointedly explained to that those dreams are in peril now. Everyone understands that already.

The Losers (I) (2010)

Astoundingly empty and meaningless with the cast it has

[3/10 · 8 March 2022]

It is difficult to imagine how the actors - many of them big names - were lured to participate in this run-of-the-mill-and-a-bit-worse movie. The plot is bad, the characters' fates are meaningless (except for one tiny spark of hope for one of them expecting a baby, but it was also downplayed so much that it did not really help)... The scenes are designed for the coolness factor, rather than character or suspense, so that you just end up watching a series of cool shots, one of them adorned with a nice stutter-effect for no reason...

I don't even know how I ended up watching it to the end... I was just stunned and could not believe how bad it could be...

Waitress (2007)

Nathan Fillion saved what could be saved

[6/10 · 9 October 2021]

The story centres around a waitress/baker who dreams of an escape from her immature husband. If I were her, I would have dreamed of an escape from her horribly screechy-voiced co-workers as well. And perhaps the director, who seemed unable to draw decent performances from any of the central cast, including Keri Russell (there are scenes that make you cringe almost as badly as Russell is cringing on-screen).

Pretty much the only redeeming factor in this film was Nathan Fillion's portrayal of a likeable neurotic doctor. However, his character makes decisions that are never really explained or explored and thus remain mainly as background to the waitress' life.

Still, the script is not quite run-of-the-mill enough to deserve to be completely crushed. And Fillion saves a lot. So my grade is perhaps more kindly offered than it should be.

Noelle (2019)

Fun and lighthearted, but loses points for the advertisements

[6/10 · 24 December 2020]

I started watching this with certain trepidation - one likes to see lighthearted and fun Christmas movies at this time of year, but they usually end up being so cheesy and bad that you stop watching them after ten minutes. Not this time: Noelle manages to be fun and entertaining all the way through and even the bad jokes fit the mood perfectly. Unfortunately, the movie is also riddled with advertisements and pointedly long shots at certain storefronts and their logos. Somehow, they have tried to mix an endearing message of Christmas love and helping those who are less fortunate with an exceeding amount of commercialism.

Term Life (2016)

Forgets its interesting premise 5 minutes into the film

[4/10 · 24 November 2019]

This film gave the impression of a run-of-the-mill action flick, but I decided to watch it anyway because the premise sounded interesting: a father trying to stay alive for three weeks for his life insurance to kick in and provide his child with a good life.

Unfortunately, this premise was forgotten very quickly - there's no mention of the three week limit was given later in the story, no sense of time passing and the time limit approaching, no sense of desperation and need to survive only a day or two longer. Instead, we get some badly written father-daughter relationship and an entirely forgettable plot circling around dirty cops etc. Not a single surprise or novel idea along the way.

Practical Magic (1998)

Horribly bad

[2/10 · 4 November 2019]

This one was a truly horrible experience. The plot had some potential, but the writers or director were unable to keep the story in line. Instead, they tried to make it a silly unfunny comedy with occasional horror movie moments. I actually discussed the movie with someone who had read the book and understood that the movie was very different from the novel: most of the scenes that I abhorred (midnight margaritas, circle of town women doing magic) were not based on the book at all. It actually makes me want to read the book to see how horribly the movie-makers distorted it to produce this piece of garbage.

The Visit (I) (2015)

Utterly predictable

[4/10 · 20 September 2019]

It is a surprisingly well-acted film, considering that the focus is very much on two child actors (the adult actors are naturally very much superior). The set-up is great and the story has potential, but it is unfortunately filled with winks and hints about what's to come and that makes the plot very predictable.

The Counselor (2013)

Straight-forward, unimaginative story

[3/10 · 18 March 2018]

Despite having such a great cast and director, the movie manages to disappoint with a story that is utterly predictable and offers not a single surprise. I would have hoped for the makers to try to hide even some of what was going to happen, but now it was just a story of a cousellor heading for a train wreck.

Last Exit (2006 TV Movie)

Long-winded and dull

[2/10 · 4 November 2016]

The premise of the movie doesn't promise much, but the film delivers even less. Two women are shown to have been in a car accident. Then we spend more than an hour in a flashback showing their poor driving skills and dull lives with the usual disappointments and silly (but not funny) escapades until we finally arrive to the accident. The viewer doesn't care who lives or who dies at any point of the film.

The acting is mediocre, but better than in many other made-for-TV movies. The script is not very exciting and the futile attempt to make it so with an ominous soundtrack only makes the viewer laugh. I barely made it thought the ordeal without falling asleep.

Neighbors (I) (2014)

Surprisingly good

[7/10 · 25 February 2015]

I did not expect much from this, but the movie surprised me with pretty good characterisation of parents with a baby who are somewhat afraid of having left their youth behind - and on the opposite side young male students who are also hesitant of leaving their childhood behind. Bittersweet comedy ensues at both of their expense.

The only not-so-realistic aspect was the baby who was surprisingly peaceful and did not interrupt the parents as often as real babies do. Some of the comedy was forced, for sure, but I felt pretty good about the movie afterward and it was definitely one of the better comedies that I've seen within the past couple of years.

The Heat (I) (2013)

What's a comedy without laughs?

[1/10 · 6 December 2013]

It is a rare thing to bump into a comedy that I had to stop watching at about halfway through. Having laughed only to one joke and watching the rest in stupefied disbelief of the humourless script, there was no point in continuing. It is difficult to understand how the writers/director/actors could think this would be funny.

Sandra Bullock is her usual wooden self, but she is not even the worst part of the movie. Rather, that cake is taken by Melissa McCarthy who's role is clearly meant to be humorous, but none of her lines are actually funny. But she keeps repeating them over and over again, hoping that they get funny with repetition.

And the funny joke? The police captain's reference to his 5-year-old son. That made me laugh.

Europa Report (2013)

Missed opportunities

[4/10 · 18 July 2013]

Europa Report could have been a SF fan's dream come true: realistic exploration mission to find proof of the existence or non-existence of non-terrestrial life. However, the mission plan is so bad and characters so shallow that you quickly lose your interest in the proceedings. Even shallow characters could have been forgiven, if the mission itself was believable, but SPOILERS: the stupid mission plan that relied on the crew members to _react_ to situations rather than _plan_ for them ahead of time really undermined the whole thing. This was only made worse by the fact that there was no system redundancy at all - no back-up systems for anything that they needed during the mission and humans were sent out where simple robots might have done the same job better etc.

Overall, the movie was very dissatisfying to a SF fan.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)

Americans really need to improve their education system

[4/10 · 3 May 2013]

... if the current high school system really is so traumatic to most of their citizens. The Perks of being a Wallflower is yet another movie about a traumatic period of American kids' life called "high school". As if we did not have enough of these already.

If you can get over this trope, the story itself is on the border of OK/boring. None of the characters are really that interesting and the events depicted in the movie are more or less meaningless: gay characters have troubles, kids experiment with drugs and endanger their lives in traffic, relationships fail... To be fair, the traumas are not all caused by high school, but have their roots in the earlier lives of some of the characters. But these seem rather tagged on to make the characters more dramatic and the cases are slightly too numerous to make them believable.

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

Shallow and meaningless

[4/10 · 27 October 2012]

For me, the biggest failures of this movie were: 1. Shallowness We never really get inside the character's heads and most of the dramatic scenes (with Uncle Ben giving advice, dying etc.) are shallow and uninvolved - merely doing lip-service to the events ("oh, yeah, and this happened as well and we should make a scene out of it").

2. Villain The villain was a shallow shell and ultimately very uninteresting.

3. Aunt May She seemed to have something to do up until Uncle Ben died, but then she really did not do anything else but stand around. We didn't even see her grieve properly. So, shallow again.

4. Bad love story The movie was long, but still failed to tell us how Peter fell in love with Gwen. Certainly he stuttered around her a lot, but they never seemed to actually talk about anything or make a real connection.

Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Better than I expected

[6/10 · 27 August 2011]

Conan the Barbarian (2011) bears the same name as the 1982 film, but rather than being a remake, the producers aimed to go back to the roots of the character and restart the franchise. Their hopes were high when the opening weekend approached, although most Conan fans were worried about what they had seen on the trailers and many of them feared the worst. The opening weekend was rather underwhelming and some even called the movie a flop. This naturally rid me of my remaining hopes and expectations for the movie and I went to the theatre expecting the worst. Not quite Uwe Boll worst, but close.

Happily, my low expectations allowed me to actually enjoy the movie and the two hours sped by faster than I could have imagined. I went in expecting little or no story and that's what was delivered. I went in knowing that the director, Nispel, has no idea how to make grand, sweeping moments in his movies and I didn't get any (who could forget the travel scenes with Poladouris' music in the 1982 movie – how I miss those). I went in knowing that the director is not a character director, so I was prepared to the overblown acting and embarrassing moments caused by lines delivered at wrong speed and with wrong timing. I knew that the script bore only passing resemblance to the Conan from Robert E. Howards stories. Lastly, I knew that the designing department had been doing their best to create the ugliest swords ever seen on the big screen.

With these expectations taken care of, I was left with the mere expectation of an action adventure movie with the focus heavily laid on the action. And that's pretty much what I was treated with. The actors pulled off their parts as well as they could with the sub-par character director (there are only a handful of experienced actors who can create stunning performances without the help of director). Jason Momoa gave a nice performance of Conan and looked the part better than any other actor has before. He was the gigantic panther that Robert E. Howard described in his stories. Steven Lang overacted his part as the main bad guy, but the last minute changes to the script at least gave him some motivation for what he was doing and he seemed to have lots of fun being the bad guy. The other actors were never really given time on-screen to fully realise their characters, but they did their jobs more or less well.

Overall, the two hours passed by quickly and I found that I had enjoyed the movie more than I had expected. It could have been far worse. But with a good director, better script and better music it could have been a lot better, too. If they ever do make a sequel, I hope they improve on those three aspects and do so by bringing Conan even closer to the Conan that we know from Robert E. Howards works. I want to see the reason people are willing to follow Conan. I want to see his natural leadership. I want to see the makings of a king.

Motherhood (I) (2009)

A comedy without humour

[3/10 · 5 August 2010]

I started watching this movie with more or less open mind, except for the fact that the genre was said to be "comedy". Therefore, I expected a humorous description of the life of a mother. Unfortunately, Motherhood failed completely for me. There was no humour at all, unless you count a couple of forced unfunny jokes. But there wasn't enough drama to call this a drama either. It seems to me that the director/writers did not actually know what they were making and someone in marketing decided to call it humour.

Now to the spoilers: For the first hour or so, the movie showed Uma Thurman running errands and blogging and encountering various sorts of people. Running errands may be part of motherhood, but it certainly is only a small part of it. Then, for the last half an hour, the movie focused on light drama as the blogging mother finally finds a way to describe what motherhood means to her (while the father is having fun with the kids and spending time with them). Unfortunately, none of what she ends up describing was ever shown on screen - she never showed that side of motherhood to the viewers and thus her description feels empty and tagged on. A lie, in short.

I must further add that I'm a father of a two-year-old and my wife is naturally a mother. Neither of us saw anything in this movie relating to our life. Except that we are always busy, but we didn't really need to be told that. ;)

I Do, They Don't (2005 TV Movie)

Pretty bad

[2/10 · 29 April 2010]

The plot premise is pretty standard fare - a couple get married in Vegas and then have to tell their kids what's happened. Where it goes sour is scripting and acting. The adult actors cannot even act drunk in the Vegas scene, nor is their hangover believable in the morning after. The lines they deliver are unbelievable and forced. Some of the kid actors are actually far better than the adults.

The plot turns are all predictable and are basically taken from the Handbook of Average Made-for-TV Movies. It is a movie that makes you sit it through, frowning at the badness of the script, but holding promise of it getting better. But it never does.

Feast of Love (2007)

A rare gem

[8/10 · 21 February 2009]

A movie that manages to be genuine while making you laugh and cry at the fates of the characters in it. I usually go for romantic comedies rather than drama, but this mix of drama, romance and comedy really did it for me. It did not go overboard in trying to make the viewers cry, like so many dramas tend to do and it managed to mix sad comedy with funny comedy - the way they mix in real life as well.

Morgan Freeman is the veritable pillar that holds the whole thing together. One of his better roles (as opposed to many movies that he's been hired to be "the grave guy") and reflects the wisdom of old age very well.

Max Payne (2008)

Better than it is reputed to be

[6/10 · 25 January 2009]

It seems to me that the fans of the game are disappointed because Max Payne doesn't have as much action as the original games. They really should realise that games and movies are different medium altogether. Like another reviewer said, the film opts for a quieter tone, and a much more thoughtful and introspective approach. It is a murder mystery game, not an action flick, and this is a big plus for it.

Personally, as a father of a baby girl, I felt very involved with the plot all the way through. It did not reach the caliber of, for example, Gladiator, which has a similar theme, but it was still a decent exploration of the pain and sorrow that the main character feels.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Another sequels that pales in comparison to the original

[5/10 · 15 October 2008]

I expected a lot from TDK after seeing the spectacle that was Batman Begins. Unfortunately, TDK failed in most respects - there's not a scene in the movie that makes you care about the fates of any of the characters. The characterizations are very shallow and there's no chemistry between the main characters. Simply put, the movie doesn't involve the viewer in any way.

TDK is undoubtedly the darkest Batman movie made thus far and the production values are first-rate as far as it comes to editing and filming and set design. Thus, it is a pity that the story and characters fail to deliver.

Deep Rising (1998)

Awful to the extreme

[1/10 · 31 July 2006]

Some say that when you have seen one monster flick, you have seen them all. Well, in case of Deep Rising, that saying is verified. There's simply nothing new in this movie - every scene has been seen before and made better in other movies. Want a scene where people have to dive for 20 metres to escape a monster? Deep Rising's got that one! Want a scene where one of the cannon fodder guys shoots at a monster and says that "Eat that, monster!" only to get eaten by something lurking behind them? Deep Rising's got that as well! Same with the "surprise twist at the end" thingy. Yay! The only remotely positive thing in this flick is Famke, but in such a crappy piece, even she cannot save it.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Best of the Prequels

[5/10 · 2 June 2005]

This movie was definitely the best of the three prequels for the Star Wars saga. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that it was a great movie. Unlike in the two first installments, the Revenge of the Sith managed to bring forth my emotions at a couple of points, but I still could not but laugh whenever the screen was decorated by a so-called romantic scene. Lucas still doesn't know a better way to describe love and emotions than making the characters say them aloud or staring silently into the distance...

Still, I was pleased by this movie and my only wish is that Lucas had made episodes I&II into a single movie (spanning the childhood of Anakin) and not filled them up with useless and meaningless scenes. This third movie shows the strength of a focused story versus the incoherence that episodes I&II represented. 6/10

See Jane Date (2003 TV Movie)

Surprisingly good for a TV movie

[6/10 · 25 January 2005]

I was happily surprised by this made-for-TV movie. At first, the annoying jingles playing on the background in every scene really got on my nerves and distracted from the movie itself, but when one got used to that (learned to ignore it) the movie turned out to be a relatively thoughtful piece on the developing friendship between two women. The bits about dating difficulties actually started to seem a secondary plot, although they provided some funny moments too (not so thoughtful, though). I would have welcomed some less screen time given to the dating aspects and more to the description of the friendship.

Charisma Carpenter was great in her lead role, but Holly Marie Combs was not too bad either.